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those cliffs ever so subtly, so too do the foods we eat shape our forms subtly, slowly, and methodically over time.”

– David Wolfe, author of Eating for Beauty

Recap

Our smile and eye contact attract a man first.

A dress or skirt is the number-one garment men find feminine.

Men want to see our hourglass curves.

Men love to see us in colors because they see us as beautiful flowers. Choose colors congruent with your natural coloring.

Wear soft fabrics that men want to touch.

Men are drawn to our movement, including clothes and jewelry that move.

Men love flowing long hair on women of all ages.

Simple heels, strappy sandals, or bare feet appeal to men.

Men like women wearing natural-looking makeup.

Our posture is an important element of our attractiveness.

When looking for a wife, men prefer a feminine, modest look over a sexy look.

Men prefer simple, understated classiness.

Our overall health is a great part of our beauty and attractiveness to men.

Explorations and Journaling

Which of these feminine attraction elements from this chapter do you already have or do? List them.

Which outer beauty aspect would you like to add, if any? Try it, then journal about the outcome. How did you feel? How did men react?

Do you smile easily and in a genuine way? Describe what makes you laugh and smile.

Are you happy with your current wardrobe? What would you like to change and why?

Do you own any feminine dresses? If not, why not?

What are the predominant colors in your wardrobe? Why did you choose the colors you chose? Have you consulted a professional colorist to make sure they work for you?

Describe your jewelry. What simple pieces might you add to your collection?

Describe any circumstances that have held you back from focusing on your beauty. Are any of those conditions within your power to control? What can you do to accommodate more time for your outer beauty?

Have you asked your man’s opinion of your appearance and dress?

Does your man feel safe enough to be honest with you when you ask his opinion about your appearance? If not, what can you do so that he will trust you more?

Have you ever asked a man/your man to shop for clothes with you? If so, how did it turn out? If not, consider asking him to go with you to help you select clothes you’ll both love. Then observe and journal his reaction.

Chapter 9

Feminine Sensuality Men Love

“I have a new found respect for sensuality. The only way I can indulge is being in the present moment…and those moments can last as long or as short as I need them to be.”

– Patty Contenta, Author of Sensuality Secrets

Men Look to Women for Sensuality

Although sensuality is predominately a feminine domain, it’s one that men greatly appreciate. We women are all about experiencing the sensual. Men know and love this aspect about us. Having been a personal image, color, style, and interior décor consultant, I have experienced more than my share of creating sensual atmospheres using all five senses: visual beauty, soothing sounds, soft touches, fragrant scents, and of course, delectable delights for tasting. Exploring the senses is like meditation for me. Time stands still as I lose myself in creativity.

Some conflate the idea of “sensuality” with “sexuality,” but these two concepts are very distinct. Although sexuality can include the sensual arts, sensuality does not necessarily involve sex. Sensuality is all about indulging in the five senses for greater life enjoyment. We can incorporate sensuality into everyday aspects of our life: cooking, decorating, lighting, movement, dance, fabrics, music, and aromas. Our kitchen can be as sensual as our bedroom. We can even bring sensuality into our workplace.

Because men represent the nuts and bolts of life, they look to women for the enhancements and sensual pleasures. As I mentioned earlier, men build strong, sturdy houses with studs, wiring, and plumbing, and then women turn them into cozy, comfortable homes with lovely furnishings, pleasant colors, and all the wonderful creature comforts.

Our feminine gifts are the perfect complements to the masculine gifts. One without the other would be incomplete. A newly built house with no furnishings or décor feels Spartan—cold, barren, and lifeless. Likewise, women’s creative ability to turn a house into a beautiful home would be rendered pointless without the house.

The feminine adds flavor, texture, and delight to men’s lives. We bring it to them through our sensuality (our five senses). Recall the trellis and vine allegory. Men provide the structural support for our beauty and enhancements. It’s their strong trellis that supports our beautiful, flowering vine. While men tend to focus on working hard on serious tasks, women are the ones who bring the relaxing and renewing sensual arts.

Before we can be sensual for the men in our lives, it’s important that we reclaim sensuality for ourselves. But making time for sensuality can be challenging in today’s culture of working women. Many who have demanding careers often don’t have the time or the energy to indulge in sensuality after a stressful workday. As a consequence, we lose touch with our sensual selves. In evoking the five senses, we reawaken our femininity. Sensuality grounds us in our natural feminine essence, thus raising our self-love. That’s why we need to experience these five senses for ourselves first before we bring them to our men. We can’t give what we don’t have.

Even if a woman is working full-time, she can make time at work for sensual healing practices. I’m not talking about dressing sexy for work. I’m talking about practices and rituals to connect with our femininity. For instance, she can hang a picture in her work area of a relaxing beach scene from Hawaii or Tahiti or Bali and gaze at it whenever she feels overwhelmed. Or she can take a one-minute “vacation” at her desk by closing her eyes, visualizing relaxing in that beautiful place, and taking three slow, deep breaths.

If desirable, we can schedule an evening to practice sensual healing once a week at home. If we can’t make the time

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