A Kiss So Dark - 1 1 (best motivational books to read TXT) 📗

I walked slowly down the street, hoping with everything in me, every fiber of my being that he wouldn't be there. He was everything to me, yet I wished to see him with a bullet thrusted into his cruel and pathetic body. Though if he heard me call him that. I'd surely be dead. He had ruined me. Yes, I had been nothing when he found me. But what he did. I would have been better off in the streets. Cold, alone, striving for my next fix of anything.

I felt the ground vibrate and I ignored the cat calls of the men in the cars next to me. It was something that not only happened everyday but I was used too. I mumbled a prayer under my breath before I opened the door to the restaurant. I walked to the back glaring at whoever gave me the pity filled stares. I grabbed a water and kept moving. If I was late it would be worse. At that thought my eyes went wide and I walked faster to the back door, walking into the ally alone. I heard the music clearly and I hurried to the door with my small bag. The men merely moved to the side, letting me walk in. I looked at the ground, and walked around and through the waves and sea of people. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and I stopped. The music was no longer playing. My blood stopped in my veins and I went rock still. He never came to these. He was going to do it again. But, I wasn't scared of the beating I knew I would have. No, I was scared of the feelings that would come back. The unmistakable attraction and lustful feelings he ignited in me. But he could also ignite fear in my very core. He could paralyze me with it, choke and drowned me. And I would succumb to it at his very command. His aura of dominance and pride. He had the air of a King. No, a dark knight. People quake with fear at his very sight.

That's because he has the power to make them afraid.

Suddenly the music was booming again and the crowd was loud and obnoxious. Still full of rich men with disgusting habits. "Are you alright, Tavia?" I knew that voice and I let out a breath of relief and turned. "What did I say about my name?" I said although I was serious, I was relived it wasn't him. "That you hate it. And I should let you know that you are bumped up. Two." I gasped loudly and hurried to the back, smashing into a few random people. They cursed as there drinks toppled over but I couldn't care less. I burst into the room and dropped the bag and took off my jacket. I sat down on the hard marble.

The thoughts that hit me every night didn't fail me tonight. If he comes tonight what will he say? Will his face still have the scruff that I had always rubbed? Will the white Armani suit be in place, or the midnight black Ravazzollo one? Would his eyes hold desire like they once had? No, they'd hold hate. They'd hold power as he would laugh in his victory of holding me as his trophy. 

His property.

His possession.

His entirely.

I wanted to feel him writhe in pain and pleasure at my hands yet I didn't know which one I wanted more. Flashbacks invaded my mind. The horrid things. They were reminders of the lies he breed and then feed me. I felt anger plush in my veins harshly and I wanted nothing more then to go back to the little shoe box of an apartment. At least I could call that my own.

He doesn't care.

And that last thought had me jumping up and sending my fist into the shiny clean mirror, shattering it. The glass barely cut me and I just hit again even though it was concrete. I let out the anger I felt. But it wasn't enough. Even as I pictures it his face, it wasn't the same. I slumped down the wall, my blonde hair was all over the place. I felt the tears brim my eyes. But they wouldn't fall. He had branded me as his. And what was his wasn't weak enough to succumb to the lonely level of tears. So I sniffled and stood, walking to a mirror I threw my hair into a tight bun and before I put on the face I held with determination. Determination to never let them know I was hurt, broken, torn. I walked to the door and swung it open. I stepped out my sneaker clad feet walked out at a steady pace. I walked into the room with Jules and a few others. They all smiled and waved me over. I let a careless smile flutter on to my lips. "Are you ready? You're up soon." My eyes wandered in there own to Trey and I smiled. I went to answer but a voice I knew all to well answered for me.

I was standing with my back to the door but I knew that voice. Everyone one was stiff. "Of course she is." My eyes fluttered as though I was about to pass out but I stayed stiff and still.

"Did you miss me, Tavia." I wouldn't let him know I was succumbing to him. I wouldn't let him know I was torn between loving or hating him. So I turned, my face blank.

He was in his Armani suit. His gold Rolex in place along with his cruel smirk. I hated him but I loved him. I hated that I loved him. I hated that I fell for the smirk the messy dirty blonde hair and the vibrant green eyes. I hated that I fell for the Rolex and suit. But mostly I hate that I fell for him.

"Well Tavia did you miss me." He said with a chuckle. I just stood there. Frozen. Paralyzed.

"I missed you. Your purplish blue eyes. Your blonde hair that is so curly long. Longer then when you left."I cut him off, ignoring the same part of brain yelling for me not too. "I didn't leave, you put me here to sell as yours." I spat and his hand swung out and hit my face and I just let my head whip to the side I felt blood gush into my mouth. He was that strong, all he had to do was smack me and my mouth gushed blood. I felt the blood coat my teeth and my mouth. I spat the blood out and one of his body guards tensed. I smiled showing him my bloody teeth.

"To answer your question," I paused and got close. "I missed you. But the old one not this one. This one can rot in the depths of hell for all I care." I said and was received another smack but harder. Most girls would be crying but I had to be tough after all he trained me. I never showed pain never cried, yelled, pleaded or begged. "Fine want to play that way we can do that way all you like." His eyes were cold and hard. I was at his mercy, on my knees in front of him. Just the way he liked it. I ran my tongue over my bloodied teeth before spitting it out harshly at his shiny shoes. I would show him he broke me but not fully. He took me off the streets, but I was still innocent. Now that purity I once held was in his hands. He stole it. Robbed it like a greedy thief. He would know that I hated him. Because I'm sure he already knew that some pathetic part of me loved him. Some dysfunctional part of me did. "Don't fight the devil if you don't know if you can win." His smirk was wide showing his white teeth. With that he stood and walked out.

I felt the others let out a breath. I stood and nodded to the others before walking out into the hallway. I walked to the bathroom and cleaned off the blood on my face and in my mouth. The metallic taste was disgusting yet I knew I would be taste a bit more tonight

I walked around waiting with Jules before someone came in

"You're up Tav." Tom, on of the guards said and I nodded walking out with Jules. The crowd yelled over and over as I walked up. I seen my opponent as I walked up the steps of the cage. I shook my head and hands out and smiled at her even though my mouth guard was in. As cruel as this will sound I couldn't wait to kick her ass. I loved the fight. I loved the adrenaline I felt in my veins as I made them bleed. The cage was the one place I felt good and complete.

The ref yelled for us to fight and she charged. I moved out of the way and smiled at her. "Come on now, I heard you were the best," I said and I hit her in the jaw hard knocking her to the ground and I kicked her in her stomach. "But, that was after I left." I said and kicked her harder in the face. I lifted my leg to kick her, but she grabbed it and dragged me down. She got on top of me and she hit me repeatedly. I grinned in my mind as she hauled me up. she thought she had this in the bag. She punched me in my stomach and I fell to my knees and she used that and kicked my sending me into the cage wall. I sat there and then I turned over and laid there. Well I should add a little touch of me. She kicked me in the face but I didn't move and she looked pissed I felt the blood gush in my mouth and I smiled showing her my bloody teeth and letting my blood that was mixed with my saliva drip down my face. I got up and hit her in the throat.

No rules.

I grabbed her and brought her face down to my knee at least three times. She fell back and I seen the blood gush out of her nose and mouth. I smiled big and the crowd thought I had won. My smile fell. I had to finish this. I kept reminding myself 'Her or me. Her or me' She grabbed me and we rolled around attempting to lock one another. She had landed a few good hits and my vision was being invaded by black spots. She had my head locked in her arms hitting me in the face and I felt my blood run down my face. I started to freak but as I looked over I seen Jules. She yelled to me. "Flip her!" And that's what I did. With the energy I thought was gone I flipped her over my shoulder and got her head in between my legs she was struggling but I got it. I looked to Jules but she looked away. I looked to Sebastian for conformation and he nodded and I quickly snapped her neck in my legs. I kept eye contact the whole time I stood and walked out.

This was me. A killer.

Even though I don't like it, I'm still a killer. When he gave me the nod, I didn't hesitate or think. Just a quick motion and she was dead. But as his prized fighter that's what I was trained to do. No thinking just doing. The hard training. The unspoken threats. He knew I'd never take a life before the way