this is me trying to be honest with myself - Justine Espiritu (dark books to read TXT) 📗

I’ll start to sincerely clean my car when there’s no more books to read, when there’s no one that deserves a letter, when I don’t find something I lost that I was intending to make something with for you. I’ll finish putting away my clothes when I don’t find something that I took from my sister that starts me writing and putting on music now that I’ve got the past on my mind. Why put effort into pretending I’m organized and neat, and presentable, when there’s people calling about poker, when there’s miles to run, when you could make popcorn?

I’m dissatisfied. Never settle for less than the ultimate? The sexiest move to sustain my interest: he came back in to give me a book. Investigative reporting on American farm policies and the USDA. But he has really big muscles and probably cant surf with them and left Hawaii for southern California. How could our principles be compatible? Ione. 60 years old. He has a 20 acre noni farm he’s cleared of overgrown weeds, grasses, and trees. Alone. He’s brown and strong and driven. A wise and humble confidence. How many frogs, how many boys, until I find an Ione?

She just bought a one-way ticket to Thailand and wants me there. When she lived in London, we met up to drink on the beach for a week in Barcelona. We dream-lived together hitchhiking across Kauai and biking in Peru. At 18 we took separate paths towards higher education and inner peace. In Hawaii I found surfing and an accidental Masters degree. She left for LA then London, pretended to take work seriously but really just spent the years drinking coffee and working somewhere long enough to get her next plane ticket. Free bird. You’ll never see her standing still.

Publication Date: 09-08-2010

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