Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife by Marietta Holley (life changing books TXT) š
- Author: Marietta Holley
Book online Ā«Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife by Marietta Holley (life changing books TXT) šĀ». Author Marietta Holley
Josiah had disputed with me about the waters being so hot. He said it didnāt look reasonable to him that bilinā hot water would flow out of the cold ground, and he knowed they had told stories about it. āWhy,ā sez he, āif it wuz hot when it started it would git cooled off goinā through the cold earth.ā
But I sez: āThey say so, Josiahāāthem that have been there.ā
āWell,ā sez he, āyou can hear anything. I donāt believe a word onāt.ā
And so in pursuance of his plan and to keep up his dignity he wouldnāt take a napkin with his mug of water, but took holt onāt with his naked hand and took a big swaller right down scaldinā hot.
He sot the mug down sudden and put his bandanna to his mouth, and I believe spit out the most onāt. He looked as if he wuz sufferinā the most excruciating agony, and I sez:
āOpen your mouth, Josiah, and I will fan it.ā
āFan your grandmother!ā sez he. āI didnāt like the taste onāt, Samantha; it most sickened me.ā
But I sez: āJosiah Allen, do you want some liniment on your hand and your tongue? I know they pain you dretfully.ā
Sez he, smilinā a dretful wapeish smile: āIt is sickish tastinā stuff.ā And he wouldnāt give in any further and 418 didnāt, though I knew for days his mouth wuz tender, and he flinched when he took anything hot into it.
As I would look dreamily into the Bubblinā Well I would methink how I do wish I knowed how and where you come to be so hot, and Iād think how much it could tell if it would bubble up and speak soās we could understand it. Mebby it wuz het in a big reservoir of solid gold and run some of the way through sluice ways of shininā silver and anon over beds of diamonds and rubies. How could I tell! but it kepā silent and has been mindinā its own bizness and runninā stiddy for over six hundred years that we know on and canāt tell how much longer.
Exceptinā in the great earthquake at Lisbon about a hundred and fifty years ago, it stopped most still for a number of days, mebby through fright, but afer a few days it recovered itself and has kepā on flowinā stiddy ever since. It wuz named for Charles IV., who they say discovered it, Charleās Bath or Carlsbad. His statute stands in the market-place and looks quite well. Carlsbad has a population of twenty or thirty thousand, and over fifty thousand people visit Carlsbad every summer to drink of the waters. Drinking and walking is what the doctors prescribe and I dāno but what the walking in the invigorating mountain air does as much good as the water. The doctor generally makes you drink a glass about seven in the morning, then take a little walk, then drink another glass, and another little walk and so on until about eight, when you can go to the Swiss bakery and get the zwiebach or twice baked bread, which is handed you in a paper bag, and then you can go to some cafay on the sidewalk and get coffee or tea and boiled eggs and make out your breakfast. No butter is given you unless the doctor orders it. That madded Josiah and he said they kepā it back because they wuz clost and wanted to save. He is a great case for butter.
And then after resting for an hour, you go for a walk up the mountains, or if you are too weak to walk, you can 419 get a cart and a donkey, the driver walking alongside; up the shady paths you will go, resting anon or oftener at some pleasant summer house or cafay. At one you have your dinner, you can get it anywhere along your way or go back to your tarven for it; Josiah and I generally went back and got our dinner at the tarven and rested for a while. After dinner, folks generally go for another walk, but Josiah and I and Tommy used often to go to the Sprudel Corridor and listen to first-rate music or to a garden concert nigh by.
It wuz a sight to set in the Sprudel Corridor and see the crowds of people go by, each one bearinā a little mug in their hands or strapped over their shoulders. All sorts of lookinā folks, handsome and humbly, tall and short, thick and thin, thousands and thousands of āem a-goinā every morning for their drink and walk, drink and walk. There are six or eight little girls at each of these springs who hand the water to the guests and they have to work spry to keep āem all supplied.
It wuz a remarkable coincidence that royalty so soon after havinā the advantage of a interview and advice from Josiah Allenās wife should agin have the privilege of listeninā to her invaluable precepts. But not so remarkable when you come to study on it philosophically. For it seems to be a law of nater that if one thing happens, another similar thing follers on and happens too, such as breakinā dishes, onexpected company, meetinā royalty, etc., etc.
I wuz settinā alone in the Sprudel Corridor one day, for my pardner had gone with Tommy to see a little donkey that had took the childās fancy and we meant to let him have a ride up the mountain on it and the rest of our party had driv out to Mentoniās Spring, about two milds from Carlsbad.
I see a real sweet pretty girl coming along carrying her little mug just like the rest of the folks. She wuz attended by a good-lookinā lady, who seemed to be looking out for her, and I hearn a bystander say:
420āThatās the Queen of Holland.ā
When I wuz told that the Queen of Holland wuz approachinā I sez, āYou donāt say so! you donāt say that that is Willieminy?ā
āYes,ā sez the bystander standinā by.
And I tell you I looked at her with all the eyes I had, and if I had had a dozen more I should have used them all, for I liked her looks first-rate, fair complected, blue eyes, light wavy hair, and a air of demure innocence and wisdom that wuz good to see. She wuz pretty and she wuz good, I could see that as plain as I could tell a buff cochin hen from a banty. And I wuz glad enough, when havinā discovered sunthinā she had left behind, her companion left her and went back to the tarven and she come and sot down right by my side to wait for her.
And as my rule is, I immegiately lived up to my privileges and told her how highly tickled I wuz to have the chance to see her and tell her how much store I sot by her. Sez I: āMy dear, I have always wanted to see you and tell you how much I have liked almost every move youāve made since you got to be a sovereign and before. Your crown haināt seemed to be top heavy, drawinā your fore top and your common sense down with it as some crowns do. Youāve wore it sensible and youāve carried your septer stiddy, and for a young girl like you to do them things has seemed a great thing to me. A good many young girls would be carried away if they wuz in a place like yours; I am most afraid Tirzah Ann would at your age.ā
āTirzah Ann?ā sez she inquirināly.
āYes, Josiah Allenās girl by his first wife,ā sez I. āI did my best bringinā her up, but if a kag is filled with rain water you canāt tap it and have it run cream or maple molasses. She wuz nateraly kinder sentimental and vain and over dressy, and keeps up them traits to this day. And I dāno what she would have done if sheād tried to rule a kingdom at eighteen; I guess her subjects would have seen strange 421 doinās and strange costooms, though I think Tirzah means to be a Christian. But youāve done first-rate, youāve seemed to study the best good of your subjects and have made a big effort to have peace in the world. I wuz dretul interested when you had that Peace Conference meet in your āHouse in the Woods.ā Iād been moreān willinā to had it meet in our sugar house, but it wuznāt big enough, and it wuznāt so central; it wuz better to have it where it wuz.
āI guess I sot more store by your doinās in that respect than by any other, for peace is what a sovereign and a subject must have to git along any ways comfortable. And at the present time what a comfort it would be if the nations of the world could git holt on it. But it almost seems as if peace had spread her wings and flowed away from this planet, such cuttinās up and actinās are on every side, wars and rumors of wars, armies and navies crashinā up aginst each other, nations risinā up aginst nation, brothersā hands lifted up aginst brothers and the hull world seeminā to be left to the mercy of the bloody fiend, War.
āWell, you and I canāt help it, Willieminy. Iāve done all I could in Jonesville. Iāve talked a sight and sot Josiah up all I could to vote for peace, and youāve done all you could in Holland, and so now weāve got to set down and trust in the Providence that watches over Jonesville and Holland.ā
She acted as if she felt real pleased with my praise, as well she might, and I sez, āAnother thing Iāve liked in you, Willieminy, you wuz so bound and determined to pick out your pardner for yourself and not have him selected for you. Why, good land! a dress or a pair of shues or gloves haināt half so apt to fit and set well if you leave āem for somebody else to pick out for you, and much more a pardner. I honored you for your idees in that direction, for youāve probably found out, my dear,ā sez I, āthat even if you take sights of pains and pick him out yourself, a pardner is sunthinā that requires lots of patience and long sufferinā to git along with, though real convenient to have round lots of 422 times when tramps are about, or reachinā up overhead in the buttery, or at funerals, etc. It always looks nobler to have a man along with you than to mog along alone. And men are about on a average as fur as their goodness goes with their female pardners most of the time.
āBut he will be no he-angel, if you cross him just before meal time, or donāt see that his clothes are mended up good. I hearn once of a young bride who thought her husband wuz perfect, and I spoze looked at his backbone sarahuptishushly from day to day a-worryinā for fear his wings would sprout out and he would soar away from her to go and be an angel. But one day she mended a hole in his pocket, and beinā on-used to mendinā she took a wrong turn, and sewed the pocket right up.
āWell! well! I donāt spoze she ever worried about his angel qualities after that time. I spoze he cut up dretful and said words she never dremp of his knowinā by sight, and she wuz jest as surprised and horrified as she would have been to had a lamb or a cooinā dove bust out in profanity. But he wuz a likely man, and got over it quick, and wuz most too good to her for a spell afterwards, as pardners have been wont to do on such occasions ever since the creation of the world.
āBut, as I say, matrimony has difficulties enough when Love heads the procession and Wedded Bliss plays the trombone in the orkestry.ā
She looked real interested as if my words wuz awful congenial to her. And whilst watchinā her sweet face growinā brighter and sweeter, I thought of another thing that I thought mebby she had been worryinā about and that I could comfort her up in, just as I would want our Tirzah Ann comforted under like circumstances, and I got real eloquent talkinā about this before I got through.
Sez I: āOf course, my dear, there wuz some talk about your pardner havinā his eye on your proppity, but I wouldnāt let that worry me, for Iāve always said that if I wuz a rich, 423 handsome young woman, I would just as soon be married for my money as my beauty. Theyāre both outside of the real self, equally transitory, or in fact, the money if
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