Duplicity - A True Story of Crime and Deceit by Paul Goldman (surface ebook reader txt) 📗

I knew Audrey still thought wewere foolish to act so quickly, but any resentment about mydecision vanished when she laid eyes on the stunning granitecountertops, the rich cherry cabinets, the gleaming hardwoodfloors, the beautiful trim, and even the rounded corners of thewalls. Audrey was thrilled by the house and the huge twenty-fiveacre park right across the street, the perfect place for the kidsto play.

After the tour, Audrey declared, “I'm so gladthat we own this beautiful home together, Paul.”

“Yes, I am too, honey,” Isaid. I really was thrilled to have been the one to provide it forher.

The rest of the weekendbecame a whirlwind of activities, while I showed Audrey all theplaces I missed so much. I filled her with stories and remembrancesof my time in Orange County, a process that made me realize howmuch I’d missed it. It wasn't the passionate honeymoon that I'dhoped for, but at least we spent both nights together as husbandand wife. Before I knew it, our trip was over and we were stoppingfor sandwiches at Pacific Delion our way to the airport.

After we settled back into the car, Audrey,who had been her usual quiet self for most of the morning, turnedto me, “I want to talk to you about something,” she began. I heardthe faint sound of a roller coaster begin its slow creep up to thesummit.

“Paul, I no longer want tohave so much sex with you. We've had sex for two nights in a rownow, and I think more than once a week is abnormal.” Her tone wascold and monotone, as if she was telling me that her sandwich hadtoo much mayonnaise.

“What?” I said with alarm,my jaw literally dropping open while the screams coming from theplummeting roller coaster echoed in my head.

“You heard me. That’s whatI think. Your sex drive is abnormal.” As she spoke, Audrey wascalmly rewrapping her sandwich so that it would fit into hercarry-on without making a mess. In contrast, I sat in utter shock,not knowing what to think.

“Is this a joke?” Please,please, please let this be a joke.

“No joke.”

“What do you mean‘abnormal’?” I asked, not sure how to take her declaration whilealso considering how no man ever wants to hear the word ‘abnormal’when referring to his sex life. “I mean, I love you, and I want tomake love to you. Christ, we only see each other three times aweek. Abnormal?” I repeated.

“Sorry. That’s how Ifeel,” she said, with her usual indifference.

“I can’t believe you'resaying this. This isn't something that someone who is in love withtheir husband would say. What’s going on?” My voice raised while Istruggled to conceal my frustration. Audrey turned from myquestions and set her eyes on the window.

“That’s all I have tosay,” she affirmed evenly.

“Well I have something tosay. I’m in love with you and I want to make love to you. Acelibate marriage is not acceptable to me. If you don’t want tomake love to me, then I can’t see how you would want to be marriedto me.” I was fuming, I was practically shouting, and I was makingno apparent impact on her. “When we get back to Florida, eitheryou're my wife and we live together as a normal husband and wife,or you can go back to living at your parents' condo, and we'll geta divorce.” I stomped on the gas, disbelieving what had justhappened.

For the entire flight back to Florida, thehum of the engines were the only sound I heard. I was reeling. Ispent the entire six hour flight rehashing all the crazy thingsAudrey had pulled, making myself angrier and angrier. I was sick ofthis roller coaster relationship we were on. Why couldn’t it be aFerris wheel ride? Sure it would have its ups and downs like allrelationships do, but instead of violent twists, turns, andscreaming, it would be more predictable and safe.

Another separation. I couldn't believe it. Iwas shocked by how cleanly and completely Audrey could simply cutme out of her life. She decided to go to her parents' place. Icalled her a few times, but she would never pick up.

After a few days of no communication, Audreyfinally sent me an email which said:

Not ready to talk. Still in shock andrecovering.

Fine, I thought, take alittle time. Then, a few days later, I received another emailbeginning “Dearest Paul.”Well, that’s more like it, I thought. The rest ofthe message read:

Please consider this:

I give notice effectiveFeb. 1, 2008. Thus, $5K/month deposited into joint checking accountto cover my current expenses. Now, we can be a REAL, MARRIEDfamily. We can split our home slumbers as follows:

Spend the night: Monday, Tuesday in Jupiter& Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & every other Saturday &Sunday in Boynton, until it's sold. Sleep time shall be around 8:30p.m. & wake time around 6:30 a.m.

Sex time around 5:00 a.m.

Dinner with friends &/or familyonce/week.

Exercise daily (walks).

Can't think of anything else right now...can you?

Synagogue weekly/bi

Instead of the explanation or emotion I hadexpected to find, what appeared on my screen was some sort ofregimented outline of how we would schedule our marriage. Much tomy surprise, Audrey arranged to end her job helping hergrandmother, so there would be no more living apart. Despite thestrange itinerary and the very early time slot designated for sex,I was thrilled to know that we would not only come back together asa family, but a full-time family. I responded immediately, sayinghow great I thought the plan was, and suggesting that we gettogether for dinner right away. I would cook her a special “welcomehome” dinner, and arrange to have Johnny eat and sleep over at afriend's house.

The next night, Audrey arrived at mydoorstep, bags in hand, all smiles. I took her bags, and we walkedinto the dining room. I lit the candles I had set up, dimmed thelights, and served the prime rib and mashed potatoes.

“You're so sweet to me,Paul,” Audrey said, reaching across the table and patting my handgently.

When we finished ourchocolate mousse, I looked into Audrey's eyes, and said softly,“Let's leave the dishes for tomorrow. I'll take care of them in themorning, honey. Let's go upstairs.”

“Sure, Paul,” Audreyreplied. “I feel like I really belong here now.”

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