Me Life Story by Scarlett Moffatt (best classic books of all time txt) 📗

Joel and I both knew he would ace it; after all, you don’t get given the nickname Mr Bushtucker Trial for nothing.

Joel came back from his trial holding his stomach. ‘Oh no, you’ve done the eating challenge, haven’t you?’ I said. I started to get a lump in my throat and a sickly feeling in my stomach.

‘That was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done,’ he said. ‘I had to eat a furry moth, a pig’s snout, fish eyeballs, goat penis and blended scorpion.’

He aced it, I was so proud. I must admit, as selfish as this sounds, I was also gutted. I wanted to do the final eating challenge. Not because I enjoy the taste of liquidated scorpions but because I had already managed to get through one eating trial so I knew I could get through another one. My mind began to run wild with the possibilities of what my final trial would be. ‘I hope mine isn’t anything to do with being underground, or in a coffin or a cave.’

‘It won’t be, it’ll be fine. You can do whatever is thrown at you, Scarlett,’ Adam said. Adam was good at motivation. His camaraderie and laughter kept us all going through camp.

‘Thanks, Adam, and thank you, Joel. Bloody hell, we all have a main course now.’ My mouth was watering already at the thought of real food, on a real plate.

‘Good luck, Scarlett,’ the boys shouted. I went and sat in the Bushtucker Telegraph to talk about how I felt. This was going to be my final ever trial. I couldn’t believe it. Where had the time gone? I didn’t want to leave. Yes, I was missing everybody back home but I genuinely was having the time of my life. I was living my dream.

My final ever trial was to win all three of us a dessert and a treat. Oh what I’d do for a bit of apple crumble and custard. Or a cup of tea with a Tim Tam (which are basically the Australian version of a Penguin biscuit, but it’s like a really sexy Penguin biscuit – I ended up bulk buying them at the airport and bought 240 Tim Tams at duty free).

As I walked up the hill to see what final horrors awaited me, I noticed something peculiar. I couldn’t smell anything. Most of us had learnt to identify insects by their smell alone (not a skill that I thought I’d have to acquire or a skill that I hope has to come into use again). We would walk into a trial, and I’d be like, ‘Right, so I know there’s mealworms and crickets involved.’

Medic Bob would be so confused. ‘How do you know?’

‘I can smell them.’

You just get to know the smell of different insects. Here’s a little insect chart for you:

• Crickets: similar to old pumpkin guts like a sweet but deathly sort of smell

• Cockroaches: smell musty, like damp clothes

• Mealworms: basically smell like an alley with loads of dog shite in it (you know, the type where the poo is that old it’s gone white like chalk)

I suppose no matter how much you watch the show you would never know that, I mean it’s television not smellevision. I’ve watched the show religiously though the years. In fact, I’ve watched it all, judging everyone throughout. I wish I hadn’t now because you don’t actually realise how difficult it is until you’re in there. I remember watching some trials and screaming at the TV, ‘Jesus, do these people not know what they’ve signed up for? They do know surely that they’re free to leave whenever they want – they’ve chosen to partake. No one’s forced them! Big wimps, the trials can’t be that bad.’ But believe me, they’re even worse than you imagine.

Back at my final trial, I was ten seconds away from finding out my fate. I was greeted by Ant and Dec; it was so encouraging to see their smiling faces and to encounter people who didn’t smell of sweat. That’s why I couldn’t smell the insects, all I could smell was soap, deodorant and cologne from the boys.

Dec asked the questions. ‘What would it mean to you if you won, Scarlett?’

I knew exactly what it would mean to me and trying to put it into words was proving a difficulty for my brain. As a kid, now this will come as a surprise to you, but I’ve always been a bit weird and I wasn’t accepted in a lot of social groups. I always felt a bit of an outsider looking in. So I feel that if I won I would be showing my little sister that it doesn’t matter, you can just be you and people will accept you for that.

It meant more than just a crown and a title for me. I was doing it for all the little outsiders out there, to prove they can do anything they set their minds on, that they’re stronger than they think.

‘Good luck, Scarlett, you are – if you choose – about to do the final trial of the series. The Cavern of Claws.’

My brain was like, right, what has claws? Erm, cats, no, that makes no fucking sense, Scarlett, why would they put you in a cave full of pussies? Erm, tigers? Right, head, you’re just being ridiculous now. Oh God, it’s going to be rats, isn’t it?

‘You have five minutes to dig into the cave above and to the side of you where some surprises lurk along with the stars.’

I was put in a cave where I had to lie flat on my back. I felt like I was in a coffin, I could barely stretch my arms in front of me. As they closed the cave door I felt trapped and for a moment I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it. But then I remembered what I had just said to Ant and Dec. I whispered to