LEAD ME ON by Julie Ortolon (best pdf ebook reader TXT) 📗

the window and saw the sun was starting to set. Was she still with her sister?

His mind drifted back to that morning and what Adrian had said, that Allison felt things more deeply than most people, and when she gave her heart she gave it completely. The thought actually gave him hope. If he could make her care for him before she learned the truth, maybe they’d have a chance at building something that would last.

The trick would be winning her heart in the first place. Why would someone so wonderful want to take a chance on him when he knew nothing about healthy relationships?

God, he sounded pathetic, and more insecure than he’d have ever imagined. Which made him doubt his ability to win her even more. His moodiness was only a minor strike against him compared to this new and frightening self-doubt. Women might say they liked “sensitive, vulnerable men,” but from personal observation, he’d found quite the opposite to be true. Women flocked to men who treated them with indifference, while men who worried too much about pleasing women were considered wimps.

The problem was, he did want to please Allison. He wanted her to care for him. And for the first time in his life, he wanted to be worthy of someone’s caring.

A soft knock on the door jarred him out of his thoughts. “Yes, come in,” he called, already standing.

Allison stepped inside, her face aglow with happiness. “Am I interrupting your writing?”

“Not at all. I was hoping you’d come up. Well? How’d your visit with Rory go?”

“Wonderful.” Her smile grew brighter, but as he drew near, he saw her eyes were swollen.

“You’ve been crying.”

“Buckets!” She gave a shaky laugh and waved a hand in front of her face. Her other hand remained behind her back, hiding something. “Hard to believe I had any tears left after blubbering all over you last night. But it felt good to finally tell her. So, I wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?”

“For listening, for being here, for being you. You’ve helped me in so many ways since you got here, sometimes I don’t even feel like the same person I was three weeks ago. So, I brought you something.” She moved her hand from behind her back and held out a canvas bag.

“What’s this?” He took the bag from her.

“The bookstore delivered the books you asked them to find. Plus, I added something you might like.”

Reaching into the bag, he lifted out one of several leather-bound books. Opening it, he found the yellowed pages filled with handwriting.

“Marguerite’s diaries,” Allison said. “Or rather, the English translations my great-grandmother did. I’ve decided to let you read them, as long as you promise they won’t leave the inn.”

“Absolutely.” Something warm moved through him as he looked up at Alli. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. After yesterday and this morning, I feel as if you’re almost part of the family now. Adrian even asked if you might want to use the weight room downstairs.”

“You’re kidding.” The gesture of acceptance startled him.

She stepped closer and laid a hand on his cheek. “You’ve become a very special friend to me, and it feels so good to finally trust someone again. To let myself care for someone.”

He closed his eyes as dread washed through him.

“Don’t worry,” she said quickly. “I’m not expecting anything in return. I won’t pressure you—”

“Alli, stop.” Regret tightened his chest as he kissed the palm of her hand. Words backed up in his throat, and he had to swallow hard. He couldn’t possibly tell her yet. She had to care for him first. Yet the longer he held his silence, the bigger the deceit. “Can we sit down?”

“Certainly.”

He set the bag of books on the desk, then took a seat on the sofa. She sat beside him in the soft evening light and lengthening shadows. The innocence and trust in her eyes made his stomach churn.

“Allison, I know we said our relationship would be temporary, but what would you think about continuing to, you know ... see each other?”

The openness vanished from her face like a wall slamming down between them. “You mean, you go back to New Orleans, and we arrange a few days together here and there? Like what you had with Kelly?”

No, he didn’t want that at all. He wanted her in his life completely. But that seemed too much to ask so soon. Take it slow, he warned himself as he let out a breath. “Something like that.”

She rose abruptly, as if ready to flee, but stopped a few steps away, her back to him. “No. I’m sorry, but... no.”

The rejection hit him like a fist to the heart. Because she was rejecting him. This had nothing to do with her hatred of his family. She simply didn’t want him. He sat back, trying to catch his breath. “I see. I just thought, we’ve been enjoying each other’s company. At least I’ve been enjoying yours, so I thought—” I thought I had a chance, for once in my life, to have something good, something golden and rare. He stood as well, went to the desk and blindly straightened some papers. “Never mind.”

“I can’t keep seeing you, because...” Her voice broke. “I’m not sure I can keep following the rules. You’d want something friendly, convenient, but I don’t think I could keep seeing you without getting ... emotional. And that wouldn’t be convenient at all. Would it?”

To his utter shock, his vision blurred. He turned carefully and found her facing him, fear and hope warring in her eyes. “Actually, it would be. Convenient. See, there’s something I think I should tell you.” His legs started to shake, so he leaned back against the desk to brace himself. “You see, I’m ... I’m in love with you.”

Color drained from her face and she swayed.

“Allison!” He lunged forward, pulling her against his chest, and he felt her body trembling.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” She looked up at him. “You promised we could control it.