Hooking Up : Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus by Kathleen Bogle (e book reader android txt) 📗

And you are like: “Maybe she’ll hook up with everybody and we’ll put her picture on the wall or something.” [sarcastic tone] Everyone knows her business and I think it is detri-mental to her . . . reputation.

KB: So, hooking up with people that are friends or in the same fraternity is not a good idea?

Kyle: No. Because I think everyone talks about them. [Senior, State University]

In addition to the problems for women regarding how often they hook up or with whom, there were also a number of other behaviors that could potentially lead to being negatively labeled. Several men M E N , WO M E N , A N D T H E S E X UA ll D O U B ll E S TA N DA R D

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mentioned how some women at their college dress, particularly how they dress for parties, bars, and other social gatherings where hooking up takes place. When women dress too seductively, they were often labeled “easy” or “stupid.” In some cases, men indicated that girls who dressed in a seductive manner were purposely sought after by men looking for an easy, one-night hookup. Jack, a sophomore at Faith University, said “If I want it to be something for one night, then I’m looking for someone that’s showing a little midriff.” Ed, a senior at State University, made a similar point:

KB: Are there people on campus that have high status?

Ed: I think that a lot of the girls on campus, I definitely don’t want to be picking on the whole Greek system, but I think that a lot of sorority girls seem to dress the same and even the girls that aren’t [in sororities] seem to dress . . . the same, in a really seductive manner. And I think that they’re more sought after for the casual sex kind of thing rather than relationships.

Another pitfall for college women was constantly hanging around a particular fraternity house. A couple of male fraternity members I interviewed mentioned that there were some girls who were always at their fraternity house. These girls became friends with some of the brothers in the fraternity and they started hanging out at the house even when no party or other social gathering was happening. These women were seen as the lowest of the low. In fact, one fraternity member said that these women were referred to by the fraternity brothers as

“houserats.”

Kyle: We also have houserats . . . who always hang out [at the fraternity house]. They don’t have to knock on the door; they come right in and sit down. There [are] usually people over the house or whatever.

KB: Are they friends with the brothers or why are they there?

Kyle: Friends . . . I guess, yeah, [but] they hook up too. [They are]

kind of like special friends or friends with benefits. A lot of times they get stigmatized too. “I don’t want to hook with her, she hooked up with three of my brothers,” or “I know what she did last weekend.”

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Thus, “houserats” were stigmatized not only for what they did sexually within the hookup script, but also for their behavior outside the sexual arena. Kyle went on to explain that he did not treat houserats the way he would treat other girls. For example, he felt no need to “watch what he says” or extend any other kind of traditional courtesy toward them.16

Women’s conduct in the hookup scene can also lead them to be negatively labeled. The men I spoke to said that women need to “watch themselves” in terms of flirting, drinking, and “letting go” at parties or bars where hooking up might take place.

KB: Are there people that have bad reputations?

Trent: Yeah.

KB: [How does someone get] a bad reputation?

Trent: Just doing stupid stuff. If you hear stories about them, you’re going to think less of them.

KB: What would be a story that would earn someone a bad reputation?

Trent: This one girl was at this thing called “Mrs. Faith University” . . .

for one of the frats. . . . It was this contest down at this one motor lodge place and they had to chug beer and do this drinking contest and the “dream girl” would be the one who won the most. But, this one girl comes out with this real short skirt and no underwear on and just starts flashing people and she was a mess and ever since then people just look at her and are like:

“That’s disgusting, what are you doing?” It’s dirty. She’s branded with that for the rest of her time here [at Faith U.]

KB: At the time, were you there?

Trent: No, I wasn’t there.

KB: So, the story kind of got around?

Trent: Yeah . . . people were just telling me about it and everyone looks at her and is just like . . . and I found out the next day, so you know the whole campus knew within the week.

KB: So, in that case it’s not a bad reputation from something she did . . . with somebody else or sexually, but it was just how she was acting?

Trent: Yeah, in that case it was how she was acting. But, then you always hear stories about girls who will sleep around and you’ll get a bad reputation that way [too]. [Senior, Faith University]

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Kyle: I think [freshman women] are a lot different than other women you encounter on this campus.

KB: Why are they different?

Kyle: Because they don’t have a clue. They have no idea. They don’t know what they are doing. . . . They can’t get beer.

They maybe feel