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It seemed so fragile in my hands, blood dripping slowly down its nose to its chin.
Its eyes, still open, but not blue like they had been.. They were black.

It was a dreary day this day, The clouds hung over the sky in a depressing manner, but.. No rain. I decided I would visit my friend, This friend was well known to me, and trusted. And his cat recently had a litter of kittens, too many for them to handle. Us only having one old cat decided we would help this friend, and picked up what seemed to be the best of the litter. This cat had a white face, and an orange coat. It had young innocent eyes pinched up to its nose. A playful kitten, of 7 weeks, long fur and white stripes heading down its legs and tail. This was the kitten we took home that afternoon.

I had always loved cats. But preceding this one I had only three as my pets. The first Merrybell, the oldest, is still alive. The second Topcat was run over by a car, and died slowly on the pavement. The third, scruffy was too wild for its own good, and ended up running away, only later to get captured by an old lady, de-clawed, and sentenced to a life of incarceration in a somber little house.

This cat, I wanted to be different, I wanted a cat that would love me. So I set out to grow close to this cat, and grow close we did. Only three days with this cat and I loved it far more than the twelve years I spent with the others. I named it Topcat, after the second cat, whom I also cared for.

The Third day was a sad day. Still no rain, but the clouds looked ready to burst. This day not only being sad, had also been quite boring, and I had a peculiar habit of leaning back in chairs when I became bored. I remember that day I came in from school and the cat instantly ran up to greet me. Its lovable face looked up at me, and I looked back down at it. Well, this cat also had a habit, It like many kittens also, would jump at anything that moved, This habit would effectively end its life. Later that night, I grew bored. I was leaning back in a rather heavy chair, this chair was old, and had thick legs, and I kept leaning, farther and farther back until Thump! I came down with full force forwards on the chairs frontal legs. Then a thought occurred, “Dear god im glad the cat wasn’t under it.” Being only a young adult I did not contemplate the affect my negligence would have on this cat. And being only a young kitten this cat did not contemplate the affect the chair would have on it.

I peeked my head over the side of the chair just to make sure, and to my horror I found the cats body, shaking under the leg, First thought that entered my mind, okay, hes alright I just got his paw, but I was sorely wrong. I lifted the chair immediately, and again to my horror the cat continued shaking uncontrollably all around the floor. At this moment I flashed back to a childhood memory, when a cat was run over in front of me, It too went into a seizure like frenzy, and at that moment I knew it was dead. Instantly a pain hit my heart.“Noooooooooooooooooo!” I buried my face in the couch, I could not look.. And I continued to yell. “Nooooooooooooo!” I repeated. My father, picked up the cat, and curled it into a little ball, and it became calm.

The cat then felt warm, and then comfort. My dad petted the cat, and continued to hold it to his chest. A breif flashback of all the cats memorys, and perhaps, even happiness…. The cat thought, its okay.. I can go to sleep now.. I can finally rest… The cats eyes remained open, but everything still grew darker, its pupils dilated, and the cold grip of death crawled up its body, and then…Rain

My father buried the cat in the yard, and for many days afterward I felt pain for the cat that I killed. An innocent young kitten, it had never done anything to hurt me, and I felt as if I betrayed it. I realize however that its just a cat. That day I only got a taste of the sadness death brings to people, its an inescapable feeling of dread, for which nothing can help, except time.

Today I am no longer haunted by the pain that cats death brought me, There was rain yesterday, but it was sunny today. it’s a new day, and I learnt a valuable lesson from that cat. Slowly time will pass, and the pain will fade, and behind the clouds of this rainy day, is sunshine.

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Publication Date: 09-23-2009

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