A New Path - Lilly W. (fun to read txt) 📗

My Life

Always live life to the fullest.

That’s what they say you should do. They live by it, they encourage other people to live by it. But the problem with that it those people is that they already have lived the life they want to live. And now they tell other people to live like them; to the fullest. Oh yes, just spend all of your time trying to live the fullest and greatest life ever.

Don’t worry about the small things, like family and friends. Well, it’s not like that matters to me anyway since I don’t have any of those. They live by that, but I have learned to live by another rule. Because life at Morro Bay sometimes isn't as nice as it seems.

Learn to live in misery, and always fight back.

I’ve not always been like this, I’ve just learned to live by a saying just like a lot of people do. It is my life saying the thing that has kept my from falling apart completely. But when you get as low as I am you learn that you can’t get any lower.

When the people around me started to not care about me, I guess I did the same. That’s the way that it has been, ever since mother died. Back then I could cope with my surroundings. I could push past them and look at the things that really mattered; family and school. I was a straight A student, and now I would be lucky to get a report that doesn’t have the enitial for failure.

It’s not like my dad cares anyway, or my brother Tod. Most of the time my dad is at home parting with his girls and my brother is living with his girlfriend. But they are one of the same, potheads. And now at school I am labeled the future pothead. You see, when Mother died my dad lost it and Tod followed suit. I never tried pot, but I have been drunk before. That was the first and last time I ever touched a drink.

A year ago, when I was 16, I came home and my dad was having one of his parties and somehow I forgot to go through the back door like I always do. I walked in and instantly realized my mistake, to late. I tried to turn around but felt a hand pull me back in.

I turned to see the face of my father.

“Hey, Mia” He looked around him and grabbed a beer off the table. “Here you go, you should loosen up a bit” I could smell the beer on his breath.

“Ummm, ok” I took the beer from him popped the top. And chugged. Hey, how bad could it be anyway?

News flash, that was the worst idea ever. After I had chugged 3, i think, wait no 4 I lost track of everything. I got so drunk that all I could remember the next morning was my dad’s face looking at me before I took that beer.

Things come back to me now and then, flashes of colors and boys. But the thing I remember most was waking up and getting sick all over the sheets, the headaches and how I felt like crap. And the next morning I also realized that the beer wasn't even that good. Good thing I didn’t try any drugs.

At the time my Mother had only been dead for two years. She would have killed me before the drugs anyway. That’s the way she was, fiercely protective and also hole hearted. To bad that hole hardness didn’t pass to Tod. For he is one of the worst people I know and I have to go to school full of Heartless haters.

But even before the mom left he has been like that. So when father lost it, he jumped at the opportunity to drop out of school and be a dope. He is two years older than me, so he was out of school when he was 17. It’s not like I care anyway the only time that I talk to him is when he tries to get me to do drugs or hook up with one of his friends.

Even though I’ve told him no a million times he still can’t seem to understand that he is not in charge of me and he will not get me to be like him. I may be a dork and ugly troll, but I will not just throw myself away like garbage. I have thought about it, but I decide to live, for my mom. I will try in school. I will try to get friends.

Oh great, here I am again saying that I will try to live and do school and everything like that. I’ve been over this over and over. But the truth is that I have tried, I gave it a chance for three years. I tired to the best of my ability to get good grades. But the friend part?

No way. Not happening.

Even if I did try I would fail miserably. And look at that I would yet again get another ridiculous nickname and be teased as the friendless juniour. Come on, what juniour doesn't at least have one friend. Well I guess one person, me, Mia Meth as the people call me at school. But my actual name is Mianna Mavis, something that I am not proud of.

But who would be? Who would want a name like that? Not me, no wonder I’m the class failure. No wait, the school failure.

But it’s not like the kids at school care if I actually do any drugs or not. All they care about is whether or not I’m liked by other people. When I was in Middle school and my mom was alive I was liked, I had lost of friends. And then the accident happened. It wasn't about my mom it was about my dad, like I said he lost it.

And when he did he made a bad impression of himself and that went to me. At first people were still my friend and then dad went to jail. It went downhill from there, they just left. Well not exactly, during the summer they all decided that they didn’t want to be around me. And that was the end to any of the friendships that I have ever had.

        Now It’s been over three years and the haters never stop. Sometimes I think about just quitting. But that was not what mom wanted for me. That’s the only thing that has kept me going.

      

 

Lost Chance

 In a two weeks I start school. The haters will be waiting, like they always are. So far this summer I have accomplished my one goal, never give in. Sometimes I don’t know why I care about anything. I don’t know why I try. Why I live.

      All summer for me was spent at the library and in my room. No matter what day it was I could not get away from my dad, or Tod. All summer they were parting. Sometimes they would try to involve me, but it always ends the same way.

       They also make fun of me for being at the library all the time. But the truth is I actually like to read. I just don’t like to learn. I can’t focus in school, not like I want to anyway. It’s just the teachers are so annoying and have to give us an overload on homework. Good thing I don’t do it anyway.

        “Hey” I hear over the sound of my music. I look up and see a new face and am instantly annoyed.

        “What?” I say as I pull my earbuds out.

        “Sorry…...it’s just that I’m new here”

         Like that’s not obvious.  I take her in. She has blond hair that goes to her mid back, she is short. Well compared to my height of 5’8. She looks about 5’2. I can already tell that she is one of those people that talk way too much. Ugh.

       “Ok” I say trying not to yell at her for interrupting me.

       “Do you go to Stanford” I want to run at the mention of my dreadful school.

      “Yeah, why?” Can’t she go away.

      “What grade?” She looks almost hopeful, great.

      “Does it matter?” I look at her as she sits down across from me.

     “Yes, because I will be going to that school to” She looks a little less optimistic.

     “Cool” She lets out a long breath, seeing that she is getting nowhere.

     “I will leave you alone if you tell me”

      That was not what I expected her to say. Wow, that surprised me.

      “Fine I’m a junior” I sigh.

      “Really, me too.” At that she looks happy. Bursting with happiness.

      “Why are you talking to me?” Pop, just like that all of her happiness leave her.  

      “What do you mean?” She looked truly troubled, that’s nice.

      “I mean, out of everybody you could talk to. You decide to talk to me.Why?” I look at her in the eyes as I say this.

      “Because you look like a nice person” I bursted out laughing at that, and instantly stopped when I saw that she was serious.

      “Your kidding right?”

       She looks down and continues.

       “No, and I don’t see why you have to ask me that.” She stands up and I see that I have made her mad, she has that look in her eye’s. “ Sorry for interrupting your busy schedule.” She is about to walk away and then she look’s back.

       “Oh, and just so you know, the world does not revolve around you. Nobody likes people that pity themselves.” With that she is gone just as fast as she came.

        Just like that the only chance I had to make a friend was gone.  

        It’s not like I had a chance any way.

     

Disruption

When I got sick of the library about an hour later I go to the beach. I got a bag of chips and a mountain dew form the gas station and head to the beach.

         Was I self centered? Was I self pitying?

         People must think so.

         Actually no. Because that was the only person. And she was new. She had no idea of what I did. And I blew it, great. Come to think about it she was nice and was not one of those annoying people. Ugh. That makes it even worse.

          I sit on one of the benches and munch on my chips.