How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (knowledgeable books to read TXT) 📗

Studies cite dramatic examples of one partner's coming into a huge inheritance or, conversely losing his or her job or even being tragically disfigured in an accident. That destroys the balance of the relationship.

The subjects in these studies were not mean, heartless people who left their partners. They simply subconsciously evened the score in a myriad of small ways such as withholding expressions of affection, letting down on their physical appearance, or becoming reluctant to make self-sacrifices for their partner's benefit. The superior partner might refuse to do chores, take a stronger stand on which parents to visit for the holidays, or suggest separate vacations.

Small reactions lead to big misery in relationships that become unequal.

Hunters, Huntresses, if after all these warnings about how you don't want to marry up, you're still thinking,

"Well, maybe finding a partner justlaittlehigher on that vulgar inventory of assets would be OK," come with me. You can't really change your lo oks, your bank account, or your breeding to match the Quarry you want to bag, but you can change their opinion of your assets. Let's start with the one that's the toughest to manipulate. It's number one on the love assets list: physical appearance.

Page 173

26

How important are looks? Let me put it this way.

After doing initial research for this chapter, it was a tough choice between plastic surgery or suicide. First, let's get the bad news out of the way for those of us, male or female, who are less than a 10 in the looks departmentL. ooks count !

Remember in high school when you asked about a blind date's looks and your best friend said, "Oh, she's got a great personality" or "He's a really nice guy." The kiss of death, right? Yes, looks count on first meeting, especially to men. However, looks are aperception , and we can manipulate perceptions.

What God cheated us out of in the looks department, we can make up for through clever techniques that have a lot more to do with your Quarry's first impressions of you (your body language, self-image, and communications skills) than they do with makeup.

What do we consider good-looking? It varies, of course, from culture to culture. In our country, thin is in. (Not so for the Sirono women from Bolivia who constantly gorge themselves to become a nice fat armful for their men.) American men prefer to kiss slightly curved Cupid's-bow lips. (Not so for Ubangis, who put saucers in their lips to stretch them out like pancakes.)

Page 174

Different standards of beauty prevail around the world, but one thing remains constant. Mother Nature plays a role in telling us who's hot and who's not.

Even in modern-day America, women like a man with strong features who looks like he would be a good, caring provider. Men like a woman who looks like she is sexy and could bear healthy children.

Studies tell us precisely what is in vogue.

What Type of Looks Do Women Like?

Here is what a group of researchers found that women most liked in a man's face:

Women are attracted to men whose appearances elicit their nurturant feelings; who appear to possess sexual maturity and dominance characteristics; who seem sociable, approachable and of high social status . . .

Individuals who display an optimal combination of neotenous (boyish) features of large eyes, the mature features of prominent cheekbones and a large chin, the expressive feature of a big smile, and high-status clothing were seen more attractive than other men.

41

What type of body do women like? American women generally prefer men of average build, but bigger above the waist than below. The studies tell us they prefer V's to pear4s2. However, taste varies depending on the class of the woman judging the male anatomy. Women on the lower end of the socioeconomic totem pole prefer muscle men.

Conversely, highly paid professional women find hefty beefcake downright distasteful. They go for the dark, slim, and sensitive body types.

What about height? One assumes the taller the better because our culture venerates height. In fact, practically every president elected in the United States since 1900 was the taller

Page 175

of the two candidates. The Wall Street Journal reported that taller graduating college students (6'2"

and over) received an average starting salary 12.4

percent higher than those who were under six feet tall.

Yet, in the sexual arena, apparently taller isn't better.

Women of all sizes—short, medium, and tall—rated a variety of men equal in all features except height.

The medium sizers won.

Gentlemen, speaking of size (yes, the size oift), the only source I can turn to is a recent article in a popular woman's magazine called "Is Big Really Better?" The article equivocated (lest readers'

husbands get hold of the article and be emotionally destroyed). However, a photograph

accompanying the article left the question open. Two attractive women were shown rolling on the floor in hysterics as one of their friends held up a baby finger.

What Type of Looks Do Men Like?

When answering researchers' questions about women's looks, men were less articulate. A typical answer was, "Uh, gee, well, you know [grunt, grunt], uh, good-looking." However, a group of resolute scientists plodded on and zeroed in on what the average male considers attractive.

Yes, thin is definitely in. For women especially. In an analysis of singles' ads, researchers discovered, out of twenty-eight desirable qualities, thinness topped the list for me4n3 .Again, this varied with the class and personality of the man. More extroverted and lower-class men choose large-breasted, wide-hipped women.

More introverted and upper-class males choose smaller-framed women.

A group of men from various classes was shown photos of large-breasted nudes in typical pinup poses along with some pictures of more fully clothed attractive women. The results were as

expected when the men were asked which they would like for a roll in the hay. However, when questioned on which they would prefer as a wife, both upper-and lower-class men

Page 176

chose the more clothed woman. Many of the upper-class men even preferred the clothed lady for a roll in the hay (or a tryst in the backseat of their Mercedes).

Unfortunately,