LITTLE GIRL LOST - SARAH BETH LEE (tharntype novel english .TXT) 📗

wanted to have my say on whom it would be. I know this sounds barbaric and crude but that was how was. Your father was in a similar situation so we agreed to marry. He had told me that his only condition for marrying me was that he wanted kids. I was a selfish girl and the last thing I wanted was to be saddled down with children. Your father was perfect in every way and I did grow to love him and I tried to get pregnant but I was barren and unable to have children. I was devastated to not be able to give him the one thing he wanted more than anything else. After exhausting every option we hired a surrogate who would conceive with his sperm and carry his child. I know it wasn’t your fault but I held it against you for so long that you were his daughter but not mine. I know you never understood and you’ve spent your entire life trying to understand how your mother could not love you. I was so jealous of you and the attention and love that your father had for you. When he brought you home everything changed and it was as if I didn’t even exist anymore and I know if I had just talked to him things might have been different but I was too stubborn. I am so sorry Hannah for not being the mother you needed. I hope you will forgive me. I have spent the past seventeen years trying to pretend that I was happy and that I was okay but I miss him every day and I am tired of lying to myself.”

Veronica was holding Hannah’s hand in a death grip as the tears poured from her eyes. Hannah didn’t know what to say. She had always thought she was unlovable for why else would her own mother hate her so much? Now she had to deal with the fact that Veronica wasn’t her real mother and that somewhere out there was a woman who was her mother. Her mind was whirling with thoughts what was she like? Did she think about Hannah? Did she know who She was? Did she have brother s and sisters out there? She was overwhelmed with this one little fact that changed everything including who she had always thought she was. She wondered if maybe she wasn’t broken after all, just misunderstood by growing up with a woman who was no relation to her at all.

“Veronica I understand how you must have felt and I am so sorry for that but do you have any idea who my real mother is or was?’

Veronica gave her a weak smile. “Hannah I have made such a mess of everything and I should have told you after your father died the truth about your birth. I think maybe you would’ve had a happy childhood had you known but I thought that maybe by having Maddie next door and you spending so much time with her and her family that maybe you would figure it out on your own.”

Hannah had no idea what Veronica was rambling about what could Maddie and her family possibly have to do with her? She looked at Veronica waiting for an answer. “Veronica just tell me the truth you owe me at least that.”

Veronica stood to her feet and began to pace around the room, lost in her own thoughts. She stood at the window that faced Kathleen Jacob’s house. Veronica began to speak in a low voice that was etched in pain.

“It’s no secret I never liked Kathleen or her nosy little daughter. I knew the first time I laid eyes on Madeline that she was related to your father that complexion, those enigmatic hazel eyes and her curiosity it was all just like him. I was so sure that he had an affair with Kathleen and not only that but he had moved her in next door to flaunt it in my face. I hated her and every time I saw Madeline it was like salt in an open wound.

I remember the day you brought her here for the first time and I was so devastated that I didn’t leave my room for days. I loved your father so much but the story he told was so out there that I never believed him until it was too late.

Hannah was clutching her hands and trying to stay calm. “What was the story Veronica?”

Veronica dropped the drapes and turned to look at Hannah. “Madeline Jacobs is your sister.”

Hannah felt light head as the floor began to spin under her feet. She couldn’t speak or move she felt her body falling as her head hit the floor her last thought was of Maddie, her father and who their mother might be.
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Kathleen Jacobs had stood at the bay window that looked out toward the Roberts estate and watched for Hannah’s car to arrive. She began to think of all the times over the years that she had been here and spent endless hours with Maddie. The two girls were so much alike and yet they didn’t even see it. They had the same petite frame and build, the same extraordinary hazel eyes that seemed to change color based on their mood. They had chestnut brown hair that as young girls had been cut the same way every august before school began. Of course they had developed their own sense of style but they still seemed to steer toward the same choices in makeup, hair and clothes.

Kathleen was brought of her random daydream by the sound of Hannah’s car pulling in next door. The sight of the beautiful young woman brought unshed tears to her eyes and she ached at the pain she could see on Hannah’s face as she climbed out of the car. She could see the wistful way she looked at the house and the fear that seemed to radiate from her forlorn eyes. She walked slowly along the cobblestone drive and she seemed overcome with grief, regret and nostalgia. Kathleen could see her clutching her throat as the tears began to fall and she wanted to run across the space that stood between them and pull Hannah into her arms. She wanted to tell her that everything was going to be alright and that it was time for her to come home.

Kathleen’s knees had grown week as she slid to the floor and rested her head on the window seat. She could feel the tears falling for all the years that had been lost and the lies that had been told. So many secrets that now seemed pointless, unnecessary and in the end very mean. She dried her eyes on her sleeve and tried to pull herself together as she heard footsteps pattering down the hall. She rose to her feet and glanced out the window once last time to see Hannah entering the house with Victoria.

Kathleen crossed the room and wondered which of her children had finally decided to get out of bed. She hadn’t bothered to wake them it was a Holiday after all and she still had a lot to do before dinner would be ready. She waited until she saw Maddie poke her head in the doorway. She could see the storms brewing in her eyes and she knew this day had just took a turn down a long a slippery slope. She knew that look in Maddie’s eyes she wanted answers and she wouldn’t stop until she had them. Kathleen wrung her hands together and wondered if it was time to tell the truth.

“Morning honey, is your brother still asleep?”

Maddie nodded, “Yeah I guess so. Mom we need to talk and please for the love of all that is good and holy tell me the truth.”

Kathleen reached for Maddie’s hand and nodded as they sat down on the couch. Kathleen knew that the time for answers was way overdue.
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Nick watched Zach and Beth in the front seat of the SUV as they talked and laughed about Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Al and whether or not they would even remember who they were. They were eccentric and always the life of any party. Nick watched the scenery outside his window as they drove past the open fields and country homes and he wondered where Hannah was and how she was doing. She was front and center in his mind because otherwise he would be consumed with memories of his last Thanksgiving with his parents, sisters and the announcement from his parents that in seven months there would be a new baby. He had hoped for a brother and the doctors had said it would be a boy. He had so much he wanted to show him and teach him but that fateful day had taken all his dreams and his family away. He shook off the depressing thoughts and listened as Zach tried to explain which of his family member might be the craziest and who to stay away from. Nick laughed at the description of Uncle Chester he was his mom’s grandmother’s brother and he was like ninety seven years old. He had thinning gray hair that he still tired to comb even though it tended to fall back exactly the same way. He was a spry old bird who still had his sane mind and would tell you stories for hours about growing up in the early 1900’s and what WW1 was really like not to mention black Friday and all the discoveries that had taken place over the span of his lifetime. What Zach liked most about Uncle Chester was the look in his eyes when he talked about Maybelline his wife of seventy years she had passed away ten years past and he still talked about sitting on the front porch drinking lemonade, laying by the creek bank and watching the sunset and of course the time she pushed him out of the old elm tree and broke his arm. Nick laughed as he listened to Zach talk and he wondered if he would ever have a life like that, memories like that and he knew that the only person he wanted to share a life like that with was Hannah.

Zach prattled on as Nick closed his eyes and dreamed of a day when he would sit with Hannah on a beach somewhere watching the seagulls as the sun as it dipped behind a perfect summer sky. The time when the sound of little feet would be pitter pattering