Hudibras - Samuel Butler (story reading txt) š
- Author: Samuel Butler
Book online Ā«Hudibras - Samuel Butler (story reading txt) šĀ». Author Samuel Butler
And where a watch, for half the worth,
May be redeemād; or stolen plate
Restorād at conscionable rate.
Beside all this, he servād his master
In quality of poetaster;
And rhymes appropriate could make
To evāry month iā thā almanac;
What terms begin and end could tell,
With their returns, in doggerel:
When the Exchequer opes and shuts,
And sow-gelder with safety cuts;
When men may eat and drink their fill,
And when be tempārate if they will;
When use, and when abstain from vice,
Figs, grapes, phlebotomy, and spice.
And as in prison mean rogues beat
Hemp for the service of the great,
So Whachum beats his dirty brains,
Tā advance his masterās fame and gains,
And like the devilās oracles,
Put into doggārel rhymes his spells,
Which, over evāry monthās blank page
Iā thā almanac, strange bilks presage.
He would an elegy compose
On maggots squeezād out of his nose:
In lyric numbers write an ode on
His mistress, eating a black-pudding;
And when imprisonād air escapād her,
It puft him with poetic rapture.
His sonnets charmād thā attentive crowd,
By wide-mouthād mortal trollād aloud,
That, circlād with his long-earād guests,
Like Orpheus lookād among the beasts.
A carmanās horse could not pass by,
But stood tyād up to poetry:
No porterās burden passād along,
But servād for burden to his song:
Each window like a pillāry appears,
With heads thrust through, nailād by the ears:
All trades run in as to the sight
Of monsters, or their dear delight
The gallows-tree, when cutting purse
Breeds busāness for heroic verse,
Which none does hear, but would have hung
Tā have been the theme of such a song.
Those two together long had livād,
In mansion prudently contrivād,
Where neither tree nor house could bar
The free detection of a star
And nigh an ancient obelisk
Was raisād by him, found out by Fisk,114
On which was a written, not in words,
But hieroglyphic mute of birds,
Many rare pithy saws concerning
The worth of astrologic learning.
From top of this there hung a rope,
To which he fastenād telescope:
The spectacles with which the stars
He reads in smallest characters.
It happenād as a boy, one night,
Did fly his tassel of a kite,
The strangest long-wingād hawk that flies,
That, like a bird of Paradise,
Or heraldās martlet, has no legs,
Nor hatches young ones, nor lays eggs;
His train was six yards long, milk-white,
At thā end of which there hung a light,
Inclosād in lantern, made of paper,
That far off like a star did appear:
This Sidrophel by chance espyād,
And with amazement staring wide,
Bless us! quoth he, what dreadful wonder
Is that appears in heaven yonder?
A comet, and without a beard!
Or star that neāer before appearād?
Iām certain ātis not in the scrowl
Of all those beasts, and fish, and fowl,
With which, like Indian plantations,
The learned stock the constellations;
Nor those that draw for signs have been
To thā houses where the planets inn.
It must be supernatural,
Unless it be that cannon-ball115
That, shot iā thā air point-blank upright,
Was borne to that prodigious height,
That, learnād philosophers maintain.
It neāer came backwards down again,
But in the airy region yet
Hangs like the body of Mahomet:
For if it be above the shade
That by the earthās round bulk is made,
āTis probable it may from far
Appear no bullet, but a star.
This said, he to his engine flew,
Placād near at hand, in open view,
And raisād it till it levellād right
Against the glow-worm tail of kite;
Then peeping through, Bless us! (quoth he)
It is a planet, now, I see;
And, if I err not, by his proper
Figure, thatās like tobacco-stopper,
It should be Saturn. Yes, ātis clear
āTis Saturn; but what makes him there?
Heās got between the dragonās tail
And farther leg behind oā thā whale.
Pray heavān avert the fatal omen,
For ātis a prodigy not common;
And can no less than the worldās end,
Or Natureās funeral, portend.
With that he fell again to pry
Throā perspective more wistfully,
When by mischance the fatal string,
That kept the towāring fowl on wing,
Breaking, down fell the star. Well shot,
Quoth Whachum, who right wisely thought
Hā had levellād at a star, and hit it:
But Sidrophel, more subtle-witted,
Cryād out, What horrible and fearful
Portent is this, to see a star fall?
It threatens nature, and the doom
Will not be long before it come!
When stars do fall, ātis plain enough,
The day of judgmentās not far off;
As lately ātwas revealād to Sedgwick,116
And some of us find out by magic.
Then since the time we have to live
In this worldās shortenād, let us strive
To make our best advantage of it,
And pay our losses with our profit.
This feat fell out not long before
The Knight, upon the forenamād score,
In quest of Sidrophel advancing
Was now in prospect of the mansion
Whom he discovāring, turnād his glass,
And found far off, ātwas Hudibras.
Whachum, (quoth he), look yonder, some
To try or use our art are come:
The oneās the learned Knight: seek out,
And pump āem what they come about.
Whachum advancād, with all submissāness,
Tā accost āem, but much more their busāness:
He held a stirrup, while the Knight
From leathern bare-bones did alight;
And taking from his hand the bridle,
Approachād the dark Squire to unriddle.
He gave him first the time oā thā day,
And welcomād him, as he might say:
He askād him whence he came, and whither
Their busāness lay? Quoth Ralpho, Hither.
Did you not lose? Quoth Ralpho, Nay,
Quoth Whachum, Sir, I meant your way!
Your Knightā āQuoth Ralpho, Is a lover,
And pains intolerable doth suffer:
For loversā hearts are not their own hearts,
Nor lights, nor lungs, and so forth downwards.
What time, (quoth Whachum), Sir?ā āToo long;
Three years it off and on has hung.ā ā
Quoth he, I meant what time oā thā day ātisā ā
Quoth Ralpho, Between seven and eight ātis.ā ā
Why then (quoth Whachum), my small art
Tells me, the dame has a hard heart,
Or great estate.ā āQuoth Ralph, A jointure,
Which makes him have so hot a mind tā her.
Meanwhile the Knight was making water,
Before he fell upon the matter,
Which having done, the Wizard steps in,
To give him suitable reception;
But kept his busāness at a bay,
Till Whachum put him in the way;
Who having now, by Ralphoās light,
Expounded thā errand of the Knight,
And what he came to know, drew near,
To whisper in the conjārerās ear,
Which he prevented thus: What wasāt,
Quoth he, that I was saying last,
Before these gentlemen arrivād?
Quoth Whachum, Venus you retrievād,
In opposition with Mars,
And no benign and friendly stars
Tā allay the effect.ā āQuoth Wizard, So!
In Virgo? Ha!ā āQuoth Whachum, No.
Has Saturn nothing to do in it?
One-tenth of ās circle to
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