In Silence Nobody Listens - V & V Gustafson (best books to read for self improvement .txt) 📗

'In silence, nobody listens,' the girl that I could only see whispered. At first she was only in my dreams. Now she follows me. I don't know her name, but her features are remarkable with dark olive skin, long legs, dark blue eyes and natural black curls. She's drop dead gorgous and any straight guy would give anything for a night with her, but apparently I am the only one who gets to bask in her glorious beauty. I don't know if I am going crazy, I don't know if I am seeing her because of stress, I just don't know. I'm going crazy, I know I am.

 The day she appared was the day my best friend died. I would waking up screaming in pain, feeling like I'm dying myself. She would sit with me months after the death as I couldn't grasp the air in the room because the tears fell rapidly and the pain of her death was too much to bare. It still feels like it is fresh, like the wound hasn't healed even though its been six months. The wound is still gaping wide fucking open and it simply hurts.

I woke up to my phone blaring the alarm and I shut it off as soon as I possibly could and got out of bed. I went through Monday in a boring haze, with nothing interesting going on, I was on zombie mode. Andrew's face lightened when I walked into my fifth hour period. Late as always I took a seat next to him, attempting to ignore the worst English teacher I ever knew. When I looked at him he looked like he was ready to pounce on me. I winked, which I could've sworn he would've fallen out of his chair right there and then a second later Andrew secretly slid me my paper: which I coaxed him to do for me. Romeo and Juliet made me want to kill myself, pun intended. Seconds tick by like minutes until the bell finally rang, even though Andrew was in that class, I was happy to get out. There was a time when I used to love him I think, I think I loved him, but now I don't know if I really know what love is.. There was a time when Aaliyah, my deceased best friend, her boyfriend Noah, Drew and I would all hang out and go on double dates, but since her death I feel like she took my heart with her and now I am an empty shell. 

 The second I got home, I flew up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut. The black hair girl was already sitting on my bed, I was over being scared of her. She wasn't actually that scary, she was kind of nice and funny and I felt like she was the only one who sincerely understood me. She smiled up at me when I walked- or ran in. 'So Riley, I guess it's time for introductions, I'm Payten,' she told me and waited for my response. I felt like something was changing, Payten had never followed me to school until today, we rarely ever had actual conversations. When I first met her a month ago, she never talked- or planted words in my head, however you want to say it. At first she barely said anything, but now? Now was the time for a conversation.

"I was actually going to ask you that some time. I figured first name basis was in order, but now that we got that out of the way, next order of business," I paused to find the words, "How... How come you never actually talk, it's like you are thinking in my own head. You don't actually speak, is that like a ghost thing or something?"

'First of all, I am no ghost Riley, secondly, I can techinically speak, but neither of us are ready for that,' she explained, which wasn't much of an explaination. It was really no explanation at all and just left me with more questions. 

"Wait what? What are you and what do you mean we're not ready for that!" I almost demanded, I felt my voice raising. 

"Riley, Hunny, are you okay up there?" A voice called from downstairs.

"Yes mom!" I yelled back.

'Well I have to go, see you later.' Payten whispered as she started disappearing.

"Wait, no! I have more! I need to talk to you!" I finished my sentence to an empty room. I sighed as I laid back on my bed. 

Payten was in my room early in the morning and woke me up before my alarm when off. 'Sorry 'bout the quick disappearance last night.'

"Hmm," was my only response. 

'Okay, you want to know why I don't talk? If I talk, if I use my words aloud, I will be bound to you. Riley, I will be bound to you forever. I will always know where you are, your thoughts will be my thoughts and my thoughts will be your thoughts. I can't talk to you Riley.' Payten said a little too harshly. 

"Okay, okay," I mumbled back, trying to seem fine, but a little upset. I laid back in bed then looked back up at her and said, "I'm staying home today, night," and before I closed my eyes I could have sworn the look on her face was pure relief. 

The next morning Payten was in my room, waking me up again before my alarm. She didn't speak at all, she just watched me. I got ready for school by straightening my almost perfecty straight blonde hair. I fixed the make-up I barely took off the night before and took one more long look in the mirror. I felt like I was seeing myself differently, I felt like the pale blonde with bright blue eyes wasn't me, I felt like I was looking at a stranger.

She, Payten, decided to accompany me in the car on the ride to school. She sat in the passenger seat, no seatbelt, but of course, why would a dead person need one, she never has to fear that it might be her last day. All the way she never said anything, she sat silent and almost looking sad. I turned my head to look at her, not caring that I took my eyes from the road, I knew them well enough, "Payten, what's wrong?"

Her eyes started to water, "I am so sorry Riley."

"For wha-?" My sentence was cut off as the air out of my lungs was stolen from me. I barely saw the truck barrel towards me and slam into the side of my car. I had no time to scream as my car started rolling and my world went black. 

I laid on the ground gasping for help and air. Payten knew, she had to have known. I felt the blood leaving my body, I felt myself drifting. "It hurts Payten!" I tried to scream at her, but no words came out.

"I know. I know," Payten said aloud, I could hear her. She said the words like she heard my thoughts. Wrong place, wrong time, that's what the police will think. They wont know the truth, they wont know it was all planned. That's not fair. They cheated. My thoughts went on, only they weren't my thoughts, they were Paytens. Payten does not know that nobody plays fair. I'll die, people will mourn, but life goes on, they forget, they move on. There is no fair and if they don't move on, then that's not fair to them. Life goes on, your life goes on, you'll see. I heard Payten's thoughts, I heard her cry and then as if the pain was unbearable, I heard no more and once more, my world went black and it was no longer my world. 

Riley's first mistake of being dead was going to the hospital to see her family. She sat there by her mom screaming in pain because there was nothing she could do. She tried to hold her brother as he held her corpse's limp hand. She tried to comfort her sister who stood in the corner of the room with quiet tears running down her face. It tore Riley apart and I felt every bit of it. I felt Riley's frustration as she screamed in the middle of the room, "I'm right here! Why can't you see me? I'm right here." She tried to tell them but they couldn't hear her like nobody else but her could hear me. I felt all of Riley's pain, every emotion because I was bound to Riley and she was bound to me. A bond I made before she died that could never be broken. 

I knew Riley had questions for me, but I kept my distance. When she needed to find me, she would know where I would be. We had a bond, she would always know. When the time is to come, she will realize what she is and what I am.

Publication Date: 07-27-2014

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