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lickle more just call me” she sat the cup of ice on my tray and turned to leave.

“Wait, can I ask you something? Is there any Dr.’s around here?” I didn’t want her in my business cause I knew all the tongues in the house would be set ablaze.

“Dr.? Chile you be needin to see Cecily down dere by da market. You feelin sick?” her question was designed for a lesser mind to start talking but not me.

“A little but I think it’s all this fresh air. Thanks for the ice.” I ended the conversation before she could start prying any further. I was about due to see a Dr. I was already at the end of my second trimester and though I felt fine you never know. After breakfast I would have Lucius drive me to the market to see this Cecily.

            I took a quick shower and put on a colorful ankle length maxi dress that made my breast look bigger. I took a few hundred from the safe before slipping on a pair of blue flip flops and paging Lucius to meet me at the front of the house. He asked me where to before closing the van doors.

“Cecily down by the market please” He nodded like he knew exactly where to go and we pulled off. I knew this might be the last time I got to see Jamaica so I paid close attention to everything around me. The tall trees seemed to be leaning forward to offer me shade and the birds seemed to be singing me my own song. The road went from being unpaved and bumpy to being smooth and level. The van stopped just short of an old beat up building. It was two stories high and had a weathered wooden door. Out in front was an old woman with shiny, dark leathery skin. Fine lines were found around her eyes and nose. Her hair shot out from her scalp like a cloud of black and silver smoke forming an afro. She didn’t speak a word only held out her hand for me to help her stand up. The cool of her palm surprised me in the morning heat. Lucius went back into the van to wait for me. I was a bit freaked out but waited to see if any shady shit jumped off. She turned to face me before talking.

“So you be lookin for a docta?”

“Yes, I haven’t been feeling good” I tried to lie but she cut me off by placing her hands on my stomach. I moved back bumping into a table, I don’t know if I was more surprised that she touched me or that she knew what I was there for.

“You about five months?”

“No six and I’ve only been to see my doctor four times since I’ve found out.”

“Is the baby in dere movin round?” Her expression told me she was about her business so I decided to answer her questions.

“Yes”

“You from the U.S, I know because yous a skinny lickle ting.” She started pulling small jars filled with liquid off of shelves. I hoped she didn’t think I would be drinking any of it.

“When you and your husbin going back to the states chil?”

“I’m not marred and my child’s father had to go back yesterday for business.”  For a brief moment I saw a look of judgment cross her aged face and it made tears well in my eyes. I hated being this emotional and it started to feel like everything could make me cry. She wrapped her arms around me and let me cry into her shoulder.

“No worries chil, you’ll be fine. Lovin a man is a woman’s first curse; her second tis not lovin herself enuf.”

                               ****************************************

                                                         Raheim Starz

            Dre and his boy Gutta met me at the airport. Dre’s whip was a classic grand marquis that looked like an old police patrol car tinted windows and sitting on 22’s. We hopped in and Dre sped off in the direction of west Philly.

“Gutta this my man Rah and he need to hear what the fuck you told me the other day.” Gutta turned in the passenger seat to face me. There was nervous energy buzzing in the car and I felt it.

“You pissed off one of the most sadistic bitches out there homie.” Gutta started

“Tell me something I don’t know” I controlled the frustration threatening to creep onto my face.

“My girl is cool wit a chic name Pamela who was sent to get your brother for Jackie”

“Who the fuck is Jackie dude?” The only Jackie I knew was a chic I messed wit back in high school and I was pretty sure she was married with children by now.

“Jackie mess wit a dude name Showboat” I saw how tense Dre’s shoulders got at the mention of Showboat but couldn’t figure out what this had to do with me.

“No disrespect but who the fuck is Showboat?” I leaned forward giving Gutta all of my attention.

This time Dre spoke his voice low and strained like I said something wrong.

“Showboat has been trying to take over my muthafuckin territory for a while now.” I could feel my anger rise; Amir was in trouble over territory.

“So what Jackie sayin I fucked her or some shit?” My questioned dripped with sarcasm.

“No muthafucka, you broke her man’s jaw a while back and now her ass is out to get you for putting him down.” The blood rushed from my face causing me to fall back into my seat. Showboat was the sucka at club six-nine the night I met up with Felicia and her girls. Before I had time to react panic gripped my chest causing me to sweat. I needed air and reached for my window switch. The fresh night air poured into the car quickly cooling my skin.

“I have to get Amir.”

“I know, don’t worry I have a few dudes working on Showboat’s location right now. For now try calling Amir’s cell again.” I obeyed Dre’s request and pulled out my phone dialing Amir’s number with lightning speed.

“Hello?” I asked into the receiver. For a moment there was only silence and then I could hear something being ripped and then Amir’s voice rush into the phone.

“Raheim? Please help me.” He sounded desperate and that made me nervous.

“Amir, listen to me where are you?” I needed him to give me a clue.

“You’ll find his ass soon enough” The same voice from earlier came on the line.

“Hey Jackie, won’t you stop playing girl. Why the fuck you with a busted ass dude when you can be wit a real dude like me?” I tried to switch up the game. She was a girl and if she mad about her man being put down it had to be about money. I had plenty of that. 

“What?” I could hear the hesitation and that’s all I needed.

“Any man willing to let his woman be in the line of danger is a nut ass dude. If you need money tell me how much and I’ll make it happen. Just let my brother go and you can have whatever you want.” I put on my best voice praying to God that she would bite the bait and take the offer. For a long moment she didn’t say anything and I thought she might take my offer.

“Bitch, I don’t want your damn money. I told you what I want and until I get it you won’t see his ass again.” I heard dead air and knew that I just lost the battle. Dre pulled over and jumped out of the car.

“Yo get the fuck out” He shouted like he was calling me out.

“What?”

“I said get the fuck outta the car.” He opened the back door and dragged me by my shirt out of the car. I never saw him look so angry at me before.

“Listen, this shit is no joke. You can’t keep thinking your ass is gonna pay ya way outta shit. You really don’t know who you messing wit son but you betta wake up real quick. This bitch got your brotha and her ass ain’t playin.” Seeing Dre so nervous made me worry about Amir more.

“Yo, you betta pray she don’t tell Showboat what the fuck you just said or Amir’s ass is as good as dead.” Gutta added his two cents from the passenger seat. I felt sick and managed to crawl back into the car before my legs gave out. I sat in silence while Dre drove over to another of his cribs in West Philly. My mind kept going back and forth from Amir, Janet and Felicia. The pressure in my head built up until I felt like jumping out of the backseat onto the street. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to my baby brother. I waited until we reached the house before I found a room in the back of the house that was unoccupied. I locked the door and dropped to my knees, the weight of my situation weighing heavy on my shoulders. Amir was probably being tortured by a crazy broad who wished he was me. I sent up a prayer to God for him to please spare my brother.

I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep but a loud banging on the door made me wake up with a pounding headache.

“Yo Rah, wake up man I need to talk to you” Dre’s voice spoke through the door. I scrambled to my feet and unlocked the door to the room.

“We bout to ride out, your ass been sleep for a minute. Showboat’s turf is in North Philly so we going to get some answers. I figure his ass know I’m his enemy so he may show his face if he see me around his neighborhood.”

“Dre I think we need a plan. May be we been going about this shit the wrong way. We know she has Amir, at this point I need to figure out how to get her to tell me where she at.” 

“I’m listening”

We already know she don’t want money so the only thing I know for sure she want is my blood. Let’s give it to her”

Dre’s eyes looked at me with understanding. I would have to get her to trade off. Me for my brother ain’t no point in making him pay for my shit.

“Just give me a minute to think shit through and you get your boys together. Tell em they need the big guns.” Dre nodded before he left me in the room to think about what I just said. I really didn’t have a plan but I knew I would need to come up with one.

Within an hour I was standing around a table with some of Philly’s hardest bad asses. Trench, known for his ability to shoot a nigga without him seeing it coming, Big Mike, one of the huskiest dudes this side of the Walt Whitman and Crazy Lou, a trigger happy Puerto Rican always itching for a reason to pop one off to name a few. I never thought I would find myself in any of their company but it was what it was.

Dre filled everybody in and a few of them were riled up just hearing Showboat’s name. Dre let them know that we would need their help during the exchange. My job was simply to call Amir’s phone to negotiate the trade. If Jackie agreed we would meet them there and ambush when the opportunity presented itself. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy but it was a risk I had to take for my brother. When I called his phone no one answered for a few rings and then I heard her voice.

“Jackie?”

“Stop acting like you know me” She sounded frustrated

“Listen I’m ready to give you what you’re asking for. I want to trade me for my brother” The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. My heart started to pound in the

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