The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane - Alain René le Sage (best fiction books of all time .txt) 📗

their residences in natural caves, others in artificial

dwellings under-ground, like this we are in. In process of time,

when by the blessing of Providence they had driven their enemies

out of Spain, they returned to the towns. From that time forth

their retreats have served as a rendezvous for the gentlemen of

our profession. It is true that several of them have been

discovered and destroyed by the holy brotherhood: but there are

some yet remaining; and, by great good luck, I have tenanted this

without paying any rent for it almost these fifteen years:

Captain Rolando, at your service! I am the leader of the band;

and the man you saw with me is one of my troopers.

 

CH. V. — The arrival of the banditti in the subterraneous

retreat, with an account of their pleasant conversation.

 

JUST as Captain Rolando had finished his speech six new faces

made their appearance in the hall; the lieutenant and five

privates returning home with their booty. They were hauling in

two great baskets full of sugar, cinnamon, pepper, figs, almonds,

and raisins. The lieutenant gave an account of their proceedings

to the captain, and told him they had taken these articles, as

well as the sumpter-mule, from a grocer of Benavento. An official

report having thus been made to the prime-minister, the grocer’s

contribution was carried to account; and the next step was to

regale after their labours. A large table was set out in the

hall. They sent me back to the kitchen, where dame Leonarda told

me what I had to do. I made the best of a bad bargain, finding

the luck ran against me; and, swallowing my grievances, set

myself to wait on my noble masters.

 

I cleaned my plate, set out my sideboard, and brought up my wine.

As soon as I announced dinner to be on table, consisting of two

good black peppery ragouts for the first course, this high and

mighty company took their seats. They fell too most voraciously.

My place was to wait; and I handed about the glasses with so

butler-like an air, as to be not a little complimented on my

dexterity. The chief entertained them with a short sketch of my

story, and praised my parts. But I had recovered from my mania by

this time, and could listen to my own panegyric with the humility

of an anchorite or the contempt of a philosopher. They all seemed

to take a liking to me, and to think I had dropped from the

clouds on purpose to be their cup-bearer. My predecessor was a

fool to me. Since his death, the illustrious Leonarda had the

honour of presenting nectar to these gods of the lower regions.

But she was now degraded, and I had the felicity of being

installed in her office. Thus, old Hebe being a little the worse

for wear, young Ganymede tripped up her heels.

A substantial joint of meat after the ragouts at length blunted

the edge of their appetites. Eating and drinking went together:

so that they soon got into a merry pin, and made a roaring noise.

Well done, my lads! All talkers and no listeners. One begins a

long story, another cuts a joke; here a fellow bawls, there a

fellow sings; and they all seem to be at cross purposes. At last

Rolando, tired of a concert in which he could hardly hear the

sound of his own voice, let them know that he was maestro di

capella, and brought them into better tune. Gentlemen, said he, I

have a question to put. Instead of stunning one another with this

infernal din, had we not better enjoy a little rational

conversation? A thought is just come into my head. Since the

happy day that united us we have never had the curiosity to

inquire into each other’s pedigrees, or by what chain of

circumstances we were each of us led to embrace our present way

of life. There would be no harm in knowing who and who are

together. Let us exchange confidence: we may find some amusement

in it. The lieutenant and the rest, like true heroes of romance,

accepted the challenge with the utmost courtesy, and the captain

told the first story to the following effect: — Gentlemen, you

are to know that I am the only son of a rich citizen in Madrid.

The day of my birth was celebrated in the family by rejoicings

without end. My father, no chicken, thought it a considerable

feat to have got an heir, and my mother was kind enough to suckle

me herself. My maternal grandfather was still living: a good old

man, who did not trouble himself about other people’s concerns,

but said his prayers, and fought his campaigns over and over

again; for he had been in the army. Of course I was idolized by

these three persons; never out of their arms. My early years were

passed in the most childish amusements, for fear of hurting my

health by application. It will not do, said my father, to hammer

much learning into children till time has ripened their

understanding. While he waited for this ripening, the season went

by. I could neither read nor write: but I made up for that in

other ways. My father taught me a thousand different games. I

became perfectly acquainted with cards, was no stranger to dice,

and my grandfather set me the example of drawing the long bow,

while he entertained me with his military exploits. He sung the

same songs repeatedly one after another every day; so that when,

after saying ten or twelve lines after him for three months

together, I got to boggle through them without missing, the whole

family were in raptures at my memory. Neither was my wit thought

to be at all less extraordinary; for I was suffered to talk at

random, and took care to put in my oar in the most impertinent

manner possible. O the pretty little dear! exclaimed my father,

as if he had been fascinated. My mother made it up with kisses,

and my grandfather’s old eyes overflowed. I played all sorts of

dirty and indecent tricks before them with impunity; everything

was excusable in so fine a boy: an angel could not do wrong.

Going on in this manner, I was already in my twelfth year without

ever having a master. It was high time; but then he was to teach

me by fair means: he might threaten, but must not flog me. This

arrangement did me but little good; for sometimes I laughed when

my tutor scolded: at others, I ran with tears in my eyes to my

mother or my grandfather, and complained that he had used me ill.

The poor devil got nothing by denying it. My word was always

taken before his, and he came off with the character of a cruel

rascal. One day I scratched myself with my own nails, and set up

a howl as if I had been flogged. My mother ran, and turned the

master out of doors, though he vowed and protested he had never

lifted a finger against me.

 

Thus did I get rid of all my tutors, till at last I met with one

to my mind. He was a bachelor of Alcala. This was the master for

a young man of fashion. Women, wine, and gaming, were his

principal amusements. It was impossible to be in better hands. He

hit the right nail on the head: for he let me do what I pleased,

and thus got into the good graces of the family, who abandoned me

to his conduct. They had no reason to repent. He perfected me

betimes in the knowledge of the world. By dint of taking me about

to all his haunts, he gave such a finish to my education, that

barring literature and science, I be came an universal scholar.

As soon as he saw that I could go alone in the high road to ruin

he went to qualify others for the same journey.

During my childhood I had lived at home just as I liked, and did

not sufficiently consider, that now I was beginning to be

responsible for my own actions. My father and mother were a

standing jest. Yet they were themselves thrown into convulsions

at my sallies; and the more ridiculous they were made by them,

the more waggish they thought me. In the mean time I got into all

manner of scrapes with some young fellows of my own kidney; and,

as our relations kept us rather too short of cash for the

exigencies of so loose a life, we each of us made free with

whatever we could lay our hands on in our own families. Finding

this would not raise the supplies, we began to pick pockets in

the streets at night. As ill luck would have it, our exploits

came to the knowledge of the police. A warrant was out against

us; but some good-natured friend, thinking it a pity we should be

nipped in the bud, gave us a caution. We took to our heels, and

rose in our vocation to the rank of highwaymen. From that time

forth, gentlemen, with a blessing on my endeavours, I have gone

on till I am almost the father of the profession, in spite of the

dangers to which it is exposed.

 

Here the captain ended, and it came to the turn of the

lieutenant. Gentle men, extremes are said to meet; — and so it

will appear from a comparison of our commander’s education and

mine. My father was a butcher at Toledo. He passed, with reason,

for the greatest brute in the town, and my mother’s sweet

disposition was not mended by the example. In my childhood, they

whipped me in emulation of one another; I came in for a thousand

lashes of a day! The slightest fault was followed up by the

severest punishment. In vain did I beg for mercy with tears in my

eyes, and protest that I was sorry for what I had done. They

never excused me, and nine times out of ten flogged me for

nothing. When I was under my father’s lash, my mother, not

thinking his arm stout enough, lent her assistance, instead of

begging me off. The favours I received at their hands gave me

such a disgust, that I quitted their house before I had completed

my fourteenth year, took the Arragon road, and begged my way to

Saragossa. There I associated with vagrants, who led a merry life

enough. They taught me to counterfeit blindness and lameness, to

dress up an artificial wound in each of my legs, and to adopt

many other methods of imposing on the credulity of the charitable

and humane. In the morning, like actors at rehearsal, we cast our

characters, and settled the business of the comedy. We had each

our exits and our entrances; till in the evening the curtain

dropped, and we regaled at the expense of the dupes we had

deluded in the day. Wearied, however, with the company of these

wretches, and wishing to live in more worshipful society, I

entered into partnership with a gang of sharpers. These fellows

taught me some good tricks: but Saragossa soon became too hot to

hold us, after we had fallen out with a limb of the law, who had

hitherto taken us under his protection. We each of us provided

for ourselves, and left the devil to take the hindmost. For my

part, I enlisted in a brave and veteran regiment, which had seen

abundance of service on the king’s highway: and I found myself so

comfortable in their quarters, that I had no desire to change my

birth. So that you see, gentlemen, I was very much obliged to my

relations for their bad behaviour; for if