The Wave by Kristen Crusoe (ebook reader online txt) 📗

Clair stood and walked over to the door, taking the handle and opening it wide enough to slip through, past Claudia.

‘I’m fine, really.’ Looking back at Adam, she said, ‘I’ll be over in my office, if you want to come find me when you’re ready to leave. I’ll ride home with you.’

Adam nodded, his eyes on Claudia. ‘I’ll do that,’ he said, a quick smile, glancing at her. Then back to Claudia as though waiting for a snake to strike. His heart was hammering in his chest. His feelings of protection for Clair, his dread of old habits finding a way through his new-found honor, and the whisky all swirling around, like a water spout. He feared what might be brought up to the surface.

Chapter 18

Clair

Clair kicked through piles of dry, crackling autumn leaves as she walked across campus to the original buildings, housing the graduate math and science schools. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt a flicker of joy in the day, and in her own presence. As she passed huddles of students, the pond, spotted mallards and geese, her mood lifted so that she could almost imagine being happy again. Maybe there was hope, here in this life, for another simpler way of being together. And between the two of them, perhaps they could keep Devon alive, his spirit vital. She could teach again, play her cello in the orchestra and the string quartet. Maybe even teach cello. She was happy before Devon. She could be happy again. Now, she had Adam back. She believed him when he told her he had not been unfaithful. Didn’t she?

Classes were in session so the halls were mostly empty. Clair had always reverenced these moments, the quiet intensity of learning. All those young minds, soaking in knowledge, integrating it with their own experiences and aspirations. By the time they got to this building, graduate studies, they were motivated. There was no need to compel, only to provide the support and resources. They did the rest on their own. School had always been a haven of calm in the quiet chaos that had been her life. And today, she found deep solace sitting at her desk, watching the dust mites swirl around in the afternoon light filtering in through the southern window.

Outside, a murder of crows was cawing, announcing the end of day. A rush of sadness and longing so fierce it took her breath away coursed through her. Doubling over, she felt faint. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of movement but when she turned her head, nothing was there. This had happened to her many times since her walk into the ocean. She hadn’t told anyone. Spirit beings, she believed. Not quite ghosts. The wave of emotion passed. Dr Ellerby had warned her about hot hormone surges that would feel like being pulled along in a truck’s tailwind, being swept up in a volcanic eruption. Wait it out, he had advised. Run cold water over your wrists, Naomi had advised. Take drugs, Rosemary from the support group had advised. She waited it out. Beethoven’s ninth opening strings broke the silence in the room as her phone alerted her to a call.

‘Clair here,’ she said, sitting up straight and leaning back into the soft fabric of her desk chair. Surprised by the caller ID, a smile sounded through her voice. ‘Ben, or Jodie, which one of you is it, or both?’

‘Hey, it is both of us, using our one tiny, out of date phone. But we have service, for a few minutes anyway. We’re traveling across southern Africa now, going to the latest cholera outbreak.’

‘Why?’ Clair asked. ‘How is a trauma surgeon going to help a cholera patient?’

‘All hands on deck, and mainly it’s for Jodi, she was called to help with moms and babes and where she goes, I go.’

‘I think he doesn’t trust me not to run off with the fortune we get paid,’ Jodie said, laughingly.

‘Fortune indeed. We barely make enough to keep us in medical supplies much less enough for an adventure. But, that’s enough on us. How are you? We haven’t caught up since you left the hospital. Have you started treatment yet? How’s Adam? Tell us everything.’

Clair closed her eyes, imagining them at a train stop, colorful people moving about, the smells of life and energy pulsating across the miles. Their love, and authentic happiness proved the belief that this is what makes us human. The need to love and be loved. And their ability to share this with others, strangers as well as family.

‘The treatments are going well. I’m sick as shit the first few days then OK for a few days, until the next round. I’m in my office right now, getting ready to come back to work. Can you FaceTime? You should see my head. I look like an artichoke.’

‘No, ha, we can’t FaceTime but I can picture you without hair. I remember that time you bleached your hair with peroxide, you and that friend, Missy. It turned out orange and Mother Dearest made you have it clipped almost to the stubble. Hopefully you aren’t going to dye it purple or something.’

‘Now, that gives me ideas,’ she said. ‘Maybe I’ll stripe it.’

‘Seriously Clair,’ Jodie cut in. ‘What’s going on? What does Ellerby say.’

‘I find out tomorrow. He’ll review my latest blood work and scans. I’m going to a support group, and it’s great. The women, and one man, believe it, were so funny and supportive. Jodie, I think I can do this.’

‘I know you can do this,’ she said. A strong crackling sound broke into the conversation.

‘Damn, we got to go sis,’ Ben said. ‘Train’s pulling out. We’re losing connection. Love you.’

And they were gone. Clair sat for several moments, savoring their voices, their closeness, and adventure. Maybe once this was all over, she and Adam could go on a trip, just take off, travel, on a train, bus, boat, any way.