Coming Out Of The Pain - Anna Harris (my miracle luna book free read .txt) 📗

Being with Joe gave me a new perspective on life, I understood so many things far better, I could hide from the world but not from Joe
and that make me happy, at least he got me, he cared for my feelings but in a way at times it make me scare to love him so much, to feel
so deeply for him, getting hurt was the last thing I ever wanted in my life but one thing was true I couldn't live in fear for the rest of my
life, it was not worth it. Joe had taught me to come out and do my best, to show my good side and also my bad side, be clean, just be
yourself, being afraid is not good for the soul, he learned that too, we are both in the process of learning not to hide in some corner of
the world just to avoid people. I knew deep down inside that even if we tried really hard not to hide some part of ourselves would do
that some times, it was human nature for us to be a certain way. I had been learning the truth about the people around me and some
of them really surprised me with their attitudes, people who I thought care about me came out to show who they were for real, it had been
dissapointing to see people who had said so many times how much they loved me turned the face and be somebody different but maybe
I needed to see the truth. It was understandable to be afraid that Joe would hurt me but he seemed so honest with me that he erased
any doubt from my mind.

What really got me sometimes was how hard he was to the people in his band but I knew he was hard on himself too. One time we were
at one of the clubs he played with his band and he got jealous because a guy invited me to dance, I was moving my shoulders and feet
to the music, most people were dancing so I didn't think there was nothing wrong with doing it, I was having a real good time but when the
song finished he left the guys on stage and took me by the arm.
"Joe what are you doing?", he took me away from the guy I had been dancing.
"I think you should be with me", he said clearly with his deep voice.
"You haven't finished your concert"
"I think you should wait in the car", he got me upset.
"What?, no, why should I do that?"
"I don't want you here, that is all", I was mad at his behavior.
"Too bad for you, I am going to stay here, don't kick me around, you have the guys in your band to that", he looked at me with surprise.
"Are you fighting me?, he looked deeply at me.
"Yes I am Joe, do you have a problem with that?", one of the guys came to get him.
"Joe come on, you need to sing another song"
"I'll be right there kid", he answered him.
"I like to see you jealous"
"I didn't know that I could get this jealous"
"Well, I liked it Joe", he smiled.
"You are tought, I think you are from New Jersey where all the tough people come from", I laughed.
"Hey maybe I am", we smiled at each other.
"I got to get back", he took me by the hand and went inside then jumped into the stage to sing another good song.

I didn't know how Joe did it but he erased some of the pain that was inflicted in me by my father's stepson, he took it out of
the heart with his music, with his charisma and his personality. He was tought and deep and I love that about him. We were both raised
in the eighties with the good sounds of music. We had the values that people of today lacked so much. It was real to us that the things
of yesterday were far better, listening to good bands, crusing with your favorite guy or girl with the top down in your car, dancing to
good music, hickies and using turtle necks to cover them if you could, sometimes people knew better, it was the good old days, now
things are so different, people do everything right in front of you, romance and music are not what it used to be, there were
good artists out there but so much competition, red carpets and award shows made quality stay behind. Joe didn't like many of the new
stuff going around and I totally agreed, we were from another time where simpler things made people happy. He was in the basement
of the house rehearsing and I was writing, I could hear him from the terrace.
"No, no Tony, you are all over the place man, get a grip, come on"
"I am trying Joe"
"Come on, one, two, one two, there, get it, smoother, yeah, there you go man", he was demanding, I knew so but he was passionate and
that I loved about him, I love a man with determination, with intensity and Joe had plenty of that. At work there was this guy who people
thought he was in love with me and I was in love with him just because we joked all the time but they were wrong he was not my type of
man, he was to tame, to scare of his supervisors and to me that show lack of determination besides Joe was for me everything that I
want in a man, the one for me even if we fought some times. I was trying to concentrate to write poetry and Joe's voice kept coming
from the basement.
"What is that Rick, tell me, what is that?"
"We got to step on it Joe"
"No kid, no, you seem in a rush to go somewhere, you are not going any where, you need to give it the right beat, got it?"
"It sounded good to me"
"Not to me", I thought that writing was impossible.
"Hey Joe keep it down I can't write"
"Then leave to some place you can write", that really got to me.
"Perfect then I'll see you tomorrow", I got up and got my notebook and pen ready to leave. "Mr. Weston needs to scream across the house
to make his sweet point to his band", I was walking out.
"Hey Anna, wait a minute"
"What Joe?", he looked at me for a minute.
"Where are you going?"
"To a place where I can write, you just told me to leave"
"I didn't mean it, come back in the house"
"Look Joe I am getting tire of all this pushing around"
"Oh come on babe I didn't mean it, it was just a phrase"
"I am writing this book about us but you are just screaming, I think is better if I go and write somewhere else"
"No come back inside, besides we are finish with practice"
"I don't trust you Joe", he got serious.
"Don't say that baby, you need to trust me", I got close to him and touch his face.
"I don't know what you do to me Joe Weston"
"The same thing you do to me, now lets go back inside"

Everything got quiet, the guys headed outside, they were leaving, Joe was with them. I stayed back in the house, sat down and tried
to write all of the emotions I had inside that needed to be expressed. I could see Joe talking to the guys, his screaming really didn't
bother me but I felt like helping the guys out, he was too tought sometimes, he had a good heart but he could come across like a
mean person when he actually was trying to do something good. I began to write, my emotions coming clear on paper, I needed to
express all my feelings for Joe, all of the things he was making me feel. When he came in I didn't noticed it.
"Much better now?"
"Yeah, much better, you didn't have to quit your practice"
"I was getting too anxious so it was better to stop"
"Maybe so"
"How is your writing coming along?"
"Good, I have inspiration and that is what I truly needed"
"Can I read something?"
"Sure, I don't know if I should include this poetry in the book I am writing about our live together", he didin't say anything, he got
the notebook and flipped throught the pages, that was my poetry book.


hey little boy
I want to make you
mine
show you the world
so take my hand.
the snow covered
mountains
are waiting for us
and lights of the
harbor can show
us the way back
home
to the shore
you love so much.
hey little boy
don't make my eyes
cry for you
just be around for
me
take me with you
to that place
nobody can find
us
right by the sea
where the seagulls
live
take my hand
don't ever leave
my sight.

Joe's eyes were filled with tears, I could see the emotion in his eyes, he looked at me and tried to smile.

Publication Date: 01-25-2011

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