If I Die Tonight - Peyton Keller (red white royal blue .TXT) 📗

body. He was unbelievably sexy. I heard a low groan coming from the back of his throat. Matched with my own soft groan.
I finally realized what was happening. And I tried to pull away. I moved away from him. Doing so I heard him mutter the words more. He looked up at me with those soft green eyes.
Trying to think of what to say was difficult. I couldn’t form a word. A phrase or sound. Everything was just pushed to the back of my mind. Except the way he kisses. That seems to not want to move out of my mind.
“I don’t think we should do this anymore. I barely know you. You have told me a lot about yourself. But we just met. We shouldn’t be doing this!” Did I honestly just shriek when I said that? I’m cool.
“You didn’t like it? I liked it. It may have been my first kiss but it was incredible. Just like you. And I know we don’t know each other that well. But I find you fascinating. I’m interested in everything you say. You intrigue me Alexavia.” He said this with such power
I liked the way he said my name. The way it rolled off his tongue made me want to hear him say my name over and over again.
“Alexavia?” I was in my train of thought so when he said my name made me jump.
“What?” I snapped.
“Are you ok?” he had a worried look on his face.
I got up off the bed and grabbed my stuff. “I should go. I should have never come here. It was stupid.”
I was two steps away from the door, until Sebastian was blocking my way. A tear escaped and ran down my cheek. He looked down at me with the saddest face ever.
“No don’t go and please don’t cry. I’m here. Don’t do that baby girl. It will all be fine.”
This time he wiped the tear from my cheek and held me in his arms. I longed to have someone hold me like this. To feel loved. To feel like I’m important. He held me there while I rested my head on his chest. He whispered sweet things in my ear. He told me he would always be there. He wouldn’t leave me. With all the emotions that have bunched into one they were coming out. Not from the blood on my wrist. Not from the tears. It just felt different. I didn’t know how to explain it. He was like the knife cutting into my flesh letting the blood seep out. It was something I have never experienced before. He was someone I have never expected to come into my life.

Chapter 3
Day after day Sebastian and I were together. We went to the movies. And we had went on a date. We had also made out underneath a tree at the park. He usually held my hand everytime we were enxt to each other.We were learning more and more about each other. I listened to him and he listened to me. It was all I ever wanted since Sammy died was someone to listen to me and get what I was feeling. He got me and everything I was saying. Not once did I feel stupid, weird or anything like that.
I got to meet his little brother. I had seen his dad but I just got a hello and then he was gone.
At this very moment we were sitting at lunch. I was eating and so was he. We were cracking jokes about different things. When one of the jocks came up to the table.
“Hey freaks! What’s up?” He had that stupid grin on his face.
I looked over at Sebastian he was staring at his plate.
Then out of nowhere the jock flings his dish on lap. And says “Yo freak don’t you speak English? What the fuck bitch! When I talk to you, you answer!” He barked that sentence in my face.
There is no possible way I wasn’t frightened on what happened next. Sebastian grabbed him by the shoulder and flung him on the ground, and I heard him say “Go ahead BITCH make your move! Do something like that to her again I will lay you the hell out! That’s a fucking promise you stupid ass!”
It was like he was a whole other person. I can’t believe he was standing up for me like that. Sebastian let the jock get up before nailing him right in the face. With that punch I heard a crunch. The jock fell on his knees, holding his nose.
Sebastian started to walk. I quickly got his stuff along with mine. I followed him out the door as fast as I could. Everyone looking at Sebastian and whispering about how no one has ever stood up to Ryan like that.
“What was that?” I said as soon as we were far away from the school.
He stopped and put his hands over his face. He took a long breath. It was several long painful minutes until he answered.
“I did that because of how he was talking to you. No one is going to get away with that while I’m with you! No one talks to you like that! Or I swear to god I’ll kill them! He disrespected you! I don’t like that kid. I just…..” He stopped and started walking again.
I followed so I was right next him.
“You just what?” I asked out of curiosity. “Sebastian? Stop walking and talk to me.”
He finally made a complete stop. He didn’t turn around. I put my hand on his shoulder.
“You can talk to me. You know you can. I’m here for you just like you are for me. Now please turn around and talk to me?” I pleaded him to turn around.
He turned and looked me in the eyes. He grabbed me and hugged me like he never did before. There was something different about his hug. I couldn’t put my finger on it. But there was something different in the way he touched me. I tried once more to get him to talk.
“Please tell me what you were going to say. Whatever it is I want know so I can help you!”
He shook his head and whispered three words in my ears. Those words made me get an awkward feeling. He just said I love you.
I backed out of his embrace. I looked at him. He looked like he was going to vomit.
“What did you just say?” I needed to ask that. Maybe I didn’t hear him right. Maybe he said I owe you. I probably heard him wrong. Silly me.
He looked at me and repeated “I love you.”
I stood there. I couldn’t do anything else. But stand there with my mouth a gap. He did just say I love you. Ha I thought he said I owe you. Wow I’m seriously stupid.
“I knew saying that would freak you out. I’m sorry. Just forget I said anything to you. It doesn’t matter. It was stupid of me.” He started to get tears in his eyes. He turned away. I didn’t know how to respond. He was a boy I did like. I just never told him. I had feelings for him but I didn’t know if it was love. How could I say I love you to him?
“Just forget it Alexavia. I can see your thinking about because of the way your nose crinkles. It’s cute but I always know when you’re thinking about something.” He smiled that beautiful smile I look forward to seeing every day.
“I can’t forget that though. I like you. More than a friend. I just don’t know if it’s love. I am not the best person at this kind of feeling.”
“I understand. At least I didn’t make a complete douche out of myself. Now I don’t feel as bad for saying it.” He grabbed my hand and held it in his. His touch was warm. It was that kind of touch that lets you know that you actually mean something to that person.
He pulled me closer to him. Body to body. I looked up into his beautiful eyes. He looked down into my eyes. He lowered his head and kissed me. I craved his kiss. He kissed me with such intensity.
When he pulled away he smiled and said, “I will walk you home. No need to go back to school. It will be hell.”
My reply was smart but it made him laugh, “Isn’t it always?”
“Yea. But I’ll drop you off and then I’m going to go home. You want to do something tomorrow? Since its Saturday we could go see a movie or something.”
“Of course!” I would go do anything with him. He’s just that awesome and fun.
We walked to my house. We were holding each other’s hand. We talked about how he nailed Ryan in the face. We were making so many jokes I forgot my mom was home. She was out on the front porch. She sat up straight and yelled my name.
“Alexavia! Why aren’t you in school? Who is this?”
Great I thought. She was wasted. She started walking down the porch steps. In the process she fell down. Sebastian and I rushed over to her to help her. But all we got from her was don’t touch me I can do it myself!
“Mom I think you need to go inside and get some rest you look like shit no offense.” I muttered
“Yea and you look like a slut. Now tell me who this is. Your new depressing best friend? Or is he your boyfriend?”
Both of us just stood there. My anger was starting to kindle up inside.
“Well tell me young boy who are you? And why are you hanging around my daughter? Isn’t she a little too ugly for you to want? I can’t believe I gave birth to such a disappointment. Get away while you can she will drag you down with her.” She spit the words out. Like she has been waiting years to say that.
“I am Sebastian Knight. My father, brother and I have moved her not to long ago. And your daughter is mainly the only person I talk to and I wouldn’t change that for anything. She’s a beautiful young lady. She’s very amazing.” He said that with such cockiness. I was surprised most people wouldn’t say anything.
With that my mom started laughing. She was swaying back and forth. “If you think that thing is amazing then you must have been dropped when you were a baby. Are you alright in the head? Look at that!”
Sebastian looked at me. He whispered the words sorry. He hugged me and said in my ear so that I could only hear, “You don’t deserve this especially from your own mother. But I have to go love. I will text you I promise.”

•••
When Sebastian left my mom and I got in a big argument. We were screaming at each other for about an hour or so. I told her she was an obnoxious drunk and she called me a disappointment to the world and told me I should kill myself just like my best friend. My mom said Sammy had the right idea.
I was upstairs. I had taken a nap, so I didn’t check my phone. I rolled over and flipped my phone open. There weren’t any messages. I was sad about that. Maybe he’s busy I thought to myself. I’ll just wait.
Four more hours went by. Still no text.