How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (knowledgeable books to read TXT) 📗

"You'll hit Oceanview."

As Phil and I rode off on our bicycles, I could hear sounds of the couple's arguing fading in the distance.

She was most

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likely telling him how rude he was to interrupt her, and he was probably accusing her of being irrelevant and too talkative.

As we pedaled along the beautiful path, I began wondering about what might have taken place if I'd been bicycling alone that day and run into the attractive man, also bicycling alone? How might the communication between us been different if he hadn't been with his girlfriend? I would have asked the attractive stranger for directions just as I did. But then, I realized, if he'd given me a short answer, all I could have done would be say thanks and pedal off.

How much more I would have enjoyed having the attractive stranger tell me what a beautiful path was in store for me, how it twists and turns, and then give me details about the changing colors of the leaves the way his girlfriend had. That would have opene d the door to further conversation with this attractive male.

When I came out of my reverie, I asked Phil his opinion. Suppose he had been bicycling alone and come upon the beautiful woman bicycling without her boyfriend. If he had asked her for directions, what would he have liked hearing? First of all, Phil said, a tad accusingly, "I wouldn't have asked directions."

"OK, OK, that I know," I said. "But suppose you hadto find your way and were reduced to that humiliation?"

"Well," he said, "she would have turned me off with all that babbling. Ideally she would have just told me to follow the path."

"Like her boyfriend did?" I asked. "Well, yeah."

I was merciless. I persisted, "Well, suppose she wanted to meet you and keep the conversation going.

What should she have done?"

"Criminy, Leil, I don't know!" But Phil could tell from my expression I was determined to find out.

"Well, maybe if she'd added a little veiled compliment, it would have turned the tide. It would change the encounter from impersonal to, well you know, personal."

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"What do you mean by a veiled compliment?"

"Well," Phil mused, "she might say something like,

'It's a long ride . . . but you look like you're up for it.'"

"Oh, come on!" "No, really," Phil said.

TECHNIQUE #63 (FOR HUNTRESSES):

JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM

Huntresses, when stalking and talking with male Quarry, keep your explanations short. Shave down the details.

If you want to extend the dialogue and switch into a more personal mode, try a little veiled compliment.

Hunters, don't try this. Getting off the objective and switching suddenly into a more personal mode can come across to a woman as being too forward.

Instead, extend the conversation by giving more details.

Then, after you've been chatting for five or ten minutes, it's perfectly logical to suggest a further activity together, like having a coffee.

TECHNIQUE #64 (FOR HUNTERS):

PAINT A PRETTY PICTURE

Hunters, instead of worrying about how you can score with a great line when you meet a woman, simply flesh out whatever you are saying. Elaborate, and share interesting details. If she likes your looks, she will love hearing about how something looked, sounded, or seemed. Paint a pretty picture for her to enjoy.

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There are a few more ropes to learn in the shaky bridge that spans the perilous communications gap.

One of them is discovering how to keep the love knot tied even when your partner is upset.

Hunters, it's easier for you, because you need to learn only one phrase. Gentlemen, when she looks obsessed, angry, pre-occupied, or annoyed, use the magic phrase. Ready? Here it is: "Do you want to talk about it?"

Men, when trials and tribulations come tumbling down on a buddy, you're accustomed to clamming up or punching your pal's shoulder and saying, "Ah, it'll all work out. Don't worry about it." However, if you give your female Quarry this brand of consolation, a flag goes up in her brain which waves, "Insensitive man. The brute doesn't want me to bother him with my problems."

Let her know you are there for her. Even if she grumbles, "No, I don't want to talk about it,"

persevere. Say, "Come on, I know you'll feel better if you talk about it. I'd really like you to share your feelings with me." Then the dam will burst. Be prepared to be drenched with whatever is bothering her, but never fear. All you have to do is close your mouth and listen.

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Listen the way a woman listens, not like a man. To many men, listening means getting the wax out of their ears just long enough to gather sufficient data and then offering their solution. Women listen to each other knowing that they need to get whatever is bothering them out of their systems. Let your Quarry talk. As her stream of consciousness starts to slow to a trickle, you may probe and possibly offer gentle suggestions to show you are concerned about her problem. But do not feel you must solve her problem.

Do not feel it is your responsibility. Do not feel as though she is blaming you. Simply listen.

TECHNIQUE #65 (FOR HUNTERS):

TELL ME ABOUT IT

Hunters, when your Quarry is upset, beg her to tell you about it. Then listen—like a woman listens. It makes you a more loving man in your Quarry's eyes.

Huntresses, when your Quarry is angry, disturbed, or upset you have even less lines to learn than a man. In fact, don't deliver any lines at all. Simply close your mouth. Respect his silence the way one of his buddies would. Men are not accustomed to sharing their feelings, so if you insist he talk about it, you're asking him to twirl his hips in an exotic fandango that he never learned.

Incidentally, Huntresses, there is an added benefit to respecting his silence: You do not become associated with his distress. When the storm has blown over, you will be his refuge from the internal tempest he suffered, not part of it.

You can