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Prologue


It is breaking me from the inside.

It hurts, so I open my mouth to scream, but the sound that comes out is more like a deep groan. I see my hands twitching, my body is shivering. My back feels like bleeding, since something appears to be growing out if it. I lose control and no matter how hard I struggle, I can only watch what my body is doing. This is not me. This is not what I want. The whole scene seems surreal to me. Like the story of a terrific nightmare that has come to life. I wonder, if this is really happening.
My skin is bruising and my eyes grow dark. There is this heavy power that presses down on me. It won’t let me interfere. I am breathless. I can’t seem to find air. My lungs burn, I want to get out of here. I hurt all over. I can see my body transform into something gruesome. It’s disgusting. I feel a tug of hate and destruction in my mind. It pushes away my thoughts. I can’t remember where I am. What is happening? Why am I here?
Suddenly I see him. I don’t know who he is, though I do know that I know him. He’s coming right at my direction. I mentally sigh in relief. He will help me. I know he will. I try to reach him, but instead my body lungs for him. We both fall down to the ground. The rain pours down on us and he is fighting to get free. My body won’t let him. Rather, the thing that has taken over my body won’t let him. My weight presses down on him. He wriggles, trying to free himself without hurting me, but it’s no use. He doesn’t stand a chance. My claws pin him down.
I hear noises from behind and know the others are there. No one of them comes nearer, though I need them to help, not me, but him. If anybody doesn’t interfere soon, I don’t know what will happen.
My hands close around his throat, nails digging into his flawless skin leaving red marks. He finds his power and rolls us over, though he can’t stop my body from choking him. He looks straight in my eyes and finally recognizes that I am not in charge of the body anymore. A slight hint of fear appears in his gaze, though he doesn’t give up. He begins to kick, pulling at my wrists to let go of him. But I won’t.
I stand up or rather my body does - without my permission – and drag him along with me. A broken low voice – I find out to be the one from my body – starts to make noises, sounding like an angry animal.
Pain.
Blood rushes from my shoulder. I have been shot. I let out a heavy cry. My claws loose on him. He uses that little moment I let go of him to run away.
I am relieved. I can’t hurt him any longer.
Now they come for me. I back away only to realize I stand at the edge of the cliffs. What was the place again? Ah, right, we’re at the coast somewhere near Dover.
I feel the power deep in me becoming weaker and weaker. Maybe it does because of the shot. The others come closer. He is amongst them, too.
An impulse races through my body. My body wants to grab him again. Wants to hurt him, to kill him. I don’t want that, but that doesn’t matter to my body. What is he doing there? He keeps coming nearer and nearer. No, get away! I want to warn him, but my body won’t let me. Stop please, stop!
His hand reaches out to take mine and he kneels in front of me.
No, no, no! Get away! Back off! Run!
‘It’s okay, everything’s going to be alright.’ He smiles reassuringly.
Just go! Oh, please, go!
He thinks it’s all over, but it’s not.
Hell, it is not.
My hand grips his hard and pushes him near the chasm. Everything happens so fast now. He is tripping, not able to balance himself out in this situation. His eyes stare at me in a way of anxiety and sorrow.
His mouth opens, though before any word can come out, he is falling down the abyss.
No!
Our hands are still locked, but he is hanging down the cliffs now. His weight is pulling me down on the edge’s ground. I’m forced onto my knees, linking us both with the ground by my left hand clutching hard at the rocks.
My insides are fighting. My right hand tries to loose, my mind hinders it vehemently.
I can’t let him fall.
I can’t let him die.
Soon, I feel the darkness taking over again. Slowly, one finger after the other gets itself out of the firm grip. While that, the claws of my other hand dig deep into the cliffs’ stone ground, desperately trying to keep me from falling.
I will never let him go, I speak to myself over and over again. No, I won’t!
After an eternity of being in this state, my eyes finally meet his. I can see his mouth forming its last word. His voice is hoarse and desperate, coughing the word out as if it is his last chance to survive.
‘Alexandra.’
The name echoes in my mind. I can’t think anymore at all. I can’t say if I pushed him down or if he lost grip.
Our hands part and the weight pulling me down leaves. He falls down with such a speed, my eyes can’t even recognize. There are so many things going on around me. It’s too much for now. Everything becomes blurry.
I am left in the rain, as I feel my body returning to its normal state. The possessing power crawls back into its corner. I’m able to control my body myself now again.
The blood of my wounds mixes with rain drops and the salty fragrance of my tears. I stay at the cliff’s edge and look down to see the dark sea crashing over the rocks in a million waves. Franticly, I look around, but I can’t find him.
It’s too late.
I slump to the ground, no power left in me. My spirit is too weak now to take in anything. Bones and muscles are aching like they never have been before. With the last bit of energy, I pull my head up.
The sky turns even darker and the wind blows colder suddenly. A cruel chill is sent through my spine. My naked form throbs. I hear people coming towards me, though I’m too exhausted to care. Only one thought fills my mind, as I close my eyes in resignation.

He is gone.


Chapter 1


I turned the treadmill a notch higher.

Damn, I hated those nightmares.
Focus, Alex, you have to forget them. They don’t have any meaning.
I began walking faster, turning even a notch higher.

So, this is me, Alexandra Thomson or Alex for short. I live on my own, though I am only 17 years old. My parents have died a long time ago, in accident they say. Since then I had been in many orphanages. Nowhere had I found a home. When I was twelve I had come to London. That is where I live now. I know, London has the reputation of being a wonderful city, especially for shopping and entertainment, but I merely see that. Though, I have to admit London is a pretty big place and definitely the one most watched. Everywhere you go, cameras seem to follow you, which can quite annoy you after a while.
Especially since spies aren’t supposed to leave their traces everywhere.

Yes, you heard correctly, I am a spy. But don’t worry, I’m not one of the bad guys. I belong to the ISO, the International Spying Organization. We work for the government, doing all the secret stuff. You know, we’re like CIA or MI6, just cooler (and better). Just kidding around. I have been working for the ISO for five years now and – although, I’m still a trainee – have reached the highest level by now. (Though, I have to wait for my 18th birthday to officially become one of the elite.)

I halted the treadmill and grabbed my towel to wipe away the thin sheet of sweat on my forehead. Nobody was in the gym at this time, I took a glance at the clock. 4 am.
Okay, that explained it.
I walked straight to the changing rooms, taking out my bag of the closet and heading towards the restroom. There I slipped out of the black shorts and also black top. Those actually were my work clothes.
After a quick shower, I put on my normal clothes. A tight fitting, little washed up jeans and a loose hooded sweatshirt. I looked into the mirror to find a green-eyed woman staring back at me. My brunette hair fell down at shoulder-length and my complexion was a tad paler than it usually was. Must still be the after effects of that horrible nightmare.
I pushed my hand into my jeans’ pocket, pulling out my necklace from which a silver heart-shaped pendant hung down. Without ceremony I put the necklace on and hid its pendant beneath the fabric of my sweater.
Afterwards, I pulled my wet hair in a ponytail, some wisps falling along the sides of my face. Putting the hood onto the top of my head, I left for the great hall. Here weren’t many people, either, just David Taylor, our Coordinator, and Benjamin Roberts, ISO’s engineer.
‘Good Morning, you two’ I said as I sat down on the edge of Dave’s desk, under which Ben was crawling. The sight was pretty awkward, believe me.
‘Morning’, David said taking a sip from his coffee.
‘Ben, what exactly are you doing down there?’ I asked with a smirk.
‘David’s computer just went off, stupid machine. He called me out of my bed to fix that.’ He didn’t sound very enthusiastic about it, so I dropped the topic quickly.
‘What are you doing here at this time?’ David asked.
Damn, I had known he would ask. ‘I wanted to train.’
Sure, like he was going to believe that.
‘Do you have those nightmares again, Alex?’ he said with concern in his voice. ‘You know, if you need a break, then just –‘
‘I’m fine, David.’ The fact I used his real name in such a tone instead of ‘Dave’ or ‘Davy’ scared him. I usually preferred his nicknames, since he was one of my closest friends.
‘Okay, okay’ he sighed, ‘never mind. What are you up to today?’
‘Well, I have school, but I think I’ll skip. I don’t feel like going there.’ My voice was quivering slightly and I felt exhaustion overwhelming my body. ‘I think I’ll stay here and do some paperwork.’
‘Wow, you must be feeling really bad then’, a voice from under the desk said.
‘Why is that, Benjamin?’ I hissed becoming aggressive again.
‘You’re offering to do the paperwork – voluntarily.’ He showed up his head and grinned.
‘Idiot’, I murmured before I went off to start working. Dave followed me. ‘Hey, wait for me’
‘What is it, David?’
‘I thought, you’d like to talk, you know.’ He answered with an understanding and soft expression.
Oh great, another psycho-therapeutic talk with him.

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