God Who Cares? (Atheist) - DeYtH Banger, VeNgeR GrEenTag (feel good books .txt) 📗

And if not, a pamphlet, a couple of well placed fire-balls, for crying out loud. This is the Supreme Being we’re talking about, who whacks Sodom and Gomorrah and turns Lot’s wife to salt and Hitler doesn’t get so much as a twisted ankle? It seems a little suspicious to me.”







It becomes obvious, then, that the Bible is far from the writings of an omniscient, super-intellectual being, but rather the often incoherent rants of a few violent, self-serving, nomadic Middle Eastern yokels, who created these writings, with not only the intention of explaining the inexplicable but also for the moral justifications of slavery, subjugation of women and domination of neighboring societies to steal their land, rape their women and plunder their treasures.





Who better to put this all into some realm of reality than the great late comedian Mr. George Carlin?







“When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises

and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ‘til the end of time! But He loves you."



- C.J. Werlem

 

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?









Then he is not omnipotent.









Is he able, but not willing?









Then he is malevolent.









Is he both able and willing?









Then whence cometh evil?









Is he neither able nor willing?









Then why call him God?







‘God’ and ‘evil’ in the one sentence surely challenges the public relations spin of God being a loving, just, peace-endorsing heavenly father. With ‘spoiler alert’ disclaimer up front, this examination will ultimately lead you to one of the following two conclusions, that either

God is just a creation of man’s imagination or,





God is an evil bastard.





Be assured that my caricature of the celestial cloud merchant is not just something that I have grasped on my own, as much smarter men than I contend similar. Take Richard Dawkins’, biologist and author of God Delusion, depiction of God from chapter two of his book."

- C.J. Werlam

 

 

"“The Christian God is a being of terrific character — cruel, vindictive, capricious and unjust.”







Now, if your knowledge of the Bible is confined to the religious preacher sound bites, then I am sure the aforementioned quotations from Messrs. Dawkins and Jefferson come as a bit of a shock. But I dare anyone to come up with a better personality profile of the God of Abraham having read the Bible from Genesis right through to Revelations. This God created by the Hebrews is far removed from the propaganda spun by priests, pastors and popes, who use these pithy sound bites of ‘love thy neighbor’ and ‘do unto others’, or ‘turn the other cheek’ as means of packaging Christianity for sale. The Biblical reality is that this particular God will smote you for working on the wrong day; wearing the wrong clothes; sex with the wrong person; thought crimes such as wanting a new car, a new boat, or a holiday; complaining about a lack of food; complaining about the quality of the food; eating the wrong food; occupying land allotted for his ‘chosen’ people; talking back to your parents; questioning authority; looking back to see his destruction of a city; breaking the rules for owning or buying slaves; and ultimately hates you for not being an Israelite, to name but a few. He truly punctuates the air with far more reasons to hate the human condition than love it."

- C.J. Werlam

 

 

"They are able to do all of this without a sky-god to watch over them, without the benefit of a book written 4000 years ago by other chimpanzees. With this in mind, why do Christians, Muslims and Jews continue the self-loathing and self-doubting assertion that the Bible forms the framework for human morality? Laughable isn’t it? Like the chimps, we have a mutual investment and moral empathy in ensuring that perpetrators of deeds that cause harm to us are ultimately isolated from us, whether by imprisonment or ostracization. The reality-show ‘Survivor’ makes a dim-witted case in point for this dynamic. Watch any elimination episode and it is primarily those individuals that offer no altruistic value to the tribe, whether physically or politically, who are sent home for an early shower..."

- C.J. Werlam

"“A cranky old bastard”, in a heated teen-angst moment? And if we are picking and choosing the
laws worthy of following, then aren’t we playing God ourselves? Furthermore, if we accept that it is barbaric in the 21st century to sell our daughters into slavery, then it is evident that morals, like everything else in the human experience, evolve. Resulting in the conclusion that moral evolution is at the behest of man and not by God.





Further, if belief in God were inextricably tied to morality then it would be fair to assume that statistical, analytical or anecdotal data would demonstrate that societies with a higher degree of religiosity would be safer places to live, as those citizens abided by the moral code prescribed by the respective religion."

- C.J. Werlam

" Marduk’s sacred animals are horses, dogs and a dragon with a forked tongue……and when we will want to relearn that premarital sex is a sin? Or that adulteresses should be stoned to death?

“Do you think that, if you were granted omnipotence and omniscience and millions of years in which to perfect your world, you could produce nothing better than the Ku Klux Klan or the Fascists?”







Bertand Russell (London, 1927"


- C.J. Werlam

"Genesis is the first book of the Bible of Judaism and Christianity, and the first of five books of the Pentateuch or Torah. It recounts Judeo-Christian beliefs regarding the world, from creation to the descent of the children of Israel into Egypt, and contains some of the best-known stories of the Old Testament, including Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah’s Ark, the Tower of Babel and the biblical Patriarchs.





For Jews the theological importance of Genesis centers on the covenants linking God to his Chosen People and the people to the Promised Land. Christianity..."


- C.J. Werlam

Comedy: Bible *New (2)

 

By VeNgeR GrEenTag

 

 

"The very first sentence of Genesis and therefore the Bible states:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1 NIV

 

That’s it! Doesn’t tell us how he made it; what building materials were used; if any of the work was outsourced to India; or from where he sourced the materials. The Bible’s explanation of the creation of the universe is paramount to the smart-ass kid in the classroom telling you, “It just is and you wouldn’t understand it even if I told you anyway!” Imagine how confusing the creation of the universe by the Hebrew God 6,000 years ago must have been to the Sumerians as they watched on from their huts drinking beer, and using glue. Wait. What?

 

 

 

 

 

The next time someone says there is still a debate between our modern cosmological understanding of the universe versus the..."

 

- C.J. Werlam

 

 

 

"The remainder of the opening sentence of Genesis continues:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.” (Genesis 1:2 NIV)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, the question becomes what was God doing with himself leading up to that time? Sitting idle in the formless empty darkness? How long was he sitting on his ass flicking between channels waiting for

something interesting to watch? Did he..."

 

 

- C.J. Warlem

 

 

 

"...this extraordinarily lengthy hiatus. Evidently, he was indeed content with floating around in the dark until, all of a sudden, he says to himself, “Fuck it, I want to create a planet, a heaven, some people and sit back and watch them destroy each other in my honor because Monday Night Football is still 6,000 years away."

 

- C.J. Werleman

 

 

 

"I find it excessively humorous that God made light out of nothing, on the second day, which means he made the heavens and the earth in the dark! Now, if creating everything we know out of nothing wasn’t a challenge enough, he did it in complete darkness. Pretty impressive, isn’t it? I can’t even write my own name in the dark, let alone create a fucking great big shark.

 

 

 

 

 

God Messes Up The Order

 

 

 

 

 

Irrefutably, the total balls up of the Genesis order of events is the smoking gun for demonstrating that God is the figure of 2000 BC man’s imagination, but in keeping"

 

- C.J. Werleman

 

 

 

"God created light and darkness on day one and the sun and the planets didn’t appear until day four, according to the scripture. So where did the light come from? No sun, no light. Oops!

 

 

 

 

 

On day three he creates all the earth’s vegetation, the plants and the trees, but we now know God didn’t create the sun until the following day, so how can there be plant life without photosynthesis? Oops!

 

 

 

 

 

Now we run into our very first contradiction, and we are only on page one of the Bible mind you, as God says that on day five he created the birds and animals from nothing more than the water from the oceans, but then in the very next chapter, as he is doing a summary of these heady seven days, it is written:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the land and all the birds of the air.” (Genesis 2:19 NIV)"

 

 

 

- C.J. Werleman

 

 

"Moving onto the sixth day of his celestial architectural program, God decides to create a human being:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him.” (Genesis 1:27 NIV)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Think about this for a moment: made in his own image? If we are truly made in his own image then why aren’t we invisible? But clearly I can see you and you can see me, so I think this is another fallacy straight off the bat. And if we do look like him, which of us does he most resemble? Is he Asian? Is he black?"

 

- C.J. Werlman

 

"Is he an NRA card-carrying member of the Texas branch of the Young Republicans? Or is he somewhat Tokyo metro-sexual in appearance? Does he stand naked in front of the mirror and wish he gave himself an extra inch or two, not that I do that, I’m just saying, ok! And what if he were anything like Bill O’Reilly? Because if he is anything like the white angry men on FOX News then I will violate all of the 10 Commandments right now, grab a gun, shoot myself, assuring myself a place in the sulphur fires of Hell. Ahh, peace at last!

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, let’s imagine that God is more like Morgan Freeman’s portrayal in God Almighty, and imagine for a moment that, bam! man is made out of thin air in God’s own image. Right? Wrong! Well, wrong according to the next contradiction, which follows alongside the birds foul up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The Lord God