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chapter 1


I think to myself fuck its hot it feels like my face is in an oven and there is a fan someone is throwing sand into and it’s hitting my face. My body is soaked with sweat and it 0200 in the morning. Sitting in my Humvee my body armor is still heavy my helmet is still tight and there’s hardly any room to move. I look down the road and the only light is from my Humvee and an oil well about a mile up the road. It’s tall and looks like the devils finger. We all knew to keep our eyes open when we saw the devils finger because we were headed into hell.
I keyed my mic to point out devils finger and let them know we were going in blacked out. The lights went off and I turned on my night vision. Then familiar green glow came from the little light there was and the lasers on the weapons looked like light sabers that extended as far as the eye could see. The radio was silent as we approached devils finger. As soon as we passed the first explosion went off we couldn’t see anything from the smoke and dirt. All you could hear were screams and gun fire. Shots rang out in every direction it was a road side bomb and ambush.
Everyone was yelling and screaming for information no one could tell where the shots were coming from. I jumped out seeing the flash from gun fire I flipped my safety raised my rifle an ran to the mound of sand I dove to the ground for cover squeezing the trigger as fast as I could get back on target. When the shooting stopped I ran to the Humvee that had been hit and pulled open the door. It was still on fire pretty well engulfed in flames. As the door opened I could smell the burning flesh and the screams had dulled to soft hurting words “help” I reached in to grab the truck commander my hand touched his arms and all I felt was boiling flesh. The skin was still on fire and started to burn mine I put my head on his side and threw him over my shoulder hearing the scream in his voice let me know there was still energy left in him. I ran about 20 yards and laid him in the sand and called for the medic as I ran back to get the others. The driver door was open and I called for him there was blood everywhere. He yells from the ground ” sir I’m still good it’s just a flesh wound” I look down and he’s laying on the ground with a belt as tight as he could get it around what was left of his left leg. I pick him up and start running again I laid him next to the truck commander and head back for the gunner. I hadn’t realized the shots had started back all I could think about was my boys I have to save them. I yell for the gunner and there is no response the truck is covered in flames but I can see his body hanging over the side of the turret. As faced as I could I climbed up the back side of the Humvee and I could see the blood on top of the roof boiling. I grabbed him by his vest and started to pull when the sky lit up with explosions. All around us was blowing up nowhere to run nowhere to hide. A rocket hit the driver side of the Humvee throwing my off but I never let go my gunners lifeless body lays on top of me. I can feel is blood on my hands rolling from his face and neck on me soaking me in his blood. I roll him off of me and can barely move myself I drag him to the medic.
I pull my rifle and start firing again running back to my truck my driver yells air support on its way! I yelled to him to drive over to the medic and load up. I knew the chopper wouldn’t land there not in a hot landing zone and we were down one truck and running low on ammo. The only way I was getting anyone home alive was to get out of there.
My driver called over the radio “boss lets go were loaded up” I called back and told him to turn around at the sheep dump and meet me at the devils finger. He told me your nuts boss. But he knew that there was no other place to turn around without making a 12 point turn. I jumped the sand mound and stayed low to the ground running to the finger.
I’m about 30 yards away when I see movement at the bottom of the finger when the shots start wiz zing by. I returned fire but never stopped running. I was on my last mag and I knew it but I had no other choice. I pulled the trigger again and again and all I got was click click. I changed from my rifle to my pistol and kept shooting there was a sharp pain in my leg and I fell to the ground. I rolled toward the mound laid out prone I started making better shots. I hear my truck its getting close he honked at me and I hear my gunner let loose on the finger. I stand up and fall down and try again I can’t put any weight on my right leg it’s on fire. I start hoping to my truck and the explosions start again. It hits close and knocks me up against my truck I’m dizzy it hurts to breathe. I pull the door open and get drug in.
I open my eyes and take a deep breath my wife says what the hell let go of my hand if you’re going to try a break it. Then I hear the explosions and the bright flashes it’s the 4th of July and I’m lying in the back of my truck with my wife. Every firework that goes off I tense up and hold my breath. I can’t take it it’s too much I have been home for just one month I look at my wife and tell her we need to go. She said “really I can’t believe you it’s just started. Were never going to be able to do anything this is bull shit” I jump in the truck and grab the wheel with both hands I start seeing stars shit I have been holding my breath the whole time.
I get on the highway we have an hour drive home. When I see and explosion on of the corner of my eye I jerk the wheel but manage to keep it on the road I slow down now trying to stay focused and keep myself out of hell. My wife looks at me and tells me I’m a fucking ass hole. The rest of the drive no words are spoken.
No sooner then I pulled in the drive way she jumped out I stayed sitting in my truck for about 20 minutes until I got out and laid in the back. There were no fireworks anymore it was quiet I stared up at the stars I thanked god for saving everyone’s life that day and a shiver went down my spine. My hands hurt and I put them together the skin was tight and my hands were stiff. I told myself fuck I’m 21 and my body hurts like this fuck my life! I fell asleep staring up at the moon and stars as my wife lay in our bed crying.

chapter 2


I was standing up against the wall in the corner it was pitch black the only reason I could see was because I had on my night vision. The man walked in with his eyes to the ground following my bloody foot prints as he got closer I saw other men walk in behind him. I knew I couldn’t shoot I had to do it quiet. he followed my foot prints to the wall I could hear him breathing he was standing right in front of me he saw my boots and started to look up when I grabbed him and covered his mouth. I pulled my knife out and ran it across his neck. The sound haunts me it was the sound of slicing a juicy ham and the gurgling of a stopped up sink. I pulled him in close and held him tight to my body. I wrapped my other arm around him to keep him up right. The blood flowed over my arm it felt like hot lotion. The smell of copper gripped my nose. his heart was beating slower I felt his body going limp as he tried to take his last breath both his hand gripped my arms tight as they loosened I knew I had taken this man’s life. His body went limp and I slowly laid him down his eyes were still open looking at me. The memory haunts me every time I let my mind drift off. All I could think about was this man might have kids and a wife he won’t be going home to did they get to say good bye and it was all by my hand. The blood of war cannot be washed from my hands I had taken a man’s life up close and personal I felt his blood on my body and I was holding him as the life had left his body.
I couldn’t sit and think about it. It was his life or mine and now his life was taken by my hands. There are still 3 people left in the house. I look over at my partner and he is sitting over one of the men still with his 13 inch knife still in his head. The knife was stuck up under his chin and threw his head the bloody tip was sticking threw the man’s scull blood running to the floor. We have 2 left we can’t think about what we have done all we can think about is what we still have to do to leave this place alive.
Its dark there is little light in the room why can’t I see? What happened to my night vision? My heart starts to race I stand up fast and my head hits something I crouch and take a step toward the only light that’s close. I fall and hit my head on something I can feel blood starting to run down my face from over my right eye I worried now I can’t put things together. From behind me I hear a voice yell at me “what

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