Beloved or Betrayed *(incomplete) - shay prinkey (spanish books to read .txt) 📗

walking away. "fear of what?" he ask. "im afraid of hurting you. im afraid of getting hurt i mean i just dont want to ruin what we have." i said quietly looking at my feet again. "And what would that be alana?" he yelled. i flinched when he yelled because it truly startled me. I couldnt find the words. Every time i started to say somthing i felt wrong. He shook his head. "nothing?" he ask. "ty please." i said swallowing the lump in my throat. "please what man?" he yelled again. i wrapped my arms around myself. I felt so low and miserable. I was drawing nothing but a big blank. I couldnt think of anything to say. "please just calm down. This is so much at once ty." i whispered. "wow. okay. i get it." he said starting to walk torward the bedroom door. I stepped in front of it quickly. "move." He said in a harsh tone. I continued to stand there. "no. im not letting you walk away." i mumbled. "Im not the one who just walked away. i am just choosing to remove myself from this situation before things do change between us." My eyes filled with tears. I stepped out of his way letting him walk out of the room. I started gathering my stuff to leave. Once i had my stuff i walked through the livingroom to the front door. His parents were sitting on the couch talking. Ty was no where in sight. I walked out of the house slamming the door behind me. I wasnt mad in any way. I was hurt and afraid. I started my car with the key and got in quickly throwing my stuff in the back seat. I pulled out of the driveway and made it to the gas station before i completly fell apart. I screamed at the top of my lungs "WHY! I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY! DAMN IT! WHY DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND! WHATS WRONG WITH ME! "  I sobbed. I had never felt so low in my life. i had just stood there and did what i was afraid of doing. I had hurt the one person who loved me for me and who i loved with all my heart. My whole body began to shake. I couldnt controll the sobs. I held on to the stearing wheel for support because my body felt like it could just melt into a puddle. I was so weak emotionally and physically. "WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF!" I yelled hitting the stearing wheel. My phone started to ring. I couldnt stop crying but i check to see who it was and it was jas. i answered only because i felt like if i didnt i would never leave the gas station. "hello." i cried. "Whats wrong?" she said alarmed. "i, i." i couldnt talk. "what happened?" she ask. "I couldnt do it jas. I just stood there." i cried dragging all my words out. "stood where? is this about ty?" she said worried. "yes." i cried. Then ty's picture and name popped up on the phone. I hung up with jas without warning answering Ty. "What?" I yelled making my whole body tremble. "come back. im sorry. come back." he pleaded. I continued to sob. I wanted to go back but i was so afraid if i did i would make a bad situation worse. I totally understood why he was angry. I had been standing in his spot with shawn. Shawn did the exact same thing i was doing to ty to me. "no." i cried. "alana monei come back now!" he yelled. "NO!" I yelled back. I heard a loud sound in the background. "I dont have my fucking car so i cant come find you. Come back or im going to start walking alana im not fucking kidding! I am sorry i made you cry but come back." he said refraining from yelling. "why?" i sobbed into the phone. I turned the phone on speaker phone because i felt like i was going to drop it i was shaking so hard. "because im sorry. i should have been more pacient. I just wanted a answer. And when i didnt get it i freaked out. please stop crying lana. please i cant take this shit man. Its killing me." He said. I couldnt stop crying though. "i cant." i sobbed holding the stearing wheel again. I heard him sigh then i heard rustling in the phone.  "where are you?" he ask. "no." i yelled at the phone. I heard a door shut. "WHERE ARE YOU?" He yelled so loud it made me jump. I began to sob harder. I just wanted it all to stop. I didnt want him to come to me because i had nothing to say. I had no answer for him. All i knew was i loved him and i didnt want to loose him. I had none of the why's and how's and i also didnt have the answer to the true question he had asked a thousand times with his eyes, I knew he wanted to know but i wasnt sure if i was ready to give him all of me. I didnt know if i was even whole yet. I was lost again. The phone was silent. then i felt my door open. I screamed not knowing who was pulling me out of my car. He pulled me into a hug letting me cry into his shirt. My whole body weight went on him because i let it. I couldnt hold myself up i was crying so hard. He just stood there holding me in his arms. I sobbed wishing i could just make this horrible feeling in my chest and throat go away. "shhh stop crying lana. Im sorry im here. Just stop crying." he whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes and wraped my arms around him balling my fist in his shirt. I never wanted to let him go. i felt so low and so lifeless. i began to stop crying. I slowly let go of his shirt then pulled myself out of his grip. I still felt so weak. I looked around to see how he had gotten here but there was no evidence. He picked me up bridal style and carried me to the other side of the car. "shut up." he said sternly before i could refuse to let him drive. I closed my eyes and sighed. When he got in the driver seat he ajusted the seat. "you need to calm down." he said quietly but harsh. He was still angry. I sighed looking out the window as we drove. "I love you tyler im just- just so fucking scared. I cant loose you too." i said fighting the lump in my throat again. "alana you wont ever loose me, or my love." he said quietly. I started to cry but not violently. "dont lie to me. not everything is forgivable." i cried. i looked out the window again to see we were pulling into coblestone park. The sun was starting to set and it was my favorite time of day. "get out." he demanded when he parked the car in the middle of the lot. i opened my door slowly stepping out of the car. He grabbed my hand pulling me to the middle of the parking lot. I stood there for a moment wondering why we were just standing there. He stepped behind me then wrapped his arms around my waist. "this is where we first connected. This is where i fell for you. Your car was parked right there and we were sitting there talking." He said pointing to the car. Then he turned me around pointing to the picinic tables. "Thats where i fell in love with you. You were rapping about homework and i couldnt stop laughing." I smiled remembering that day. He turned me around again pointing to the swings. "Thats were you sat last year on your birthday when you made me realize my life was so much more valiable with you in it." Then he turned me toward The slides. "thats where our first argument was. We were arguing over pizza then started arguing about something even more stupid that i cant even remember now." I started to laugh. He turned me around to face him. " and this spot right here is where im telling you im going to love you no matter what. You could kill the pope and id still love you just the same alana. I could take you all over this town showing you things that made me fall in love with you but in the end its just you i fell in love with. Just you. I love you for you. No matter what you do im going to love you. I know you dont want to hurt me but i just dont see how you could possibly hurt me when all you have done is pick me up." he said. I looked into his eyes and started to smile. "I love you so much ty. I just- Please dont hurt me. Im giving you my all." i said quietly. He let out a deep breathe. "alana I wouldnt ever think of hurting you. I couldnt live with myself knowing i did anything to cause you pain." he said wiping my tears away. I stood on my toes to kiss him. I wrapped my hands behind his head to steady myself because i was still weak. He disconnected the kiss hugging me tight. I sunk into his chest holding him tight. I smiled then stepped back. "i have one more memory for this park today." i said sniffling. "what would that be?" he ask. I looked up at the sky and pulled my phone out. i stepped in front of him and smiled big. I took a picture of us in the sunset. I posted it on my facebook,twitter and instagram with the caption saying #life is to short not to be happy. #love while love exsit #Ty and lana 2012. I showed him the picture and he smiled. In the picture he was looking at the sky. "our first social media picture." i said elbowing him in the stomach. He picked me up throwing me over his shoulder. "one more shortie." he said while carrying me to the swings. I snapped a picture of him carrying me over his shoulder. In the picture i pointed to him with my thumb and stuck my tongue out. I started to laugh. "whats funny?" he said putting me down in front of the swings. I showed him the picture. He shook his head then walked over by the baby swing. I looked at him confused. "come here." he said motioning for me to come to him. I walked over to him. He pointed up to the almost dark sky. "get your phone out." he said. I pulled my phone out. "Im going to count down to one then i want you to take a picture of us. im going to frame this picture and give it to you When you marry me." he said. I rolled my eyes and turned my camera on. He pulled me close then started to count. "five, four, three, two, one." he said Then i took a picture of him kissing me on the forehead while i smiled. The picture turned out beautiful. The background was a perfect sunset. I smiled big then said "you are such a sap. but i love it." he smiled. "you have to have damn good skills to impress a girl like you. trust me it takes alot of brain power shortie." he joked. "im sure it does." i said laughing. He picked me up putting me on his back. I wrapped my arms around his neck connecting my hands on his chest. I leaned my