Casual conversations on mind-boggling matters - Lucia Morosanu (best ebook reader for pc .txt) 📗

Casual conversations on mind-boggling matters

 

Lindsey stopped in front of room 505’s boring brown door. She adjusted the crooked number 0. I need to superglue this little fellow, or better still I’ll make Alex do it, she thought. Her hand paused for a second on the doorknob as she could hear strange sounds from inside.

“What now?” she said out load.

She took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped inside.

In the room there was Alex. And where there was Alex, something odd was bound to follow. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, with diabolical sounding music softly escaping from her laptop, while she was following words on the pages of a hardcover. The pages had golden margins while the cover was black and silent. The air had a faint smell of weed mixed with vanilla incense and unsweetened coffee.

“What are you doing now?” asked Lindsey visibly annoyed, closing the door behind her.

Alex raised one finger to demand silence and continued her strange ceremony.

“ ‘Over the Mountains

Of the Moon,

Down the Valley of the Shadow,

Ride, boldly ride,’

The shade replied-

‘If you seek for Eldorado!’ “ finished Alex.

“I told you, fucker. You can sing the verses of Poe’s ‘Eldorado’ using Carmina Burana – O Fortuna. The music was written for a Medieval Latin Goliardic poem, so it’s interchangeable with other poems. So, do you admit I was right, you prick?” said Alex looking at her phone.

“Yeah, fine. I was wrong. It actually sounded kind of cool. You win. I’ll wear the stupid ‘Will twerk for food’ T-shirt tomorrow. God damn it,” said a baritone voice from her phone. “Next bet, I’ll make you go to contemporary biology class dressed in a full pink camouflage outfit.”

“Dude, you’ll lose and I’ll laugh my ass off when you’re going to parade around campus with cat ears,” said Alex, laughing hysterically, “and you should thank your lucky, shiny stars that I don’t introduce a tail in that whole equation.”

“Aren’t you just an angel,” said the voice sarcastically.

“Like Lucifer before he tripped. But there is something I don’t get.”

“What?” asked the voice.

“Why the fuck camouflage?”

“You mean PINK camouflage? Really, I have to spell it out for you. Where are you going to blend in with that? In a candy factory or a “Legally blonde” convention?”

“Actually, camouflage is making a comeback,” said Lindsey, who had been looking dumbly at Alex all that time. She took a sip of her nonfat, soy latte and finally took a seat. Her 5-inch platforms had been killing her all day, so she took them off with swift and satisfactory moves.

“What? No, no, no. Dude, I can take pink, but I can’t take trendy. I will use this as fuel to secure my success. I shall be victorious!” said Alex just a bit too loudly.

“Ok, stop shouting. And we shall see about your fake confidence. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, man,” said Alex, hanging up. She smiled and got up from her bed. Her joints made an unhealthy popping sound as her feet touched the ground. Her phone remained stuck to her hand. Her clothes were barely revealing any line of her frame.

She smiled and got up from her bed. Her joints made an unhealthy popping sound as her feet touched the ground. Her phone remained stuck to her hand. Her clothes were barely revealing any line of her frame.

“Freak,” said Lindsey, looking at Alex’s clothes.

“Oh yes, I didn’t go outside today. I forgot I don’t meet your ridiculously superficial, misogynistic, media dictates, consumer-driven vision of what a female should look and sound like, so there surely must be something disturbingly wrong with me,’ said Alex, taking a seat and placing her phone on the desk.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know your pretentious over-feminist speech, but wearing actual GIRL clothes doesn’t make you anti-feminist. Do you actually have any article of clothing that was purchased from the women’s side of the store?”

“I think my bra was bought from the girls’ side. But I’m not entirely sure. It might just be some sort of a brassiere for fat guys,” said Alex.

“That is so disgusting, I think I threw up a little in my mouth,” said Lindsey sticking out her tongue.

They were now sitting parallel to one another, each at their own little desk. They didn’t necessarily mind that the size of the desks was insufficient because everything was small in that room: the beds, the chairs, the dressers. Only the bookshelf was the odd one out. It was big and filled with books; Alex’s books mostly; Lindsey barely managed to steal half a shelf for herself.

“Come on, don’t be hating. Big guys need love too,” said Alex making puppy eyes.

“Not from me they don’t. And can you please stop wearing that T-shirt around me? It’s very offensive,” said Lindsey with disgust.

Alex looked down at her T-shirt and smelled her armpits.

“It’s the smell, isn’t it? I think it’s high-time I washed this thing. I can smell myself. And if I can, I’m pretty sure you were more than able a long time ago,” said Alex, pulling disturbed faces.

“Stop doing that. You know very well what I’m talking about, you mongrel. You think you’re so smart with your elusive speech and witty jokes. Well, I’m here to say you’re not. You’re just annoying and I hate it when you play dumb. It makes you very unpleasant.”

“Well, my four friends would disagree with that,” said Alex proudly, scratching her right ear.

“You have FOUR friends? Oh my gosh, I’m totally shocked. Now, take that shirt off before I throw this coffee on your books,” said Lindsey tilting the cup in the bookshelf’s direction. She knew what particular nerve to hit in order to get her way.

The problematic article of clothing Lindsey was so inflamed about was from a little punk band called Bad Religion. As you might guess, it was black and baggy; a bit too baggy for the Alex’s delicate frame. Malnourished might me a better-suited word, but let’s just go with delicate. On the front of the T-shirt, there was a big white cross encircled by a fiery-red prohibition sign. It was not subtle.

“I’ve seen you walking around campus in that,” said Lindsey. “You’ll get smacked one day.”

“Oh yes, the land of the free and the home of the brave, was it? Until you say anything against religion that is. We do not tolerate religious debate in this secular state of ours. It’s just a band, grow up. Though it’s a very good one. I should be just as offended by the cross around your neck.”

“You’re bashing a two-thousand-year-old religion. Show some respect for other people’s beliefs,” said Lindsey in a harsh tone.

“If stating an opinion is bashing, then I should just move to Soviet Russia.”

“Russia is a democracy now. For someone who considers themselves very cultured and well-read, you know very little about current political events and affairs.”

“Ok; I’ll just walk away slowly now,” said Alex with a non-threatening fake smile on her face and hands raised.

“But putting your ignorance aside, the T-shirt really bothers me. Please change it. And make a note of the fact that I used the word ‘please’. I don’t throw that in the conversation just for everyone, you know.”

“Fine, if you make such a nice exception just for me. I’ll change it; but only if you give me half your coffee. I’m out and I’m kind of sleepy and I have to get to class and not fall asleep,” said Alex.

Lindsey handed her the cup and smiled smugly.

Alex drank it in one fast gulp. She flashed a wide smile while giving the cup back to her roommate.

“You said HALF,” said Lindsey, shaking the cup. It was nearly empty.

“You’re a Christian, you’ll forgive me.”

“I will. And unlike you, I will not forsake my views so easily.”

“You mean the T-shirt?” asked Alex.

Lindsey nodded. Alex started laughing a bit too honestly to be taken as sarcasm.

“This thing reeks of illegal, immoral and fattening things. I’m not going to walk around campus smelling like a pothead. These fascists are strict about that kind of stuff. And it’s just a piece of clothing, it does not define my views on the world,” said Alex turning her back to Lindsey and taking the much-debated T-shirt off. Suddenly, ‘R U Mine’ from Arctic Monkeys slashed the quietness.

Alex turned around and walked to the desk, half stripped. She looked at the screen and pressed ignore. Her face exposed the feelings she had toward the caller.

“Can you not walk around naked, please? Have a little decency,” said Lindsey sheltering her eyes with her palms.

“You know we have the same parts, right? Or do you think looking at another girl’s naked body is a sin or something,” said Alex.

“Yes, it’s indecent. Now put something on because I don’t want to have the image of you naked in my head all day.”

“Oh, you religious people and your views on the human body. You are so amusing,” said Alex, turning back to her dresser and picking out a black shirt. This one fitted her a bit better, but it was still clear it had a bit more fabric than her body required.

“Stop being so pretentious. You think you are so cool and hip because you don’t take anything seriously? You will pay for your mistakes in the end.”

“Did you just say ‘hip’? I think my grandma used that when I last talked to her. And I do agree with you. I think everyone pays for their mistakes, but Here not in some other dimension. At least, I hope everyone does. And I do take shit seriously; I’m just not as uptight about it as you are,” said Alex turning around. “Are you still mad that you walked in on me and James last week?”

“No,” said Lindsey in such a tone that only a girl could catch its true meaning.

“I told you I’m sorry about that. I thought you went home for the weekend.”

“Well, you were wrong, you sl…”

“Don’t you even dare use that word! You said I don’t take stuff seriously. I take it more seriously than you ever will. I never had unprotected sex and knew very well the person I was sleeping with. We live in a time when girls can do whatever they want with their lives, they can choose their own destiny. We should stick up for one another and take back our human rights. But you can’t see that, can you? You just throw at me the medieval argument that a woman’s worth is intertwined with the lack of the presence of a penis at some point inside her. You should be ashamed of yourself,” finished Alex, her fingers twitching with passionate impulses.

“But the Bible says…”

“I don’t care what the Bible says,” interrupted Alex. “It also says not to alter your appearance. But you wear so much make-up that I have no idea what you actually look like. And another thing; if you think sex is just a penis going in and out of a vagina, then there is something wrong with you,” continued Alex. She stopped for a second, “crap, I forgot deodorant.” She rummaged around for the white container with the cucumber on it, opened her shirt and gently rubbed her armpits with it. She proceeded to dress again.

“Sex, when done right, is a communion between two people, it’s like a dance where the steps come naturally. It’s one of the most intimate moments two people can share. It’s letting another person see you completely exposed and fragile. And as a girl, it means letting someone inside you. And when you truly feel it in your soul that it is the right thing to do, that moment can make you think that the world has snapped a primordial twig and has stopped rotating on its axis.”

“That is probably the most beautiful thing I have ever heard coming