Making Circles - Vanessa Gilbert (recommended reading txt) 📗

still in the same position I was dropped in. Carter smiled, picked me up, moved me over, then laid down beside me and watched as I curled up beside him with my head resting on his chest and starring at my walls. My walls are a light, lavender purple, my floor a white bamboo, and a bunch of posters all around my room.
I have clothes on the floor and in some areas it’s piled waiting for me to throw it in the washer. I have my backpack full of stuff waiting for me to carry it on my back from class to class. I felt Carter wrap his arms around my waist and hold me to him as I slowly began to fall back under the water…and this time I wanted to drown. I listened as the pounding of Carters heart slowed and became just a faint pat-pat and then slowly I fell asleep with the sweet lullaby of Carters heart beating.
Chapter Three: Wakeup Call

My eyes slowly drifted open and as they did I knew something had changed from my sweet slumber in the beginning to now. I listened very carefully my eyes frozen in a half open half close state waiting for me to give the A-okay. I listened as carefully as possible but there was no sound...wait no sound….what happened to my heart beat lullaby. As soon as realization hit me I sat up and looked to see where the instrument for this lullaby had gone…where my Carter had gone.
“Carter,” I asked out to the darkness.
Silence fallowed as a response. I felt around the bed…felt the satin of my sheets…felt the coolness of the area where Carters was laying…felt the emptiness. I sighed to the darkness and threw myself back on the same spot with all my strength…I’m alone in my room. I stretched a bit then sat up and looked at my clock. The red digital lights switched…it is now officially 4:00 am.
I sighed at the emptiness that occupied my room and then decided to get up and do something I haven’t done since I was…well since like a few months ago. I looked down at the wrinkled white dress I still had on and smiled, he was sweet enough to let me sleep in my dress. I shook my head still smiling then stripped from the dress and began to search for some clothes.
I picked up my black skinny jeans that have holes up and down the legs starting high up the thigh then leading down to right below my knees. Well one part of clothing down…three more to go. I searched along my dirty floor…and then I remembered…Carter was in my room…my messy room…my room with bras and underwear piled. I turned bright red and sighed, “Great.” I kept searching and searching then finally found my black tight t-shirt that has a broken white heart over my real heart and in white letters on the back it says, “Find the Reason why…don’t let that reason go.”
Okay so two down…one more to go. I searched among the remains of clothes that where hopefully clean…maybe a bit questionable. Memories of last night faded in and out of my mind. The memory of Aunt Mary and I yelling at each other in front of everyone, me swimming down deeper and deeper into the depths of the pond, me…almost drowning…me going back to the house…me getting starred at…and finally me trying to break up with Carter…and instead just made out with him.
I sighed at the last memory and tried to forget it…tried to forget his mouth…his body…his warmth. I pushed the thoughts away and focused on just finding my shoes. “Aha there you are,” I said as I spotted my shoes.
I put my shoes on and then I tied up my laces swaying back and forth hoping that I don’t fall. After my shoes were tied on nice and tight I walked down out my room and towards the kitchen to go on a search for food. The flooring throughout the house is a pale tan carpet that matched the walls, which are white. I quickly stepped down the stairs and made my way quickly into the kitchen and over to the pantry. I opened the doors reached in and pulled out my Reese’s Pieces Puffs.
“Babe what are you doing up this early,” I heard a voice call from behind me.
I looked and standing at the mouth of the kitchen is Carter wearing a tight grey t-shirt, kind of baggy tight jeans, black and white high tops, and he had his new erring in his left ear. I smiled at him and found myself wanting to wrap my arms around him and just kiss him. He kept smiling at me and walked towards me with my cereal in my hands. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his body and kissed my gentle. I smiled and kissed back and then we pulled away and starred at each other, eyes locked.
“So are you going to answer my question or not,” Carter asked.
I smiled and laughed as I said, “Ha fine I’m up because my sweet lullaby wasn’t playing.”
Carter smiled and asked, “Is that an invitation?”
I could feel the blush rush to my face and I could feel the stupid smile of mine tug at the sides of my mouth. “Maybe it is…maybe it isn’t,” I said batting my eye lashes at him in an almost innocent way.
Carter smiled and then began to kiss me again…but this time with more passion. I kissed back, meeting his passion, and wrapping my arms around his neck to hold him to me. He had his arms still wrapped around my waist and holding me to his body. He pushed my back against a wall and picked me up so that I had to wrap my legs around his hips to keep balanced. His hands moved from my waist down to my thighs and butt as he kept kissing me. I blushed and let out a quiet moan…or as quiet as I could make it.
I could feel Carter…well apart of Carter grow hard and I began to blush more…if that was even possible. Carter moved away from the wall still holding me up by grabbing my butt and began to lead me up the stairs and back up to my room. Each step, each movement not only made me press more against Carter’s…um well Carter but made Carter hold me closer to his body. I suddenly fell through the air and landed on a bed…my bed…my soft warm bed…that soon would have a memory that I know later I will wish I could get rid of.
Carter laid on top of me and kept kissing me, his hands moving down and around my body. I let out several more moans hoping my parents didn’t hear…if they did we are SO died. Carter’s lips and mind moved as one as he nestled himself in between my legs and as his uh well his hardness poked me...and in a way I’ve never felt before. I felt Carter move his hand down to my area and begin to message the area. I blushed and moaned wanting him to stop but at the same time wanting him to never stop. I arched my back and kept moaning as Carter not only did what he was doing but as he began to kiss from my lips down. He made it to my neck and began to kiss and nibble on my neck.
I blushed and moaned a bit louder and as soon as I did I quickly sat up and grabbed Carter’s hand…listening to see if my mom or dad or both are on their way to my room. Carter smiled at me and laughed as he said, “Babe don’t worry they are completely and totally knocked out and even if they do wake up remember they are not right beside your room like before, they are way on the other side of the house.”
I smiled and said, “I know I’m just…I’m scared.”
Carter smiled and asked, “About what?”
I could feel my throat closing up and I could feel my body begin to tinkle. What was I scared of? Was I scared of losing him afterwards? Was I scared of…of feeling pain? I starred up at his face unable to explain the fear I felt…I just knew I have fear throughout my body. I closed my eyes and smiled as I said, “I…I don’t know.”
I felt lips suddenly crush against mine and soon I was forced back to lie down. I felt anxious hands moving up and down my body looking for something. I blushed and moaned but kept kissing Carter…hoping that if this did happen…if I did lose my virginity to him…that we would stay together. My arms locked tight around Carter’s neck and as if I had just said the magic words…words I dare would never say…he moved his hands down to my jeans and began to unbutton and unzip them. “Bark, bark, grr,” Cinnamon called out.
Carter and I pulled away from each other to see Cinnamon at the mouth of my room starring at us with knowledge of what we were going to do and disappointment that we were going to do it. I smiled at Cinnamon wanting to thank her but knew that it would be better if I thanked her when Carter wasn’t in the room with us. “Um, good girl, I’m leaving the room with my hands in the air,” Carter said to Cinnamon.
I laughed as Carter did as he promised and slowly back out of the room. As soon as Carter was gone, I sat up, fixed my clothes, fixed my hair, then pat the area in front of me for Cinnamon to come and join me on my bed. Cinnamon did her doggy smile at me then did as I asked and joined me up on my bed. I ran my fingers along with her fur and then rubbed the top of her head. She looked up at me with a look that said, “Stop missing with my hair.” I laughed and said, “Sorry girl.”
She smiled her doggy smile, I guess as an acceptance of my apology, then perked her ears up and just like a flash of lightening she bolted out my door and down the stairs. I sat up and called out after her, “Cinnamon?”
I listened as close as I could…so close I swear I could faintly hear a heartbeat that wasn’t my own. I waited in complete silence for what seemed hours…and then I heard the sound of glass breaking and Cinnamon barking. I leaped from my bed and ran down the stairs feeling like a blur and that no one could see me. I hit the bottom floor and saw my dog trapping Carter in a corner with a broken vase in front of him.
“Good doggy, nice doggy,” Carter said with hands up as if Cinnamon was going to kill him…well she might.
“Grr, bark, bark, grr,” Cinnamon screamed.
“Ah come on! Babe help me, please,” Carter said.
I smiled and leaned up