The Wave by Kristen Crusoe (ebook reader online txt) 📗

and she was eager to find Adam and go home. When she opened the door to the theater arts building, as she climbed the fake marble stairs up to the third floor, having to stop on each landing to catch her breath, the feeling fluttered like a dragonfly hovering above a blossom, not wanting to break that perfect stillness, that transitory moment between before and after. Walking down the hall, looking at posters on the walls of past productions, many if not most featuring photos of Adam with a beautiful girl or woman. Really looking now, she saw that Claudia was also in many of the scenes, standing just behind Adam, sometimes off to his side. It didn’t mean anything, she reminded herself. Nothing at all. It was his work. Like her work, his students and colleagues were actors, playing parts. She was his real life.

Voices rang out from his room at the end of the hall. She pushed through, eager and hesitant. Then an anger so strong, like a hurricane wind, tore through her. Never had she felt such emotion. She picked up the closest thing at hand, a framed award for Best Director Western Colleges and Universities, and heaved it across the room, where Adam and Claudia were embracing. It hit Adam between his shoulders, causing him to gasp, turn to see her standing there.

‘Clair, God Clair, it’s not what you think.’

She was running down the hall, down the stairs, to the street. Past the Fusion Food Truck, dark now, lights off, owner hooking up to his van. Tears blinded her, thoughts unraveled. What to do? Devon, she knew, this one thing, this true thing. She had to get back to Devon. A deep intuitive knowing that his spirit waited for her somewhere in the world carried her forward.

Chapter 19

Clair

The cab pulled up to the house. It was fully dark now, a new moon offering no light. Wishing she had left a light on, she dug in her bag for her phone, turning on the flashlight function. It illuminated the front door, which she saw had been left open, only the screen door keeping out the autumn winds and evening insects. Remembering how excited she had been to surprise Adam, to reclaim her office, and role as wife and teacher, rushing out, not bothering to close the door behind her. What a delusion, she chided herself.

‘Will you wait here?’ she asked the cab driver. ‘I’ll just be a few minutes, OK?’

Rushing into their bedroom, she pulled open her closet, ripping shirts and pants off hangers. Drawers pulled open, underwear, sweaters, and night clothes were found, tossed into a large fabric tote. From the bathroom, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and body lotion. They’ll have everything else I need, she thought. This will do for now. One final look into Devon’s room, gratified to see that the cars were still arranged in their circle, she rushed back out into the cold, dark night, the only light coming from the taxi’s low beams. She opened the door, falling back against the seat, exhaustion leeching the last drops of energy from her.

‘Harbor hospital, cancer center housing,’ she said. ‘And please, hurry.’

She had called ahead, letting the desk know she was coming. The housing for cancer patients was simple and provided small, studio-type apartments, with a central kitchen and community room. Tonight, only two of the five studios were inhabited, making it easy for her to get one at the last minute. They were set up for patients who had to drive long distances to receive their treatments. She had explained that she needed to stay because she didn’t have transportation and had to see Dr Ellerby first thing in the morning. The desk clerk didn’t argue.

A woman was standing at the kitchen counter as she walked through the lobby of the housing center. Tall, but stooped, she moved slowly, as though every action required enormous energy. She leaned against the counter, both hands pressing against the edge. Clair didn’t want to startle her so she spoke softly.

‘Hello, I’m Clair, can I help?’

The woman turned, and Clair saw such pain on her face, she stepped back.

‘Oh, no, sorry, I was lost in thought for a moment. Hi, I’m Hope, what a ridiculous name, especially now. Oh, dear, sorry again. I must sound mad.’

‘No, really, Hope, it’s good to meet you. Can I do something? You look like you were going to be sick.’

‘Not me, no, I’m fine. It’s my husband, Mike, he’s sick. And we just learned he can’t have any more treatment. It’s futile, they said. So, we have to go home, back down to Redwood City. It’s right on the border with California, but inland, about a hundred miles. It is in California actually, what am I saying, I’m rambling. But we didn’t have a cancer center there and we would rather be up here. We love the coast. Always have. So, you’re just getting in?’

The tall woman, visibly straining to hold herself together, stood straight, pulling her shoulders back. Clair realized she was standing there holding her large tote.

‘Yeah, I live here but I’m not driving right now, and my house is way up the river. It wouldn’t have been practical for me to try and make it every day, for treatment, you know.’

‘All by yourself then?’ Hope asked.

‘Pretty much,’ Clair said. ‘But here, let’s sit down. Can I make us some tea? I see a pot and packages on the counter there.’

‘Yes, please, that will be good. I can’t stay long. My husband is lying down. I came in to make us something for dinner and got distracted. I don’t know what we’ll do. He’s being sent home to die.’ Hope disintegrated into sobs, her back heaving.

‘Oh dear, here, let me help,’ Clair said, although she had no idea what to do to help. ‘I’ll find us some food, I’m starving too. Come, sit down. Here on the sofa.’

She took the distressed woman by the hand, leading her to a