First Kiss Last by Sara Miller (read e book .TXT) 📗

continued to bounce, shaking the whole couch and Leah along with it.

“Okay, okay! I’ll tell you. Stop bouncing and I’ll tell you.”

Liam froze, waiting as patiently as he possibly could.

Leah crooked her finger and Liam moved in close, ready to be let in on the secret. She whispered, “They eat their own poop.” She made a disgusted face and he giggled.

Liam giggled so hard he fell backward. He lay on the couch laughing in pure childhood merriment. Cade finally let loose his amusement as well. Soon all three were laughing. Leah felt tears forming in her eyes. When was the last time she had an actual giggle-fit? When was the last time she laughed at a poop joke, let alone made one? Even with her own nieces, she could not remember.

Her thoughts sobered her enough that a few of her tears were true grief over what she now knew was missing in her life. Cade seemed to sense the change in her. His own laughter died away. His eyes looked like he wanted to ask her what was wrong but his attention suddenly went to his son.

Liam’s giggles began to sound a little forced. The sure sign of an overtired child.

“Okay, bud, that’s enough. Come here.”

Liam reluctantly sat up. He climbed over Leah to his dad’s lap.

“It’s late. I think we should call it a night.”

“Aw, but the movie!”

“We just missed the last fifteen minutes and you didn’t seem to mind. Plus, you’ve seen it before. And you can finish it tomorrow.”

“Ten more minutes? Please!”

Cade checked his watch and did not immediately answer. When Liam waited patiently without whining, Cade made him a deal.

“Go use the bathroom and brush your teeth. Then you can come back and watch a few more minutes. Deal?”

Liam nodded. Quick to take the deal, he bolted down the hall.

Cade took the moment to pull Leah in close for a kiss before he spoke.

“You were great with him. I told you he’d love you.”

“Thanks, he’s an awesome kid. You did a great job.”

“Yeah, well, truth is I haven’t always been the best dad.” He ran his hand over his head, then across the back of his neck. “I should probably tell you about it sometime. But you—” He changed the subject, “You’re a natural. You’ve always been great with kids. Why don’t you have any?”

Leah’s body stiffened and she knew he felt it. She opened her mouth and no words came out. She probably looked like a fish as she opened and closed her mouth. She summoned her inner strength and raised her chin. “I have things I should probably tell you too . . .” Still unsure how much she should disclose.

Liam returned, crawling directly onto her lap, sparing her from saying anything more. She settled the blanket over them and gave him a little squeeze.

“I like you, Miss Leah.”

“I like you too, Liam.”

“Dad, can we keep her?” he asked with a yawn.

“Ten minutes bud, then it’s bedtime,” Cade deflected.

She felt a tiny nod as Liam fell silent. Five minutes later, the warm little bundle in her arms felt heavy and limp. She purposely didn’t say anything and let time pass as she enjoyed the movie. She wanted as many minutes of perfection as she would be granted. How many years had she yearned for this exact thing? A little boy in her arms and heart with a much bigger boy’s arm around her, holding her close. This was the life she wanted. Leah sighed. If only it was more than a dream.

“You okay?” Cade’s voice was gentle. “I think he’s asleep.” He removed his arm so he could turn and check on his son. Carefully he scooped the boy out of her arms and carried him away. Leah sighed again.

Alone in Cade’s living room, she swiped at a stray tear that slipped past her guard. Without the added warmth of their bodies, Leah pulled the afghan more tightly around her. It was no use, a chill had seeped in.

Chapter 6

“So cold . . .” she mumbled.

“Well, maybe you should have put on clothes before you decided to pass out and sleep for twelve hours straight, babe.”

Leah did not have to open her eyes to know where she was or who was speaking. She felt her husband’s long wiry body stretched out next to her in their bed. Eric’s hand rested on her ribcage. Her breath caught and she tried to subtly twist away but he grabbed her and held her to him.

“You know, a guy could get the wrong idea coming home to a naked woman in his bed. If I didn’t know better . . .” his voice trailed off bitterly. He released her. “It’s not worth the bother.”

She opened her eyes and peered at her husband. The little bit of moonlight coming in cast dark shadows over his face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“God, Leah. Don’t act like you don’t know. Sex has turned into a chore with you.” His tone abruptly changed and he spoke softly and calmly, “And before you start screaming at me, hear me out.” After waiving the equivalent of a red flag in her face, he was trying to placate her. She sat up, pulling the blanket with her.

“I just slept for how long and the first thing out of your mouth is to gripe about our sex life? You aren’t even going to ask if I’m okay?”

He sat up too. After flicking on his reading lamp, he looked at her accusingly.

“Oh come on, babe. You slept so long because you haven’t slept in days. I’m not an idiot. I know you’ve been avoiding me. I just don’t know what it is you think you have to be upset about!”

“What? I haven’t been . . . oh.” When he put it like that, she could see his point. “It’s not what you think.”

“Really? Then what is it?” He crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

“I can’t.” She couldn’t explain the dreams. Not even if she