A Fairy Long Night - Lenora Rodgers (funny books to read .txt) 📗

"You bring the money?”

“No, I didn’t bring the money!

YOU were supposed to bring the money!

My job is to hold the bag.”

“No, MY job is to hold the bag. YOUR job is to bring the MONEY!”

“Ugh! No wonder no one wants to work with you.”

The two fairy apprentices, hovering in the dark, looked at each other in disgust.

“Well, what are we going to do now? She’ll be here any minute and we’re not ready!”

“No problem. She always brings extra just in case. After this house, we’ll zip home, get the money, and beat her to the next stop.”

Zak and Zeke were not the brightest bulbs in the box but had been given this chance to prove themselves. The last two not picked for any team had ended up together.

This was the first stop of the night and they already had trouble. No one had to tell them what could happen if things went terribly wrong. Everyone is still talking about poor Sol whose story will live on in infamy.

Sol, the story goes, was busy talking on his fairy-fone while on the job, not paying attention and flew straight into a doorjamb tearing a gaping hole in one wing. This threw him off balance causing him to fly sideways around and around in a circle. When the blood rushed to his head, he upended and his fairy skirt dropped down over his head on the very night he was having his last pair of fairy bloomers cleaned. Well, let’s just say the mystery was over. The people from FNN (Fairy News Network) camped out on his doorstep for a month. He couldn’t even fly out to the mailbox without the Fairy-azzi flying underneath him trying to get a few good pics. Sol never flew again. At least not without a clean set of fairy bloomers on and certainly never for THE BOSS again.

The two looked down at the sleeping child. All of five years old, she had fine blonde hair that fell just below her shoulders, soft wispy bangs, and chubby cheeks. Dressed in her favorite Little Mermaid pajamas, she was lying on her right side…with a thumb in her mouth. The letters on the wall above her bed spelled out J-A-N-E-T.

“Aww, look at that precious little thing.” Said Zeke. “Isn’t that sweet, sucking her thumb?”

“That’s going to mess up her teeth. Hope they have good dental.” Answered Zak.

“Oh, stop! What do those letters say, you think?”

Zak sounded out the letters. “J…NET.” He said slowly. “Hey, maybe it’s like J-LO. Maybe she’s a rock star!”

“Nah, that can’t be right. I think its JANET. You know, with a short a.”

“Janet…” thought Zak. “Janet Jackson! I didn’t know Janet Jackson was five years old.”

Just then, there was a change in the air around them. It began to shimmer and vibrate.

“Quick, jump back! She’s coming! SHE’S COMING!!” Zeke grabbed his partner by the wing and pulled him back.

A small, white mist floated in the air over the bed and out of that mist appeared the most beautiful sight the two little apprentice fairies had ever seen. She was tiny in comparison to them. Soft, white, transparent wings fluttered behind a dazzling, tiny white gown. She, too, had blonde hair worn pulled up in a kind of twist which, to the two helpers, looked so very glamorous. She wore the tiniest pair of white fairy slippers they had ever seen and she had porcelain skin.

Zak and Zeke didn’t move, didn’t utter a sound. They were in awe. The only sound in the room was the sound of three sets of tiny fairy wings fluttering in the still air.

The TOOTH FAIRY quietly reached under the child’s pillow and pulled out a small baby tooth. She handed it toward Zeke who flew forward and held out a small, white satin drawstring bag. The TOOTH FAIRY dropped it in. Zeke pulled the drawstring tight and flew back into position. She then held out a delicate, carefully manicured, hand toward Zak for the money.

Zak hung his head and shifted from one wing to the other.

“I’m so sorry ma’am. I forgot to bring the money.” He said to her.

The TOOTH FAIRY looked at him with amused eyes. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the money she needed and placed it under the pillow. She then slowly fluttered down and placed a soft fairy kiss on the child’s forehead leaving a lipstick mark. Janet shifted in her sleep and a slight smile formed on her perfect kewpiedoll shaped lips. Comforted by the kiss, the thumb slowly pulled out of her mouth.

With that, the air shimmered and vibrated once again and POOF, the TOOTH FAIRY was gone.

Zak and Zeke let out the breaths they didn’t realize they had been holding and left for the next house…

“You bring the money?”

“No, I didn’t bring the money! YOU were supposed to bring the money! My job is to hold the bag…”

It had been another long night. This was their fifth house of the evening and they had ten more to go. THE TOOTH FAIRY seemed fresh as a daisy but THEIR

fairy wings were dragging.

The two not-so-smart apprentice fairies, and number one assistants to THE BOSS, had to be on their tiny toes every second. It was hard work. Zeke’s main job required him to hold the white, satin drawstring bag that held teeth removed from under pillows. Zak’s main job required him to carry the money that was placed under pillows after the teeth were removed. They had been appointed to their positions exactly one week ago and they STILL

had not managed to work out all the kinks.

There was the night Zeke accidentally caught the satin bag on a nail hanging from a child’s headboard, ripped a hole two inches wide and dropped tiny white baby teeth all over, and into, a white shag carpet. It took thirty minutes to find them all, holding up THE BOSS and throwing her totally off schedule. Zak had already forgotten the money on two nights and on a third, he brought the money but it was all in twenty dollar bills and THE BOSS didn’t have change. When that child awoke the next morning, she ran through the house, waving that twenty dollar bill in her sibling’s faces screaming, “THE TOOTH FAIRY LIKES ME BEST! THE TOOTH FAIRY LIKES ME BEST!”

Zeke sighed, “THE BOSS sure is tolerant of us.”

“Yeah, tolerant.” Agreed Zak.

“Tolerant.”

“Yep.”

“Zeke?”

“Uh huh?”

“What does “tolerant” mean anyway?”

“I don’t know but it’s a good word.” Answered Zeke.

“Yeah, good word.” Agreed Zak.

“Yep.”

The two helpers had arrived at the next house a few minutes ahead of THE BOSS as expected. They approached the child’s bed and when they looked down, Zak nearly choked on his chewing gum.

“Egad! What the heck is that creature?! A dinosaur?! Stand back!” He yelled.

“Stop yelling!” Yelled Zeke. “That’s just a basset hound. They’re supposed to be sweet dogs. Just don’t wake him up...and don’t get so close. Hounds have a powerful nose.”

Marshall, the sixty-five pound lemon and white basset hound in question, lay on his left side across the foot of the child’s bed. His bucket sized head off one side; his long tail hung off the other. Drool dripped out of his mouth, pooling on the floor below. He was in a deep, blissful, doggy dream sleep. All four paws wiggled as he chased butterflies in a field of clover.

“I like it when they land on my nose. C’mere butterflies!” Marshall galloped after them. There seemed to be so many today! Blue ones and brown ones and yellow ones! THE CHILD ran just ahead of him, laughing and swinging a small net. He was Marshall’s height and had a head full of blonde hair and large blue eyes with long lashes.

Marshall liked THE CHILD. He rubbed Marshall’s belly a lot and rode around on his back yelling “Horsey!” Suddenly, the field of clover disappeared and became something else. Marshall was standing on a raised platform in the middle of a big, round arena with THE WOMAN. He was being held on a small, thin, black leash. A strange MAN Marshall didn’t recognize was giving THE WOMAN a big blue ribbon that said BEST IN SHOW and PEOPLE were taking pictures of him, patting his head and smiling. Where did the butterflies go? He wondered. Then…

SNIFF…Marshall’s humongous hound dog nose twitched. SNIFF SNIFF…he opened his eyes and looked around. He didn’t recognize this smell. SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF…he looked up and saw a small, bright light hovering in the air just over the foot of the bed. As he raised his head, the light began to move away and separated into two lights.

“Frisbees!” Thought Marshall.

He scrambled to get his girth off the bed. He clawed at the bedspread and bounded onto the floor.

“GO, GO, GOOOOOO!” Screamed Zeke and the two little fairies took off. Zak hit his left wing on the wall as they rounded the door and flew into the hallway.

“OOWWWWWW!!”

“QUIT YOUR WHINING AND PUNCH IT!” Screamed Zeke again. They flew down the hallway with Marshall in slow, but hot pursuit, barking all the way, slobbers slinging.

“STAIRS, STAIRS!! GO DOWN, GO DOWN!!”

They made a quick right turn and took a set of stairs that led down…they had no idea where they were going. For all they knew, there could be other wild animals living in this house.

Marshall couldn’t quite make the sharp turn. As he flailed around trying to get his footing on the slick hardwood floor, his paws went out from under him and BAM! He landed on his right side and yelped. Boy, these Frisbees are fast! He thought.

He fought for traction and finally the pads of his paws stuck to the floor and he was hitting the stairs two at a time. He knew these stairs by