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I closed my eyes, a single tear rolled down my cheek. I’ve heard that right before you’re about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. I waited for it, but only one memory came to mind. Two years back, sitting in the kitchen with my son, Jake, talking about a date I was going on.

“Mom, I don’t trust him.”

I laughed. “Robert seems like a really nice guy. You’re only fourteen, I think you’re more worried about losing your mommy‘s attention.”

“It’s not funny.” His face was straight. “Can you at least find out more about him before you go out with him.”

I blew my breath and looked into his eyes. “It’s not like guys are beating down my door. I’m getting older and I feel like time is running out. I don’t want to be alone.” I straightened out his shirt collar.

He rolled his eyes. “You’re not alone, I’m here.”

I smiled. He was too young to understand. “I know I have you, but what about when you get older and start dating. No more ‘movie nights’, no more morning jogs together, no more dinners, no more mommy’s little boy.”

“We can still do those things. I’ll always make time for you.”

How sweet. What do you say to put your son’s mind at ease when you’re single and want to date? He’s worried that the wrong man will come in and destroy everything that we worked hard to build back up after his father’s death tore it apart. I squeezed both his cheeks and kissed his forehead. “I’m going. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

Those words echoed in my mind and I opened my eyes. I was crouching down in the closet of the conference room at my job, a job I had started a month ago. I was making copies for one of the dentists when I heard shouting and shooting coming from the lobby of the small dentist office. I hurried and closed the door, quietly, and that’s when I ran to the closet.

My palms were sweating, my heart raced and my legs cramped. What am I going to do? My cell phone is in my coat pocket at my desk and there’s no phones in the conference room. More shooting and screaming came from the lobby. I felt around in the dark for anything in the closet that could be used as a weapon. Feeling around in the dark. I stopped moving when those words sent me back into another flashback.


Robert and I walked into a dark house. “I told that boy to leave a light on when he knows it will be dark before anyone gets here.” I felt around to switch on the living room light.

Robert grabbed my arm. “Leave them off. Turn some music on and light a candle, let’s dance a little.”

I laughed. “You’re very romantic, but I can’t see a thing. With my luck, I’ll probably set the place on fire.” He switched the light on. I lowered my eyebrows.

“How did you know the switch to the chandelier was over there?”

He delayed for a second. “My eyes were adjusted to the dark, I could see the cord running down the wall.” He smiled.

“Guess I expect every one to be as blind in the dark as I am.” I blushed.

He walked over to me and rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand. “Pink looks good on you.” We both laughed, then he leaned over and kissed me. At first, I pulled back a bit. It was weird, it always felt weird. He wasn’t my husband. It was a natural feeling of guilt and Robert understood that, he lost his wife around the same time I lost Chris.

When I got over the hurdle of the weirdness, I guess I was so lost in the kiss that I didn’t hear the front door unlocking before someone was opening it. “What’s going on,” Jake asked.

I ran over to him. “Oh, Jake, honey I thought you were staying the night at your friend’s house.” He rolled his eyes and I whispered to him. “Be nice,” I grabbed his hand and guided him toward Robert.

“Jake,” Robert put out his hand to shake. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting a boy, but you look more like a man.” He laughed and waited for Jake to shake his hand, but he never did.

“You guys are already kissing,” Jake said, eyes shifting back and forth between the both of us. “You’ve only been on like two dates.”

“Jake your mother and I-”

“Just save it.” Jake walked away.

The memory faded.


I shut my eyes real tight and shook my head. Come on, shake it off. Got to stay focused. I had to remind myself of the situation I was in. I continued to feel around for something when I heard the door to the conference room open.

“In here, now! Move it,” The shooter yelled. I put my hand over my mouth and crouched back down. My breathing was starting to be more rapid. Fear wrapped around my heart and held on tight. My heart pounded so loud that I couldn’t hear anything else. I thought I would have a heart attack¾I hoped for one.

Then the closet door opened.

I looked up at the shooter and he pointed his gun at me and yelled words, but I still couldn’t hear anything over the sound of my heart beating. It was like my ears had plugs in them. I threw both of my hands up and begged for him not to hurt me and he grabbed me by my shirt collar and pulled me up. He pushed me over to the corner with five others that were in the building: one other secretary, three patients, and a dentist. There were two dentists before the shooter came in.

When he pushed me into the corner my hearing came back, I could hear the other secretary begging the masked shooter to let us go. “Shut up and sit down,” he yelled in a fake, bad accent, and I was thrusted back into another flashback.


Jake, Robert, and I were sitting at the dining room table. “Jake, you’re not going to say anything.”

He looked up from his plate. “I told you I didn’t want to do this.”

I sighed and looked over at Robert, then back at Jake. “I spent a lot of time planning this dinner so we can take some time and talk. You and Robert have a lot in common.”

“Yeah, your mother told me you loved DC comics. I have two stacks of them, still in plastic.” Robert looked over at me smiling, almost to say he knew the comic thing would get him, but it didn’t.

“Aren’t you a little old to still have a comic book collection?”

I sighed again. I know Jake and he wasn’t going to budge. “Just go to your room,” I said without looking at him. He got up and left. “He’s as stubborn as his father,” I said once I heard him going up the stairs.

Robert picked up his glass of water and took a couple sips. “Don’t worry. This is a big step, he’ll come around.”

I rubbed over my face with one hand. “This is very frustrating, it’s almost enough to call the whole thing quits.” I got up from the table and cleared my plate.


That night I looked in on Jake, he was sleeping. I walked over to him and gave him a kiss, then I tiptoed back out.

The next morning I was up early, fixing Jake his favorite breakfast. Jake walked into the kitchen and didn’t say anything, he was still upset. “Good morning, baby.” I walked over to give him a hug and he backed away. “How long is this little tantrum you’re trying to throw going to last?”

“Mom, I’m telling you, something is up with this guy.”

“I’m done discussing that with you. I’m dating him so you need to get over the paranoia.” I turned back to the stove.

“Did you even stop to think if he was after something, like, I don’t know, the large inheritance that Aunt Lucy is leaving you?”

I looked up to the ceiling, then back over at him. “Really Jake, just stop.” He grabbed his bag sitting on the floor next to the back door, and walked out,slamming the door behind him. Well, I’m glad he left before Robert got up. I thought, grabbing a plate out of the cabinet.

I carried Robert’s plate up the stairs and into my room. Robert had been sleeping over seldomly for the last two weeks. I was falling hard for him, but didn’t want him to know. “Wow, this looks amazing.” He looked up at me and sat the plate on the night stand. He got up out the bed and took something out of the pocket of his pants. I laid down on the bed and he laid down next to me. “What do you think about this,” he said, handing me a small, black box.

I opened it and gasped. “Robert, it’s beautiful.” I was teary-eyed.

“I know Jake doesn’t approve of us yet, but he will. I didn’t expect to fall in love with you this fast. I need a wife, you need a husband to love and protect you, and Jake needs a father figure to guide and love him. What do you say?”

I smiled for a moment, looking at the ring and thinking about how good it would feel to be a complete family again. To come home to another grown up, and to have a husband holding me every night. Last thought before answering: Jake would hate me forever if I made a decision like this before he was comfortable with me even dating. I closed the ring box. “I can’t, not right now. Jake and I have been through a lot together, holding each other up after losing his father. I already feel bad about how things are going.” I looked over at Robert and put my hand on top of his. “If you love me, you’ll wait just a little longer. I have to put my wants and needs to the side for the sake of my son. How do you feel about that?”

He gave me a faint smile. “I think you’re right. How Jake feels about me is one of the most important factors in this relationship.”

“Thank you for understanding.”


Hearing sirens outside the building helped me snap back. The shooter was pacing the floor. He doesn’t have a plan. “Come out, with your hands up! We have the building surrounded,” an officer said over a megaphone.

The shooter paced faster, tapping his head with his gun. He walked over to the window and looked out. “Alright, you,” he pointed the gun at me. “Get up!”

The other secretary grabbed my hand and I put my head down. “No, please,” I begged.

He knelt down and pulled my head up by yanking on my hair. He stuck the gun in my mouth and asked, “Do you want to die?!”

The word die triggered another flashback.


It had been a week and Jake hadn’t spoke to me. I asked Robert not to sleep over for a while, just

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