Forgive Me by Kateri Stanley (love letters to the dead txt) 📗

“Oh, it’s well. Um, it’s kinda, it’s kinda.” Say it, get it over and done with. “It’s because of Cameron.”

“Cameron?! Is everything okay between you two?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I mean, it’s better than fine-”

“Because ever since you had detention with her, I don’t know. You don’t seem annoyed anymore.”

“We’ve made up.”

Jace stopped painting. “You’re... friends?”

“Y-Yeah. She’s...actually a really cool person.”

“And you don’t hate each other?”

“Not... anymore.”

Jace mixed her brush back in the blue powder. “So, what have you two been getting up to then?”

I don’t think you’d wanna know. I mean, you’d probably faint. “Going to movies and stuff...”

A bolt of anger lit up on Jace’s face. “So, when we’ve been going out, you’ve been bailing on us to spend time with her?”

“Sort of.” Stripe winced.

“Why haven’t you told me?!”

“Because I was worried you wouldn't be okay with it!”

“I’m more pissed that you didn’t tell me!”

“I’m sorry, J.” She took the sketch pad from Jace. “You’re right. I should’ve told you.” But I can’t tell you the other thing. “I’m sorry.”

“Do Doug and Zip know?”

“No, please don’t tell them.”

“Why not?”

Stripe raked her hands through her hair in frustration. “They really won’t get it. And they hate her.”

“I hated her because you hated her. I don’t now as you’ve made up.”

“And you’ve got the decency to understand why! The guys just won’t and I’d rather do it in my own time.” She stared at Jace chomping on the cookie dough. “Please. Don’t tell them, J.”

“Fine, I won’t. But if you and Cameron go to the movies, I want to come too. You haven't been coming out with us, I was worried that you didn’t like us anymore.”

“Oh my god! No, no, Jace! You guys are the best friends ever!” Stripe leaned forward, hugging her. “Don’t think that.”

“Watch your makeup!”

“I just thought you wouldn't accept it.” And you wouldn’t accept the other thing.

“Well, you assumed wrong!”

“Sorry, Jace.”

“So, can I come out then?”

“Of course you can...”

Jace finally smiled, returning to her canvas. Stripe watched her expression morph back into concentration. Her heartbeat was racing. I'm friends with Cameron Storms, the girl I punched. Jace, there’s something else I need to tell you - I think I’m in love with her.

Nothing was going to make her feel better right now. Not a foot-long meatball sandwich from Subway or even a Michael Keaton marathon. The line of trust had been crossed.

“You’ve gotta look at this,” Doug uttered, staring through his telescope.

It was a present from his grandmother. Jace had noticed it was helping with his Physics class and coming in handy for spying on his neighbourhood. Especially when he was staring at a pair of writhing bodies hidden under the football bleachers. “They’re really going for it!”

“What is it?” Zippo asked, breaking free from his game of cards with Jace.

“Here,” Doug said, moving aside.

Zippo peered through the telescope, closing one eye and began to laugh. “Oh my God, they really are!”

Jace watched them, her mind locked in thought. “Why couldn’t Stripe come out?”

“Said she was sick, don’t wanna catch nothing,” Doug replied, staring out of the window.

Jace knew the truth. She’s not sick. It’s because she’s out with Cameron. She loved hanging out with Doug and Zippo but she was really starting to miss her best friend. Why wouldn’t she invite me? She said she would.

She watched her friends gawping over the two people being pervs under the bleachers. This night’s been pretty shitty. I’m happy for Stripe, but she seems to have forgotten us. And it’s not fair.

Stripe scratched at Cameron’s back, the passion boiling inside of her. They were walking back from the arcade, had a bite to eat at McDonalds and before she knew it, she was lying on her back with Cameron’s lips all over her neck. Her legs wound around Cameron’s hip and she flipped her so she was sitting on top.

“You know you’re gonna kill me,” Cameron panted.

Stripe smirked. “Will this make your heart stop?”

The thought was strange and the excitement encouraged the instinct. Slowly, Stripe unbuttoned her shirt, feeling exposed and somewhat powerful. She threw it to the grass along with her dark blue bra and watched Cameron’s ice blue eyes scatter over her skin, her lower lip trembled in response. She led Cameron's hands towards her chest, guiding her fingers to touch. Breathe. Just take it slow.

“Oh my god!” Zippo yelled disturbingly. “Stripe’s down there!”

“No way!” Doug laughed.

“What?” Jace felt immediately sick.

“Let me have a look.” Doug staggered from the telescope. “I think I’m scarred for life. She isn’t fucking sick at all!”

Zippo laughed even more. “She’s more than sick. She’s got a great rack!”

“Ew,” Jace grimaced. “You’re disgusting, Zip.” She moved to the window; she wasn’t going to pry. “Who is she with?”

“I can’t really tell. It's quite dark. All I can see are her boobs at the moment...but whoever’s with her is having a good grope of them.”

“Stripe’s got a secret then,” Doug said.

“Looks like it,” Zippo replied.

Jace pulled the curtain in front of her sceptical friends.

“Hey, I was watching that!”

No wonder Stripe didn't invite me. Her back hit the wall. This is massive. My best friend... is a lesbian.

Chapter Eight

The next week at school, the gang couldn’t comprehend that one of them had a secret lover. If it was going to be anyone in the group, it would’ve been Doug, not Stripe – she was too anxious for her own good.

“I’ve always thought she was a dark horse,” Doug said.

“Who’s going to tell her?” Zippo asked.

“Nobody is,” Jace replied.

“But we’ve gotta know who it is, J.” Doug pulled off his sunglasses. “I mean, she’s been ditching us to see this person so they must be important to her.”

His words hurt Jace somehow. Weren’t they important too? True, Jace had never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy before, but she wouldn’t simply leave her friends out to bake. Though, Stripe’s situation was different, she was with a girl.

“Hey guys,” Stripe said, approaching them.

“Have a nice screw?” Zippo asked,