LEAD ME ON by Julie Ortolon (best pdf ebook reader TXT) 📗

“I lied. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, it just happened ...” Smoothing her hair, he willed her to understand. “I’ve always been able to control my emotions, hold back. Until I met you.”

She stared mutely back at him.

“I know you didn’t ask for this, that it frightens you. It frightens me, too. But I want to be with you, Alli, more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Can’t we at least give this a chance?”

Tears rose in her eyes. “What if it doesn’t work?”

He cupped her face. “Surely we can find a way to make this work, and make it last, if you think you can ever love me a little in return.”

Her eyes closed as a sob jerked through her body. “I’m not sure I can. I know I promised Rory I’d quit worrying about the future and live in the present, but I’m not sure I can handle something this huge.”

“You don’t have to be afraid. We can take it slow. You don’t have to give me anything you’re not ready for. Just don’t push me away.” He kissed her cheeks, the corner of her mouth, desperation tearing him apart. “Please don’t push me away.”

Her arms went around his neck, and she buried her face against his neck. “I couldn’t push you away if I wanted. Oh Scott, I’m afraid to love you, but I’m more afraid to lose you. I don’t know what to do.”

“You do what you just said, stop thinking about the future and live in the here and now. Is that so terribly hard?”

“Yes.” She lifted her head to look at him. “After all these years of holding back, it’s very hard to let go. To trust fate not to kick me down again. But I’ll try. I’m tired of being a coward, so I’ll try.”

Closing his eyes against a rush of relief and joy, he lowered his mouth to hers and felt as if he were leaping off a cliff. “No more holding back, for either of us,” he said between kisses. “Whatever the future brings, we grab this now.”

“Yes.” She kissed him back as her tears became joyful. “No more holding back.” Her heart took flight as he tightened his embrace, lifting her off her feet.

“I love you, Allison.” He turned in slow circles of celebration as he kissed her neck, her cheek. They tumbled onto the bed, kissing and touching. He gazed down at her, and she could see the love in his eyes. Awed, she touched his face, let her fingertips trace the line of his nose, his beard, his lips. Had she really thought him cynical and arrogant? With his heart opened to her, he seemed so vulnerable. Love swelled within her, but the words wouldn’t come, so she drew his head down to kiss his lips and show him what she felt.

No more holding back. The words made her quiver deep inside as he undressed her. When at last they lay together, skin to skin, with no barriers between them, he looked deep into her eyes. “I love you,” he whispered as he moved over her.

She blinked back tears, because the words remained locked in her heart. She could feel them yearning to get out, but she couldn’t say them, so she smiled at him in welcome as he settled between her thighs.

“Don’t be afraid.” He framed her face with his hands as he pressed inside, filling her with his body, and his love. “We’ll go as slow as you want. And I’ll never intentionally hurt you.”

“I know.” She smiled as he began to move, slowly, purposefully. Each thrust made her body and her heart ache for release. Clinging to him, she closed her eyes and lost herself to the pleasure of a joining that was somehow different from all the others. She felt connected to his soul, could feel his openness and his vulnerability. The last surprised her, because she’d never suspected he had doubts or fears. Yet it thrilled her too, that he let her see it, feel it.

He took her mouth again in a long kiss as he thrust deep, losing himself and taking her with him. When the pleasure came, she felt her heart crack open. The liberation staggered her, left her as breathless as her physical climax. She stared into space as he held her tight, and kept staring even when he shifted to lie beside her.

As passionate as he’d been in the past, he was equally gentle now. He held her in his arms, kissing her forehead and caressing her with his hands on her back and arms. Never in her life had she felt so cherished. Torn between laughter and tears, she burrowed her face against his chest and squeezed her eyes shut.

How gloriously different making love was from having sex. Now that she knew, she never wanted to go back. Sex was thrilling, but making love was ... the moon and the stars and the brightness of the sun all rolled into one.

Whatever the future held, she had this moment. She had Scott here and now. And her heart lay open and filled with joy.

The following morning, Scott woke alone, which didn’t surprise him. Allison could hardly sleep with him openly with the inn full of guests. Still, it hurt a bit that she hadn’t woken him before going downstairs when they’d been so close throughout the night.

The evening had been filled with lazy touches and quiet murmurs. They’d stayed up for hours, talking and making love. She’d told him about Lauren, and he’d talked about his book. She’d asked him about his life, his childhood, his family. He’d answered evasively and encouraged her to talk about her own life instead.

If he wasn’t already totally and hopelessly in love with her, last night would have done it. Her openness had fully revealed the qualities that had attracted him from the first: sweetness, honesty, intelligence, and humor. And she was a hairsbreadth away from