When Words Heal - Maria Hanson (best large ebook reader TXT) 📗

In the beginning......she felt good.

Once upon a time there was a girl who felt good. She was so slender and slim and healthy - and ran and ran and walked and walked for miles and miles and always laughed and only wanted ever one thing in her life - just one - no riches - just to love and be loved because she felt there was nothing more priceless in the world. And in the village she lived in the girls bullied her and as she grew older they made her life a misery because she was different - because she had no 'side' and believed all people were good and while they got pregnant at 16 and smoked and sat outside the village pub - she carried on at school and didn't swear or drink or wear make up or any of the things they did so she grew in a secret place inside herself and made a fantasy land she lived in full of fairies and a prince. And one day a prince came - and he loved her because she was slim and fit and ran and walked and always laughed - but then when he had her - he put her in a tower because he hated that other men liked her - and hated that she just had to laugh and hug and make everyone feel special when she shouldn't do that any more. And she had two beautiful little fairy girls - and they filled her heart until she thought she would burst and thought she would have 100 children and run and laugh and picnic and all things wonderful and things were good. And she loved and was loved. And then - she became very ill - dangerously ill - and had to leave her little babies to go into hospial for a long time - and when she came out - she could have no more babies. And so it began -  the beginning of the end -  because surgery after surgery robbed her of the body she fought so hard to keep

In the middle.......................................

Because surgery after surgery robbed her of the body she fought so hard to keep after having her babies and the man whol loved her felt cheated and loved her no longer because he had only loved her with his eyes and hands - and when his eyes and hands were appalled at what they saw and felt the prince turned into a monster. And she lived in the despair that what simply housed who she was could cause all this pain and heartache - and while she bounced in and out of hospital to stay alive - and fretted and worried about her children being raised by her sisters - she spiralled into a dark place of absolute self hatred and would never look in a mirror. Until she met a new doctor who took over her case and performed miracles to keep her alive and then a miracle to put her back together again in her mind. He sat with her with two parcels - one all shiny paper and lots of bows and sparkles - and one brown paper. And he said those who see with their eyes will choose the shiny parcel but when they open it - the excitement will wane - because things that cause huge excitement - heady passionate love - expectaions of something very wonderful inside because the packing is wonderful will be diissapointed - because it doesn't last - it's fleeting - it's superficial and chosen because of what you saw with your eyes. If you choose the brown paper parcel - you have little expectaions of there being a wonderful amazing gift inside - and you have chosen because you looked with more than your eyes - and one day my dearest lady - someone will do that - or they may not - but you must believe that skin is just wrapping paper - a body is just that - no one ever sits and looks at a present and leaves it wrapped - they take off the wrapping to find what is inside - and you must carry these words close to your heart and always from this point afford all others the same - and learn to look with your heart and feel with your heart before you even see what others see - and then you will have seen much more. And take this and teach your children the same - and remember always - a thin and perfect body and the grave - or your heart and your core and who you are alive.

In the end....there is no end - there is only the inside out............

And so - she took those words and weaved spells with them. And her world was bright and light because she always saw more - she had magic powers because she always looked from the inside out. Because she found she had the brightest gift- she had life. Her wrapping paper was crumpled, creased - not so shiny - but it didn't matter because she had the biggest prize - she was she - her heart beat and she had life - and each day she woke up and realised that she was alive and this was her gift - to share her life. And the wisdom of those words.

She wrapped herself in the finest, clearest glass and let all think they knew her but they only looked with their eyes and hands - and knew her not at all. She took music into her soul and she danced in ways that those on a dance floor never could. She smelled the wind and rain and embraced the wind and raced against it in her soul and ran faster than anyone on a track could. She denied herself any expectations and became free because of it. She would always want and dream and desire - but it was a pilot light - not a full flame that could be cruelly extinguished. She would learn about love - that it must never be cruel, it must never be blackmail, it should never be words nor self consuming nor heat and mad and wild - but should be made of contentment and kindness - and that cherish was a much better word. Cherish each other.

And so her body turned into a vessel that she sailed in - to share all that she had learned and to glide over the waves of life - turbulant and calm - and spread out on the ripples of the waves the simple act of giving - and she found that as one had made a difference to her - she could make a difference to many. And she felt good.

Imprint

Text: Maria Hanson
Publication Date: 04-18-2013

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Dedication:
To all who have lost the belief in themselves - to those who grieve for something that was so brittle it turned to dust - to those who find the value of 'to cherish'.