Who Has to Know - K.F. (bookstand for reading txt) š
- Author: K.F.
Book online Ā«Who Has to Know - K.F. (bookstand for reading txt) šĀ». Author K.F.
I know I shouldnāt but I do, I love him. Every time he smiles I get weak, every time he speaks my heart just leaps. When he looks at me I feel like heās staring into my soul. Thereās only one problem, heās my best friendās boyfriend and my best friend as well. So what can I do nothing thatās what? So I admire him from afar. No one knows how I feel and itās not fair he was mines first I met Jalen in the 6th grade. I met Layla in the 8th and she came and took him away from me. Layla has and will forever be my best friend though. Jalen was my best friend well until these feelings came, so I distanced myself away and he and Layla got closer I guess. They have been together for four months now and every time their together my heart sinks. I feel like she doesnāt know him like I know him and to be honest she doesnāt. I have to just deal with the reality that heās not with me and when she is playing him itās really like sheās playing me. Whatās a girl to do? I feel like Iām stuck between a rock and a hard place. My backās against a wall. If I told him I would be breaking some type of code and since Iām not telling him the only thing Iām breaking is my own heart. I know this sounds stupid seeing as Iām only 16, but I know how I feel and maybe it is a crush but itās a crush Iāve had for three years and I canāt seem to shake it. I guess thatās just life.
I wonder what sheās thinking about. Kerri just seems to drift off lately. I wish Layla would shut up, she keep going on and on about some party. Sheās not even seeing that Kerri is gone again. Laylaās just like that I guess, she always misses the small thinks.
āKerri are you okayā I ask.
āIām fine Jalen quit asking me thatā she smiles.
āSo back to what I was sayingā Layla starts again and I roll my eyes. Kerri just giggles like she always does when I do stuff like this. They are the complete opposite. Layla is loud and outgoing while Kerri is quiet and conservative. Kerri is super smart and Layla is, I guess sheās smart in a way. Kerri is reasonable and Layla has always been her way or no way. They both are great though. I know Iām with Layla but sometimes I wonder how it would be to be with Kerri. I know sheās my best friend and I shouldnāt think this way but I just have and Iāve been thinking about it for a while. I met Kerri in the 6th grade we were partners in our history class. She was super quiet, but I like to talk so that was okay. I guess one day I said something like or agree with and she went off on me. From that day on we were friends and that made us best friends. I found that she was very talkative and funny. Kerri has always been beautiful but she was always a stick well until now. She is filling out real nice. Sheās not as developed as Layla but beautiful all the same. She was kind of distant for a while after we started hanging with Layla in the 8th grade then our first year in high school we got closer again then in the 10th grade more distant and now going into our 11th grade year sheās just quiet and not herself. Layla and I got together because, well I donāt really know why. I love Layla but it doesnāt feel like the kind of love it should be. I donāt know maybe itās just me.
I canāt wait for this party. Summer vacation has just started and Iām ready to go hard. No one seems to share the same excitement as I do but thatās how it usually is. I swear Jalen is really starting to irritate me. I really donāt know why Iām still with him. I mean he is very attractive heās a chocolate color with deep dark brown almond shaped eyes. He has ebony black hair with crisp waves and his lips are round and delicious. I guess the fact that heās 6ā2 and plays football and baseball is a plus. Heās smart too, smarter than me anyway but not as smart as Kerri. That girl is beyond normal smart but thatās my girl and I love her. Man Jalenās teeth are really straight and white. I like him a lot and love him as my friend but I really miss Kerriās Brother Jonathan. He left about a year and a half ago to go live with his father in North Carolina but heās coming back to finish his senior year and stay with his mom and Kerri. Last time I seen him he was the color of caramel and had sandy brown shoulder length thick curly hair. He was 5ā8 but Kerri said he much taller now. Itās crazy how someone can grow within a year and a half. His grey eyes put me in a trance and the way he spoke enticed me. Heās addicting and Iām a fiend. I canāt wait to get my next fix. Kerri said he let his braids go and now has locks that are a little past his shoulders. That boy knows just what to do to make me want him more. I bet them locks make him look all the sexier. I know dark skin is in but I love my light skinned caramel Jonathan. His lips are this pinkish brown color and I would love to just kiss them. His body is amazing, he ran track, played basketball, and boxed. I guess I just love athletes. Heās coming home in a couple of days and I know I have a boyfriend but I canāt wait to see him. We have history untold history and I canāt help the way my heart feels. Jonathan just has me hook and when itās all said and done I know something is going to happen between us.
āSo Kerri are you going to come with me?ā Layla asked.
āNot this time Layla, I have to clean up and get ready for Jonathanās arrivalā
āRight he is coming home, tell him I said hi when he gets inā
āI willā I said and Layla stood to leave.
āOkay well guys I got to go get ready, Jalen will I see you there?ā
āProbably not Iām kind of tired from football practiceā
āOkay well Iāll call you laterā she said and as she turned to kiss him I turned away. Then she left.
āSo Kerri whatās up, whatās wrong?ā
āWhat do you mean, Iām fineā
āYouāve been so sad and distant latelyā he said. I just wish he could read my mind then he would know how I was feeling.
āI donāt know what you meanā I said not looking him straight in the eye.
āOkay Kerriā he said as if he were getting irritated now he knows how I feel when I have to sit and watch then two. āKerri I know you and I know when somethingās wrongā yeah any one could figure that out but it would be great if you know exactly what was wrong.
āJalen nothing wrongā
āOkay Kerri if you say soā
āGood because I do say soā I say getting a little irritated myself.
āI just care about you and if youāre hurt or someone hurt you I will do anything to change that I just want my best friend backā I understand what he means but can he change it if he apart of the problem, the thing thatās hurting me.
āYour best friend never left Jalen Iām fine, I promiseā I say finally looking into his deep almond shaped brown eyes. We stared into each other eyes what seem like forever and I began to feel warm from the intensity of the stare.
āKerri is it me?ā he said in a low tone. I broke the stare and looked down again at my hands. I just want to scream YES itās you. But instead I say.
āNoā and I bite down on my bottom lip.
āYouāre lying you always bite your bottom lip when your lieā he right and that irritates me.
āJalen just stop Iām fine, damnā I say rolling my eyes and shaking my head.
āOkayā he says harshly and then he gets up and leaves me sitting in the den alone. I hear the front door slam shut and I throw my head back against the soft black suede sofa.
āThe day just gets better and betterā I say to myself. I realize my book bag is still in the back seat of his car so I rush after him and I get to him right before he starts opening his car door.
āJalenā I called out to him.
āWhatās up?ā
āMy bag is in your carā I said walking up to him. He grabbed my black Prada book bag out of the backseat and just stared at me. I looked somewhere else to avoid his gaze āWhat?ā I asked nervously.
āNothingā he said and handed me my bag.
āJalen, you didnāt do anything wrong, itās just a lot going on in my head right my
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