Forgive Me by Kateri Stanley (love letters to the dead txt) 📗

the corridors, she walked the other way. If she slithered into her head, she pushed her out with the thought of something else. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.

“Ummm, Stripe,” Jace said. “Cameron’s here.”

Stripe turned slowly, and looked up at the tall figure of her ex-lover. Cameron was dressed in a black and white suit, her hair had been combed into a spiked ponytail. She’d even made the effort to paint her eyes with eye liner.

“What are you doing here?” Stripe asked. “I thought you hated the prom.”

Cameron smiled embarrassingly. “I do, but I wanted to see you. I didn’t want to leave things like before. Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve coming over here after what you’ve done,” Jace uttered cuttingly.

“I know and I’m sorry,” Cameron replied.

Stripe touched Jace’s arm. “It’s okay, don’t worry.”

“Try to not break my best friend’s heart this time, Cam.”

Cameron smirked. “You can count on it.”

“I hope so,” Jace replied, her eyes not breaking hers.

Stripe got up, giving her a reassuring glance. “It’s fine, J. Seriously.”

They walked up the stairs to the balcony, there were other students talking in couples and others were kissing each other as if the world was about to end. They found a quiet spot and Stripe made sure she kept a distance from her ex-lover.

“You look beautiful,” Cameron said.

“Thanks, you look good too.”

“I bought this for you,” she replied, tipping a red rose wrapped in a silky black ribbon.

Stripe stared at the gift. “Oh, wow. Thanks, you really didn’t need to.”

“I see you went with my suggestions about your dress.”

“I did. Jace helped me.”

“She’s done a really good job.”

“So, are you going to college?”

“Yeah, I got into NYU to do engineering.”

“Congratulations.” Stripe felt an emotional cut deep in her chest. “New York, cool. I’ve always wanted to visit there, see the Empire State Building and everything.” That’s really far. Come on, girl. A surge behind her eyes was coming back and she made herself laugh instead. Stop it. You’re stronger than this. “Well, it’s a good thing you did dump me.”

Cameron smiled but only for a moment. “Look, I’m sorry. I was so pissed with Chris and the guys, I just...”

“It’s okay, it was gonna happen. I couldn’t do a long distance relationship anyway. Plus, it’s helped me concentrate on my studies.”

“Stripe, you can say whatever you want to me. Don’t hold back. If you’re angry, then say it. I want you to.”

Don’t cry, girl. Come on. Be the better person here. The lighting of the prom had changed and Prince’s Purple Rain rose from the momentary silence. Stripe loved this song and she let her heart open to Prince’s subtle emotive voice. She closed her eyes and felt Cameron's skin on her own, the rose slipped between her fingertips. “I missed you.”

“Me too. It’s been ripping me apart.” Cameron moved closer, catching the tear she was unable to hold back from Stripe’s cheek. “I’m so sorry.” She moved her mouth over Stripe’s, the link had regrown, joining her back into the mould she’d yearned for. The tears pinched and her skin tingled at her touch. Stripe didn’t care anymore if people were watching. None of that mattered right now.

Jace was pulling at the petals of the table decorations. She was happy high school was out forever but she wouldn’t be an adolescent again. She was excited to be heading to college, to be a designer but she was bricking the idea of living up to the challenges that were imminently ahead. She knew college was tough for some people, she’d heard the horror stories of debauchery at frat parties and why it was important to keep a thumb conspicuously over the mouth of a beer bottle. She was going to be leaving her friendship circle which she’d invested years of time to build, now with college – she’d have to start from scratch. Why can’t they be interested in textiles? If Doug, Zip and Stripe were coming along with me, I wouldn’t be so nervous.

Zippo gaped up to the figures on the balcony. “Oh my God. Who’s Stripe with? Fuck me!” He softly punched Doug. “Look up there, D.”

Doug choked on his drink. “Holy shit.”

Jace laughed, following their eye line. Stripe and Cameron were busy, cuddling and kissing to the music.

“You don’t seem shocked!” Zippo said.

“I'm not,” Jace replied. “I just hope she doesn't ruin her makeup, it took me ages to apply. Clinique brushes don’t grow on trees.”

Doug gaped. “Have you known this whole time she was seeing Cameron?”

Jace was having fun toying with them. “Not...the whole time...”

“At the football field? Is that why you asked us to come along?”

“Bingo!” Jace said. “You were handy bodyguards.”

“Does it bother you that Stripe’s…”

“Gay?” Jace asked. “Of course not! Does it bother you two?”

She watched them stare at each other mutually, with a single nod, they both shrugged.

“I can see why she never said anything,” Doug said. “If I were in her shoes, I’d do the same.”

“Well at least she’s enjoying herself. I’m glad she’s getting some action. Somebody in our group needs to.” Zippo got up and held his hand out to Jace. “Fancy a dance, beautiful?”

Stripe felt gleefully delirious as she left the hall. High school’s ended on a pretty fucking high note. She was held up by Cameron when they walked to her truck, she'd hurt her ankle dancing like a lunatic to Simple Minds. She’d fallen over but got straight back up and kept going. On the whole, she was proud of herself. She didn’t win the contest but it didn’t matter.

Cameron gave her a lift to her Aunt Tricia’s house as her father was working late. Again. Beverley didn’t trust her being in the house by herself and yet they were sending her off to college. Cameron stayed in the truck as they talked, kissed and agreed to keep in touch, Stripe couldn’t lie to herself, not seeing Cameron for a while was going to hurt. She couldn’t look back at