save me from myself - Keep Fighting (have you read this book TXT) 📗

 By now it was the summer and the 8th grade year was over, she was still heart broken and she still wanted to die everyday and she still cut herself and starved herself and she still wasn't okay. But now she had her bestfriend back and just like before, they spent every day possible together. They wen't camping, and swimming and they just did everything together. They we're insepratable and even though everyone else thought them being friends again would end badly they didnt care, they never left each others side, and her bestfriend promised her thaty she'd never leave again. She knew what she did was stupid, she alway thought about her too and she was hurt too. That whole summer they became so close, they had their friendship back and nothing was going to come in the middle of this. They changed and acted different but they did it together, all the people she left her bestfriend for stopped talking to her. She didn't need them though she had her bestfriend back. Then finally 9th grade came along, and now they we're in highschool and for awhile evrything was perfect.They both made new friends but they remained bestfriends. They didn't have classes together buty they we're always together. Throught the year they started getting farther and farther apart they got in arrugments all the time, and she thought she was going to lose her bestfrind again. She was so scared she cryed and cryed, and everything seemed to be crashing around her things at home got bad, he came back and wanted to see her, she thought she was losing her bestfriend, she satrted losing people. It was too much to handle and she took out the razor and cut her wrist not to deep but enough to feel paon, enough to make it bleed. Then she did one more and one more untiul her intire wrist was covered, it wouldn;t stop bleeding and she got scared she covered up her cuts and scars and wore hoodies and jackets and covered her wrist. She didn't end up losing her bestfriend but they were't as close and when he came back she wen't and saw him and she feel in love all over agian. All she wanted was to be with him, but he left again and again she died on the inside. As the year wen't on her cuts got worse and one day hert parents and friends found out and her friends didn't understand. She satrted lying to them about everything because she didn't understand her feelings and for two weeks she lsot her best friend again, and it killed her and made everything worse. When her parents found out they yeled and screamed and made her promise to never do it again. They we're so mad but no one helped her, they checked her writs everyday for two weeks, and for those two weeks she didn't cut herself. Her bestfriend and her made up and got close again and everything was okay. Then she hurt inside and no one was there for her even though she was there for everyone else, her friends we're hurting and she tryed and tryed to make them okay. She did everything in her power to fix everything, and she pushed all her feelings away. 

She faked a smile evryday and she pretendede to be okay for everyone, but deep inside she was hurt, and scared, lost, hopeless, and depressed. She started cutting herself again but this time she hid it from everyone, she cut her legs and starved and bruised and burned herself every single day. She just wanted the pain to go away, and hurting herself made her feel so relieved like for that second everthing in the world would be okay. She didn't spend time with her bestfriend as much and she made a lot of new friends. She never told anyone her secret no one knew how hurt she really was, at times she just wanted to keill herself and end it all. Yet she promised her bestfriend she'd never leave her and she tryed tio keep that proimise. Along the way she lost many people and it hurt  but she kept it bottled in and acted like  nothing effected her, everyone started noticing her fake smile and would ask whats wrong? She always saod she was fine, and they always believed her no one cared. She started hanging out with people everyday after school amd those days she'd be so happy and she wouldn't hurt herself and everything would be okay. Then one day she told one of her friends she cut herself and she wanted to kill herself sometimes and that person walked out of her life and she was hurt but she acted fine. Lots of her friends started cutting them selves, even her bestfriend and it killed her. She did everything in her power to make her better they tryed to be together everyday she would alway make she she was okay and she would talk to her for hours on the phone. She wasn't better she was hurt too. Eventually she told someone else about her cuts and the person asked her to stop. she asked many questions and the person was there, but she knew that shje too would leave because she was moving away soon. She ended up finding out her bestfriend was planning on moving away and she was so scared and hurt and she didn't know what to do. She cut herself and it got so bad she was addicted to the pain, and one time she cut herself so bad that it wouldn't stop bleeding and she was so scared. She was all alone and she had these voices in her head screaming telling her to end it all now. Telling her no one would care or notice and she believed it, she just wanted someone anyone to save her, but no one would. Everyone around her was hurt and depressed and she wanted to help and fix them, amnd she couldn't. No one was there for her no one cared enough tp help no one saw the fake smile. No one, until it was to late and that day when she needed someone and no one was there she ended it all with that last cut.

Publication Date: 04-28-2013

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To everyone struggling with depression, and self harm, and everyone who's been there for me.