Brain on Porn (Social #2) - DeYtH Banger (a book to read TXT) 📗

have sex on a screen really worth it, guys?

 

2. Engaging in social media

 

We all engage in social media to some extent. It allows you to stay in contact with distant friends and share what you're up to. But, it's all too easy to tie your sense of self-worth to your social media "game."

What I mean by this is that we're all validation-seeking beings by default. We love recognition. It makes us feel "good" and important. And so, posting a pic of you riding a camel in Africa and receiving 100 likes can fulfill this need.

Now, in the selfie age in which we live, this is a bigger problem with women. But, I see guys doing it, too.

I'm not suggesting you delete your Facebook and Instagram profiles immediately, but rather, manage how much time and effort you dedicate to them. Try to only do the "newsfeed scroll" once a day to help your brain unplug from the social media matrix.

 

3. Playing video games

 

Playing video games is a form of escapism. It allows you to escape the real world, even if just for a moment. Whether you're LeBron James in "NBA 2K" or a badass mercenary in "Call of Duty," it can feel damn good to dominate with the controllers.

And, escapist hobbies are good — to an extent. Getting away from the day-to-day grind is healthy in limited doses. It's like a form of mild meditation. But, there's a huge danger of over-consumption, the same as with social media.

You have to draw the line somewhere or you'll risk becoming that guy who ties his own self-worth and sense of achievement to how quickly he can level up his "WoW" character.

You don't want to look forward to playing video games more than you look forward actually doing things and experiencing the world.

Grabbing a beer with buddies, going rock-climbing, hitting the gym or reading a good book aren't things that should take second station to firing up the Xbox.

 

4. Watching extensive TV

 

This habit is more-or-less "bad" for the same reasons as playing videos games. Using television shows to escape the world and immerse yourself in an alternate reality is healthy in small doses, but you don't want to be the guy who talks about Hurley from "Lost" like he's your real pal.

 

 

 

 

 

Porn Addiction Side Effects and How to Quit Porn

 

 

 

 

 

Porn Addiction Side Effects

 

 

Porn is so dangerous because it can easily become a part of your daily routine.  After all, it’s not uncommon for men to admit to jerking it to porn several times per day.

I mean, let’s face it – looking at naked chicks and busting a nut feels good. That’s why we do it.

However when you do anything that frequently, and you do it over the course of several years, there’s clear potential for the activity to change how you think, act, and even identify with yourself. This is what makes porn so dangerous. Below are some of the more common specific side effects that can – and usually do – develop over time if you consistently watch porn.

 

1. Reduced motivation to meet and date real women

 

When you get used to satisfying your sexual urges by flipping open your laptop and watching porn, why would you go out of your way to date real women? Porn is so much easier…

But what do you really want? To get off watching OTHER people have sex on your SCREEN… or to actually having sex yourself?

 

2. Erectile dysfunction

 

When you get used to getting turned on and ejaculating as a result of watching pixels move around on your screen, your brain will physically change. It will train itself to be aroused by watching porn instead of being with a real woman.

This ability of our brain to “rewire” itself is called neuroplasticity… and it’s very real.

Now, there are many different ways to naturally improve erectile function. But at the end of the day, if you’re dysfunction is caused by porn addiction, you’re going to have to quit in order to get back to normal.

 

3. Unrealistic sexual expectations

 

The women you see in porn are wearing absurd amounts of makeup, and most of them have undergone multiple plastic surgeries. Real women don’t look like pornstars (and that’s a good thing – google “pornstars without makeup” if you don’t believe me).

This is another reason you can develop sexual dysfunction – real women often “fail” to live up to the pornographic fantasies you’ve become so accustomed to.

Another significant way porn can alter your sexual expectations is how they depict common sexual scenarios. Women simply don’t initiate sex like they do in porn – it tends to be the man’s job. So you can stop waiting on your teacher, flight attendant, or cleaning lady to strip down and fuck you in the middle of the day…

 

4. Shame spiraling

 

Do you feel guilty about watching porn? Is it something that you hide from other people?

The truth is that many guys are ashamed that they watch porn. It’s not in line with their principles.They know it’s a bad habit, and that other people look down upon it, and so they do it in secrecy. And this eats away at their self-esteem and makes them feel insecure, unworthy, and just all-around shitty about themselves.

 

5. Escalating to extreme and perverted sexual tastes

 

One trend that’s been recorded is the tendency of men to view more and more extreme forms of porn as time goes on.

A simple man on women sex scene begins to fail to arouse them and so they move onto threesomes, gang bangs, rape scenes, and other perverted types of porn. I won’t even go into how this will fuck up your brain and turn you into an all-out pervert – it should be obvious.

 

6. It can lead you to putting women and sex on a pedestal

 

Watching porn can make sex seem more like a dream and less like a reality – especially if you aren’t regularly getting laid. And this can lead you to pedestalizing women and the act of sex. After all, if you need to watch porn to release your sexual urges, then could it be that you aren’t worthy of real-life women?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quitting porn is so important because it frees you from all of the negative side effects I mentioned above. Some will take time, and others will diminish immediately – but they will all go away if you can stick to your guns for the long haul.

If you’re currently struggling to quit porn, follow the steps below, stop watching porn, and I promise that you’ll be that much happier, more confident, and sexually potent for doing so.

 

1. Change your identity

 

Studies have shown that we often must change how we see ourselves in order to change our behaviors. For example, if you struggle to goto the gym you might buy a bunch of new gym clothes in order to start thinking of yourself as a “gym rat” – with the hopes of this identity change sparking your motivation to hit the gym.

I think a simple identity change that will help you stop watching porn is to think of it as a silly behavior that a weaker, more insecure, and less experienced version of yourself used to do. When you think about hitting up your favorite porn site, just laugh and think about how stupid and pointless it is, and how you don’t do that shit anymore. It’s never very satisfying or fulfilling anyways.

 

2. Jerk it without porn

 

There’s a test out there called the “Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction Test”. All it involves is masturbating without watching pornography or imagining a pornographic fantasy.  If you can get hard and ejeactualte without much effort, you pass. If not, you fail – and you likely have porn-induced ED.

Beyond this being a good test, it’s also an acceptable way to release pent up sexual energy without resorting to watching porn.

 

3. Replace it with another habit

 

This is a simple technique that works for kicking any bad habit. The same way that a nicotine addict might chew a piece of gum when they want to smoke a cig, you need to find something else to do when you get the urge to watch porn. Exercising and meditating are two activities I recommend for suitable replacements – or, at first, jerking it WITHOUT porn.

 

4. Don’t beat yourself up when you do it

 

Relapse is not only probable – it’s inevitable. Rather than shaming yourself and feeling like shit, reflect on what led you to relapsing and think about how you can better handle the situation next time you get the urge. Being too hard on yourself will only cultivate more self-hate and lead to a more vicious cycle of relapse in the future.

 

5. Get away from your computer when you get the urge

 

Question: Where do you watch porn?

Answer: On a computer.

Next time you get the urge to jerk it, take a break from being on your computer and go do something else – the urge will often subside when you remove yourself from that environment.

 

6. Pay a friend $100 if you slip up and watch porn

 

A final strategy that has worked EXTREMELY well for me in the past (for quitting any bad habit) is to tell a close friend that you’ll pay them $100 if you slip up. Just ask them to check in on you once per week.

If you go this route, be committed to actually following through and paying your friend if you slip up (go with $20 or $50 if $100 is more than you can tolerate). Otherwise it will not be effective.

 

 

 

Chapter 5 - I am Innocent

 24 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence

 

 

 

Note: Like you... I am innocent... just one click then it come another... from that another came few mroe...

 

and in the end came a craving for that content... it's a strange desire within you... within your brain.

 

 

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – E.E. Cummings

 

BY LEO BABAUTA

 

One of the things that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.

It’s something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear?

By working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Without really thinking of it in those terms, that’s what I’ve been doing over the years, and that’s what helped me finally overcome my fears, and finally pursue my dreams.

I still have those fears, undoubtedly. But now I know that I can beat them, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I’ve done it many times now, and that success will fuel further success.

This post was inspired by reader Nick from Finland, who asked for an article about self-worth and self-confidence:

Many of the things you propose make people feel better about themselves and actually help building self-confidence. However, I would be interested on reading your input in general on this topic. Taking time out for your own plans and dreams, doing things another way than most other people and generally not necessarily “fitting in” can be quite hard with a low self-confidence.

Truer words have never been spoken. It’s near impossible to make time for