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Chapter 1

Darkness surrounded me. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do or where to run to. I looked at my arm and it had gotten worse. The stream of blood had begun to drip down the tips of my finger. Tears started to travel down my face. I wanted it all to go away, the pain, the misery, the fear of what might happen next. I woke up the next morning and it was all over. I looked around; I had noticed I was in the hospital. I began to sit up when a large amount of pain shot up and down my arms. I looked and the cuts on my arms were deep. I guess it wasn’t a dream. It all had been real the pain, the fear, it was all still there. It comes to mind that I still had to deal with all of it. I just hoped it wouldn't have to be soon.

A few weeks had passed by and I was forced to go back to school. I tried my best to fake sick and stay home, but my sister didn't buy it. I remember standing at the bus stop waiting just wanting this day to go by fast. Finally, the bus came and as soon as I stepped on everyone began to stare and whisper to each other. I started walking to the back of the bus, worried about today. Suddenly I felt someone’s foot go in front of mine and I ended up on the floor. All the kids started laughing. I had gotten back up and I quickly made my way to the back. I looked down, letting my hair cover my face. Not letting people see the tears traveling down, to hide the weakness inside me. Today was going to be a long day.

 

I was still crying when the bus came to a stop. I looked up and we were at school. I waited until everyone was off the bus. I stood up and proceeded towards the door. Before I had the chance to get off the bus driver stopped me. He asked if I was okay. I just stood there not wanting to answer. I was scared that I would break into tears the moment I opened my mouth. He opened the door and told me to have a good day. I got off to see that everybody was already at the school. Taking my phone out to look at the time and I had eight minutes until school began. I slowly started walking to my locker and hoped no one would really take notice of me. I grabbed everything that I could carry so I could walk quickly to my classroom. I turned the corner and bumped into Brittney. Brittney was the head Cheerleader of the Varsity squad. She was every guy's dream girl with long dark flowing hair, a model's body, a straight “A” student, a carrier in the acting business with a super powerful rich daddy. She might have been the prettiest, but she for sure did not have any kindness in her heart what so ever, especially when she was around me. I looked up and apologized. She had what seemed to be an evil grin on her face.

“Well look at who we have here,” she pushed me into the locker. The halls had gone silent and everyone began to stare at us. “The freak of the school has shown her face again,” I looked at her scared, but I knew I had to stand up for myself. I mean what else did I have to lose?

 

“Why do you have to be so mean,” She just stood there and looked at me. “Ever since I moved here you have been a total bully and I’m tired of it,” She gave me this look as if I was insane. Then, with a reaction out of anger, I pushed her. Everyone gasped at what they saw, even I did. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to,” I started to cry as I repeat those words over and over again. She looked at me, threw me to the floor and started punching me. I tried my best to protect myself when the rest of the cheer team grabbed my arms and left my whole body wide open for a beating.

“You stupid girl; how dare you push me,” continuing to beat me, my blood began to start flowing down my mouth. My face was taking another hit after hit. It got worse after every blow. I tried to speak. I tried to ask her to stop, but when I open my mouth I got hit again. After trying time and time again to speak I gave up. The beating out of nowhere stopped and I heard footsteps coming from the crowd of people. They stopped where Brittney was and I opened my eyes enough to see another cheerleader. She whispered something and Brittney looked at the rest of the cheer team holding me down. “Quick take her to the bathroom,” luckily for them, the bathroom was just a few steps away. I was dragged into the bathroom stalls. Brittney pulled my hair so that I was looking at her. “If you or anyone snitches on me, I’ll make sure you can’t walk again, do you understand?” I slowly started shaking my head in pain. She then pulled my hair aggressively and smacked me again. “I said do you understand,” I looked at her and nodded my head up and down like crazy. They left the bathroom and I just sat there. The bell rung and all the voices in the hallways were gone. I start sobbing knowing I was alone once more. I cleaned my face, making sure there was no sign of blood. I looked at my eye and all I could do was lie and say I hit something. I reached into my bag and grabbed my white teddy bear. I started hugging the bear with all my might and compassion with the tears streaming down my face.

“I love you mamma I just wish you could be here to comfort me, you always knew what to say,” I stuffed my bear into my bag and began to head out the door. I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror wondering if there is a purpose to my life. I wondered if I could survive through all this. I shed one last tear and headed off to class.

Chapter 2

The pain grew inside me. All the emotions started rushing through my veins. I wanted to cry, but I knew I was so much stronger. I had to hold it all in. I had one semester and my senior year to go. I knew this train of depression was going to stop eventually right? All I wanted was to be happy again. Mom being gone changed me as a person and I didn’t like it. It was like the feeling of being happy was completely taken from me. All these thought disappeared when I heard the bell ring for lunch. Lunch was the only part of the day I liked because we had off campus lunches. I was able to be alone in a small section of the school where no one would bother me. I stepped outside to the smell of rain. It was always the best feeling in the world, especially when I was feeling down. Suddenly my thoughts disappeared when my phone started to vibrate and I saw that it was my sister Dawn.

"Serenity I got off of work early you want me to pick you up and get you something to eat,” I just looked down at the puddle in front of me to see my black eye. I didn’t want her to see this she would go straight to the principal about this and I didn’t want to get beaten up again. I can hear Eliyana, my Niece, asking if I was going with them with so much excitement. I couldn’t say no to her, I just couldn’t.

 

Eliyana had been diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia when she was three years old. We all knew she wasn’t going to make it that far in her life and we had to make the most of it. Eliyana was already five years old and we could tell she had maybe a few years left in her. I decided to quickly put some makeup on to cover my eye. I usually never wear this kind of stuff, but I didn’t want my sister throwing a huge fit towards the school. Not paying attention I panicked when I heard the honk of a car near me. I looked to see it was Dawn and Eliyana waving at me to come. Having no choice now, I jumped into the passenger side and we headed off.

“Thank you, Aunty, I love you,” Eliyana told me with a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug from behind. Dawn looked back to see her in the rear-view mirror.

 

“Sweetheart I already told you once to keep your seatbelt on,” getting back into her seat she still seemed a little squirmy and anxious. I turned around and smiled at Eliyana and when I turned back, I saw Dawn staring at me. I just stared back and waited for her to say something. We started driving off and she finally spoke. “So looks like you’ve been crying are you okay?” I stared out the window like usual and shook my head. “Serenity I really hope you’re not lying to me,” I looked down at my feet not saying a word. “Serenity you better answer me did someone do anything to you,” I looked at her

“Nothing happened I promise I just want to eat right now,” I told her not really caring. She handed Eliyana some headphones so we could talk in private without her getting upset. We stopped at a stoplight and she turned and looked at me.

“Serenity I’m not playing this game okay, I’m not stupid so tell me what happened now,” Her voice got tense and I knew she was serious. I started crying. Tears were going down my face faster than a waterfall.

“I just miss mom okay, after her death nothing has ever been the same I want mom back, I want to see her smiling face, hear her funny laugh, I just need my mom,” Driving, Dawn grabbed my hand and just held it. I began to feel a little better knowing she could feel my pain. I felt a hug from behind me and saw it was Eliyana with a smile on her face.

 

“Don’t cry Aunty please don’t cry, you can have my cookie I get in my meal,” I wiped my tears away feeling as though there was a ray of sunlight in one little girl.

“Thank you Eliyana, thank you.”

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