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What is a Gorf?


By Jack Ivey

It was the first day of school at Barnyard Elementary, and Freddie Frog was the most excited of all. He was up before the sun and dressed in his new school outfit which consisted of a red and white striped shirt and blue shorts.

He bounced around the kitchen as his mother prepared his breakfast.

“Freddie, calm down, you are going to make yourself sick,” said his mother.

“But Mom, I am too excited, I can’t wait. You remember what Miss Spider the teacher said about the name tag?”

“Yes I do, I have it right here,” she said as she picked up a small square piece of light blue construction paper that had the word “Frog” written on it in black magic marker. She proceeded to pin it on Freddie’s shirt with a safety pin.

“Thanks, Mom. Miss Spider said we would have to read our tags in front of the class. I am so excited.”

“Well, just settle down a bit and eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”

Freddie did just that and once he was finished he darted for the front door.

“One moment there Mister, aren’t you forgetting something?” questioned his mother as she leaned over towards Freddie.

“Oh yeah, almost forgot,” replied Freddie as he reached up and kissed his mom on the cheek. “Bye Mom, see you after school.”

His mother waved goodbye as he hopped down the front walkway and disappeared around the corner.

Freddie hopped along on his way to school. It was a nice day, but it had rained the day before. He was happy that the sun had come out for his first day at Barnyard Kindergarten. He continued on his way until he came upon a large puddle in the middle of the pathway to school. Well, being a frog, you can only guess what he did next. He jumped into the puddle and splashed around for a little bit before he got out and started off to school again, only now his new clothes were soaking wet and dripping as he hopped.

Freddie made it to school and took his seat in the middle of the classroom. He noticed that some of the other kids were giggling when they saw his wet clothing, but he didn’t care, this was his first day of school and he was happy. Just then the teacher called the class to order.

“Let’s quiet down children and get our day started. Pete, why don’t you come up to the front of the class and tell us your name and read your tag?"

Pete stepped to the front of the class and said, “Hi, my name is Pete and I am . . . ,” – and with that he looked down at the construction paper tag that was pinned to his shirt. “A pig.”

The class responded in unison, “Hi Pete!”

Corrine was next.

“Hello, my name is Corrine and I am a cow,” she said, looking down at her tag as well.

She received a similar response from the class. Each classmate took their turn based on where they sat. There was only a couple more before it was Freddie’s turn.

“Hi I am Cathy and I am a cat,” said the next little girl in line.

“My name is Bernard and I am a bird from Warbler Woods,” spoke a boy in a very elegant tone. The class welcomed him too.

Now it was Freddie’s turn and he happily hopped to the front of the class.
“Hi everybody, my name is Freddie.”

He looked down at his tag but was so excited that he did not realize that when he had been jumping around in the puddle, the tag his mother had pinned to his shirt had become all twisted up and the lettering had bled through the back of the paper. He reached for his tag and read what it said.

“And I am a Gorf.”

With that the entire classroom began laughing very loudly and pointed at Freddie.

“A Gorf?” shouted one of the kids. “What is a Gorf?”

“I’ve never met a Gorf before,” shouted another.

Freddie hopped out of the classroom in tears, and did not stop hopping until he got home and was in his room. His mother, hearing him come home, went to his room to find him crying on his bed.

“Freddie, dear, what is wrong? Why are you crying? What happened to your clothes?” she asked.

“Oh, Mommy, it was awful. All of the kids were teasing me and making fun of me and I was so embarrassed. I don’t ever want to go to school again,” he told her in between tears.

“Why would they tease you; these are all good kids that live around here and they know it is not nice to tease other children?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe they don’t like me,” he responded through his sniffles.

“All I did was read my tag and they started laughing and calling me names.”

His mother looked down and noticed the damp construction paper tag.

“Tell me what your tag says,” she asked.

Freddie took hold of his tag and said, “G-O-R-F, gorf.”

“And what happened to your clothes?” his mother inquired as she once again surveyed his wet and wrinkled outfit.

“Well, there was this puddle and I kind of jumped in, but only a little,” he answered.

“Only a little, huh? Well, your tag got wet and all turned around and you read the word 'Gorf' instead of 'Frog.' You should not have jumped in that puddle, Freddie. I am sure the kids all thought it was funny and were not teasing you at all,” offered his mother in a tone of voice that only a mother can use.

Just then there was a knock at the door. His mother went downstairs to answer it, and then called upstairs, “Freddie, come down here, someone wants to see you.”

Freddie hopped out of his bed and down the steps. Arriving at the front door he saw his teacher, Miss Spider, who said, “Freddie, please come back to school. The kids didn’t mean anything by their laughing. They weren’t teasing you, because they know teasing is not a nice thing to do, they just thought what you said was funny. But to tell you the truth, I think it is a very good spelling assignment, so today you can call me Miss Redips.”

She pointed to her own name tag, which Freddie could now see was turned around and her name was written backwards. Then, he saw all of the other kids on his front sidewalk as Pete jumped out and said, “Yeah come on Freddie, we think it’s cool. Look I am a Gip.”

“And I am a Woc,” added Corrine.

“Just call me a Tac, but don’t sit on me,” added Cathy, giggling at her new name.

“And I suppose if I must be, I am a Drib,” said Bernard, sounding a bit put out by all of it.

It was then that Freddie noticed that all of the kids had turned their tags around and had written what they were on them, backwards, just like his was. Freddie smiled up at his mother who said, “Go on, go back to school with all of your new friends. But stay out of puddles,” she added with a chuckle.

“And one more thing Mister, from now on you can call me . . .” she thought for a moment and then said . . . “Mom! That is what I am spelled backwards.”

With that everyone laughed.

“O.K. Mom, oops I mean Mom,” shouted Freddie as he hopped merrily down the sidewalk with the rest of the class.

Imprint

Text: Jack Ivey
Images: Jack Ivey
Editing: Valerie Byron
Publication Date: 12-28-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
Dedicated to every child in the world who has ever been teased, tormented or bullied

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