The lady on the Rolls-Royce - Phil Humor (read this if TXT) 📗

David Thunder stopped his Rolls-Royce in front of another Rolls-Royce. “Do you need my helping hand?” he asked the lady, who was sitting on the hood of her Rolls-Royce. “It is getting dark and cold – and you wear just a thin, white silk dress.”

“You describe very exactly my outfit. Good powers of observation, sir. I am waiting for you here. You are David Thunder – the famous TV talk show host. I have an offer for you. You should not reject. My offer is very attractive.”

She smiled. David got out of his Rolls-Royce. “Are you not afraid, that the big bad wolf could come along here? This is not a busy road.”

David was standing right in front of the lady. He looked into the car. Nobody else was there. “I think, it is getting warmer, though the first stars sparkle in the sky.”

“That is because, I am so close to you. That is only natural that an attractive lady is responsible for warming processes. That happens to me every now and then.”

“When was the last time you overheated a man? - Your dress offers your legs a good opportunity to be admired by my greedy eyes.”

“What kind of legs do your wife put around you, to pull you closer?”

She put her bare legs around his body. “I go right in thinking that you do not need any help with your Rolls-Royce? It is not broken? - But it seems I have a broken marriage in a few minutes.”

“Oh! That would take hours! I have studied the whole techniques of love. I am almost perfect. I need just a bit more of practice with a talented training partner.”

She kissed him on his lips. “By the way - I have written a book.”

She bent to the side and drew a book from inside of the Rolls-Royce. “Maybe I could present my newly written book in a good TV show. And millions of people would see how witty I am talking with the nice host.”

“That would be me? I am very relieved, that you just wish to use me as a step on your career ladder.”

David leafed through the book. - He laughed. “Witty writing style. - Yes, maybe you can read a few lines from the book in my TV talk show ‘Thunder-Talk’. - But if you are in possession of a Rolls-Royce, why do you want to continue to make money? - Or are you looking for glory?”

“Let’s discuss all this, after I have convinced you of my writing skills and amorous skills. You will see I am very talented in both fields!”

David sighed and shrugged with his shoulders. “I am married. Gloria is not jealous – but I am. She is the most wonderful woman – and I have nothing but my ability to ask silly questions in a manner that it seems to be bright and intelligent.”

“Ask me something silly.”

She bent her head against his chest. David: “You have a slight resemblance to Gloria. It is in your eyes – this slight mocking smile – your full lips.”

She looked in her hand mirror and nodded. “Yes, my lips are worth being kissed. What a pity that this pretty, smooth and soft appearance will pass, will vanish – like a river in the desert. Drink when it is the right time. Thirst can be cruel.”

David gulped. “I am very thirsty, indeed. And life can be a cruel desert. But I have an oasis: a glorious one. And I am glad, that I found her, my Gloria.”

The lady smiled and slipped off from her Rolls-Royce. “I think you will be very happy to learn, that your Gloria is near you. Always. There she comes.”

She pointed in the direction from which he had come. A third Rolls-Royce approached and stopped beside them. Gloria climbed out of her car. “Hi, Jacqueline – Was your seduction mission a success? It seems to me, that my beloved husband remained steadfast. David, there will be a nice reward for you later.”

David kissed his wife Gloria. “Then let us speed up the time. I do not want to wait for later. - On the other hand – waiting is the charm of life.”

Gloria hugged Jacqueline. “This is my cousin Jacqueline. Her husband has betrayed her – and then she was convinced that all men are unfaithful. A great crisis. And I needed remedy for her.”

David: “I was the remedy? Desire is a strong opponent. I might have infected me with doubt. To be loyal to one’s own standards – is that a way to mental health?”

David gave Jacqueline her book back. “I will read it. And if it has my approval, you should present it in my show Thunder-Talk.”

“Fine. Yes, I am rich. My divorce was lucrative. But my soul is currently in a poor condition. Writing and success might give me back my spiritual richness.”

David: “You have a nice cousin. Are there more of your family members, who wait on streets, to make tests with my ability to resist temptations?”

Gloria smiled. “Yes, indeed, I have four unmentioned attractive female family members. The next test is waiting for you. Whether in the near future or never?”

Jacqueline: “I am relieved to see, that not every non-female member of mankind is unfaithful. Hurray! And an extra hurray for the oasis in the desert. May everybody find his oasis. Otherwise we die of thirst for love.”

A few minutes later the three Rolls-Royce drove away into the darkness.

Text: Coverfoto: http://www.alanayers.com
Publication Date: 12-26-2010

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