The Attache; Or, Sam Slick In England(Fiscle Part-3) - Thomas Chandler Haliburton (reading well txt) 📗

Crowded With The Peasantry And Their

Children,  Approaching The Church-Yard In Different

Directions. The Church And The Rectory Were Contiguous

To Each Other,  And Situated In A Deep Dell.

 

The Former Was A Long And Rather Low Structure,  Originally

Built Of Light Coloured Stone,  Which Had Grown Grey With

Time. It Had A Large Square Steeple,  With Pointed Corners,

Like Turrets,  Each Of Which Was Furnished With A Vane,

But Some Of These Ornaments Were Loose And Turned Round

In A Circle,  While Others Stood Still And Appeared To Be

Examining With True Rustic Curiosity,  The Condition Of

Their Neighbours.

 

The Old Rectory Stood Close To The Church And Was Very

Irregularly Built,  One Part Looking As If It Had Stepped

Forward To Take A Peep At Us,  And Another As If Endeavouring

To Conceal Itself From View,  Behind A Screen Of Ivy. The

Windows Which Were Constructed Of Diamond-Shaped Glass,

Were Almost Square,  And Opened On Hinges. Nearly Half Of

The House Was Covered By A Rose-Tree,  From Which The

Lattices Peered Very Inquisitively Upon The Assembled

Congregation. Altogether It Looked Like The Residence

Of A Vigilant Man,  Who Could Both See And Be Unseen If

He Pleased.

 

Near The Door Of The Church Were Groups Of Men In Their

Clean Smock-Frocks And Straw Hats,  And Of Women In Their

Tidy Dark Dresses And White Aprons. The Children All

Looked Clean,  Healthy,  And Cheerful.

 

The Interior Of The Church Was So Unlike That Of An

American One,  That My Attention Was Irresistibly Drawn

To Its Peculiarities. It Was Low,  And Divided In The

Centre By An Arch. The Floor Was Of Stone,  And From Long

And Constant Use,  Very Uneven In Places. The Pews Were

Much Higher On The Sides Than Ours,  And Were Unpainted

Volume 1 Chapter 12 (Stealing The Hearts Of The People) Pg 70

And Roughly Put Together; While The Pulpit Was A Rude

Square Box,  And Was Placed In The Corner. Near The Door

Stood An Ancient Stone Font,  Of Rough Workmanship,  And

Much Worn.

 

The Windows Were Long And Narrow,  And Placed Very High

In The Walls. On The One Over The Altar Was A Very Old

Painting,  On Stained Glass,  Of The Virgin,  With A Hoop

And Yellow Petticoat,  Crimson Vest,  A Fly Cap,  And Very

Thick Shoes. The Light Of This Window Was Still Further

Subdued By A Fine Old Yew-Tree,  Which Stood In The Yard

Close Behind It.

 

There Was Another Window Of Beautifully Stained Glass,

The Light Of Which Fell On A Large Monument,  Many Feet

Square,  Of White Marble. In The Centre Of This Ancient

And Beautiful Work Of Art,  Were Two Principal Figures,

With Smaller Ones Kneeling On Each Side,  Having The Hands

Raised In The Attitude Of Prayer. They Were Intended To

Represent Some Of The Ancestors Of The Merton Family.

The Date Was As Old As 1575. On Various Parts Of The

Wall Were Other And Ruder Monuments Of Slate-Stone,

The Inscriptions And Dates Of Which Were Nearly

Effaced By Time.

 

The Roof Was Of A Construction Now Never Seen In America;

And The Old Oak Rafters,  Which Were More Numerous,  Than

Was Requisite,  Either For Strength Or Ornament,  Were

Massive And Curiously Put Together,  Giving This Part Of

The Building A Heavy And Gloomy Appearance.

 

As We Entered The Church,  Mr. Hopewell Said He Had

Selected A Text Suitable To The Times,  And That He Would

Endeavour To Save The Poor People In The Neighbourhood

From The Delusions Of The Chartist Demagogues,  Who,  It

Appeared,  Were Endeavouring To Undermine The Throne And

The Altar,  And Bring Universal Ruin Upon The Country.

 

When He Ascended The Pulpit To Preach,  His Figure,  His

Great Age,  And His Sensible And Benevolent Countenance,

Attracted Universal Attention. I Had Never Seen Him

Officiate Till This Day; But If I Was Struck With His

Venerable Appearance Before,  I Was Now Lost In Admiration

Of His Rich And Deep-Toned Voice,  His Peculiar Manner,

And Simple Style Of Eloquence.

 

He Took For His Text These Words: "So Absalom Stole The

Hearts Of The Men Of Israel." He Depicted,  In A Very

Striking Manner,  The Arts Of This Intriguing And Ungrateful

Man To Ingratiate Himself With The People,  And Render

The Government Unpopular. He Traced His Whole Course,

From His Standing At The Crowded Thoroughfare,  And

Lamenting That The King Had Deputed No One To Hear And

Decide Upon The Controversies Of The People,  To His

Volume 1 Chapter 12 (Stealing The Hearts Of The People) Pg 71

Untimely End,  And The Destruction Of His Ignorant Followers.

He Made A Powerful Application Of The Seditious Words Of

Absalom: "Oh That _I_ Were A Judge In The Land,  That

Every Man Which Hath A Suit Or Cause Might Come Unto Me,

And _I_ Would Do Him Justice." He Showed The Effect Of

These Empty And Wicked Promises Upon His Followers,  Who

In The Holy Record Of This Unnatural Rebellion Are

Described As "Men Who Went Out In Their Simplicity,  And

Knew Not Anything."

 

He Then Said That Similar Arts Were Used In All Ages For

Similar Purposes; And That These Professions Of

Disinterested Patriotism Were The Common Pretences By

Which Wicked Men Availed Themselves Of The Animal Force

Of Those "Who Assemble In Their Simplicity,  And Know Not

Any Thing," To Achieve Their Own Personal Aggrandisement,

And Warned Them,  To Give No Heed To Such Dishonest People.

He Then Drew A Picture Of The Real Blessings They Enjoyed

In This Happy Country,  Which,  Though Not Without An

Admixture Of Evil,  Were As Many And As Great As The

Imperfect And Unequal Condition Of Man Was Capable Either

Of Imparting Or Receiving.

 

Among The First Of These,  He Placed The Provision Made

By The State For The Instruction Of The Poor,  By Means

Of An Established Church. He Said They Would Doubtless

Hear This Wise And Pious Deed Of Their Forefathers Attacked

Also By Unprincipled Men; And Falsehood And Ridicule

Would Be Invoked To Aid In The Assault; But That He Was

A Witness On Its Behalf,  From The Distant Wilderness Of

North America,  Where The Voice Of Gratitude Was Raised

To England,  Whose Missionaries Had Planted A Church There

Similar To Their Own,  And Had Proclaimed The Glad Tidings

Of Salvation To Those Who Would Otherwise Have Still

Continued To Live Without Its Pale.

 

He Then Pourtrayed In A Rapid And Most Masterly Manner

The Sin And The Disastrous Consequences Of Rebellion;

Pointed Out The Necessity That Existed For Vigilance And

Defined Their Respective Duties To God,  And To Those Who,

By His Permission,  Were Set In Authority Over Them; And

Concluded With The Usual Benediction,  Which,  Though I

Had Heard It On Similar Occasions All My Life,  Seemed

Now More Efficacious,  More Paternal,  And More Touching

Than Ever,  When Uttered By Him,  In His Peculiarly

Patriarchal Manner.

 

The Abstract I Have Just Given,  I Regret To Say,  Cannot

Convey Any Adequate Idea Of This Powerful,  Excellent,

And Appropriate Sermon. It Was Listened To With Intense

Interest By The Congregation,  Many Of Whom Were Affected

To Tears. In The Afternoon We Attended Church Again,

When We Heard A Good,  Plain,  And Practical Discourse From

The Rector; But,  Unfortunately,  He Had Neither The Talent,

Volume 1 Chapter 12 (Stealing The Hearts Of The People) Pg 72

Nor The Natural Eloquence Of Our Friend,  And,  Although

It Satisfied The Judgment,  It Did Not Affect,  The Heart

Like That Of The "Old Minister."

 

At The Door We Met,  On Our Return,  Mrs. Hodgins. "Ah! My

Dear," Said Mr. Hopewell,  "How Do You Do? I Am Going To

Your Cottage; But I Am An Old Man Now; Take My Arm--It

Will Support Me In My Walk."

 

It Was Thus That This Good Man,  While Honouring This Poor

Woman,  Avoided The Appearance Of Condescension,  And

Received Her Arm As A Favour To Himself.

 

She Commenced Thanking Him For His Sermon In The Morning.

She Said It Had Convinced Her William Of The Sin Of The

Chartist Agitation,  And That He Had Firmly Resolved Never

To Meet Them Again. It Had Saved Him From Ruin,  And Made

Her A Happy Woman.

 

"Glad To Hear It Has Done Him Good,  My Dear," Said He;

"It Does Me Good,  Too,  To Hear Its Effect. Now,  Never

Remind Him Of Past Errors,  Never Allude To Them: Make

His Home Cheerful,  Make It The Pleasantest Place He Can

Find Any Where,  And He Won't Want To Seek Amusement

Elsewhere,  Or Excitement Either; For These Seditious

Meetings Intoxicate By Their Excitement. Oh! I Am Very

Glad I Have Touched Him; That I Have Prevented These

Seditious Men From 'Stealing His Heart.'"

 

In This Way They Chatted,  Until They Arrived At The

Cottage,  Which Hodgins Had Just Reached By A Shorter,

But More Rugged Path.

 

"It Is Such A Lovely Afternoon," Said Mr. Hopewell,  "I

Believe I Will Rest In This Arbour Here Awhile,  And Enjoy

The Fresh Breeze,  And The Perfume Of Your Honeysuckles

And Flowers."

 

"Wouldn't A Pipe Be Better,  Minister?" Said Mr. Slick.

"For My Part,  I Don't Think Any Thing Equal To The Flavour

Of Rael Good Gene_Wine_ First Chop Tobacco."

 

"Well,  It Is A Great Refreshment,  Is Tobacco," Said Mr.

Hopewell. "I Don't Care If I Do Take A Pipe. Bring Me

One,  Mr. Hodgins,  And One For Yourself Also,  And I Will

Smoke And Talk With You Awhile,  For They Seem As Natural

To Each Other,  As Eating And Drinking Do."

 

As Soon As These Were Produced,  Mr. Slick And I Retired,

And Requested Mrs. Hodgins To Leave The Minister And

Her Husband Together For A While,  For As Mr. Slick

Observed,  "The Old Man Will Talk It Into Him Like A Book;

For If He Was Possessed Of The Spirit Of A Devil,  Instead

Of A Chartist,  He Is Jist The Boy To Drive It Out Of

Him. Let Him Be Awhile,  And He'll Tame Old Uncle There,

Like A Cossit Sheep; Jist See If He Don't,  That's All."

 

We Then Walked Up And Down The Shady Lane,  Smoking Our

Cigars,  And Mr. Slick Observed,  "Well,  There Is A Nation

Sight Of Difference,  Too,  Ain't There,  Atween This Country

Church,  And A Country Meetin' House Our Side Of The Water;

I Won't Say In Your Country Or My Country; But I Say

_Our_ Side Of The Water--And Then It Won't Rile Nobody;

For Your Folks Will Say I Mean The States,  And Our Citizens

Will Say I Mean The Colonies; But You And I Know Who The

Cap Fits,  One Or T'other,  Or Both,  Don't We?

 

"Now Here,  This Old-Fashioned Church,  Ain't Quite Up To

The Notch,  And Is A Leetle Behind The Enlightment Of The

Age Like,  With Its Queer Old Fixin's And What Not; But

Still It Looks Solemcoly' Don't It,  And The Dim Light

Seems As If We Warn't Expected To Be A Lookin' About,

And As