The Foundations of Personality - Abraham Myerson (best large ereader .txt) 📗
- Author: Abraham Myerson
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pointed out, are not so of ten destroyed as become obsolete.
[1] Lecky: “History of European Morals.” As he points out, the
belief in witchcraft never was disproved, it simply died because
science made it impossible to believe that witches could
disorganize natural laws.
It may seem as if imitation were a separate principle in mental
growth, and there have been many to state this. As is well known
Tarde made it a leading factor in human development. It seems to
me that it is linked up with desire for experience, desire for
fellowship, and also with a strongly competitive feeling, which
is early manifest in children and which may be called “a want of
what the other fellow has.” Children at the age of a year and up
may be perfectly pleased with what they have until they see
another child playing with something,—something perhaps
identical with their own. They then betray a decided,
uncontrollable desire for the other child’s toy; they are no
longer content with their own, and by one means or another they
seek to get it,—by forcible means, by wheedling or coaxing, or
by tormenting their parents. The disappearance of contentment
through the competitive feeling, the competitive nature of
desire, the role that envy plays in the happiness and effort of
man, is a thesis emphasized by every moralist and philosopher
since the beginning of things. In the strivings of every man,
though he admit it or not, one of the secret springs of his
energy is this law of desire, that a large part of its power and
persistence is in the competitive feeling, is in envy and the
wish to taste what others are experiencing.
A basic law of desire lies in an observation of Lotze, elaborated
by William James. We may talk of selfishness and altruism as if
they were entirely separate qualities of human nature. But what
seems to be true is that one is an extension of the other, that
is, we are always concerned with the ego feeling, but in the one
case the ego feeling is narrow and in the other case it includes
others as part of the ego. Lotze’s observations on clothes shows
that we expend ego feeling in all directions, that we tend to be
as tall as our top hats and as penetrating as our walking sticks,
that the man who has a club in his hand has a tactile sense to
the very end of the club. James in his marvelous chapter on the
various selves points out that a man’s interests and affections
are his selves, and that they enclose one another like the petals
of a rose. We may speak of unipetalar selves, who include only
their own bodies in self-feeling; of bipetalar selves who include
in it their families, and from there on we go to selves who
include their work, their community, their nation, until we reach
those very rare souls whose petals cover all living things. So
men extend their self-feeling, if ambitious, to their work, to
their achievements,—if paternal to their children; if domestic,
to wife and home; if patriotic to the nation, etc. Development
lies in the extension of the self-feeling and in the increase of
its intensity. But the obstacle lies in the competitive feelings,
in that dualism of man’s nature that makes him yearn not only for
fellowship, but also for superiority. These desires are in
eternal opposition, but are not necessarily antagonistic, any
more than are the thumb and the little finger as they meet in
some task, any more than are excitation and inhibition. Every
function in our lives has its check and balance, and fellowship,
yearning and superiority urge one another.
From the cradle to the grave, we desire fellowship as an addition
to our gregarious feeling. We ask for approval, for we expand
under sympathy and contract under cold criticism. Nothing is so
pleasant as “appreciation,” which means taking us at our own
valuation or adding to it,, and there is no complaint so common
as, “They don’t understand me,” which merely means, “They blame
me without understanding that I really seek the good, that I am
really good, though perhaps I seem not to be.” The child who
hurts its thumb runs to its mother for sympathy, and the pain is
compensated for, at least in part, by that sympathy. Throughout
life we desire sympathy for our hurts, except where that sympathy
brings with it a feeling of inferiority. To be helped by others
in one way or another is the practical result of this aspect of
fellowship.
(There is a convincing physical element in the feelings and
desires of man, evidenced in language and phrase. Superiority
equals aboveness, inferiority equals beneathness; sympathy equals
the same feeling. To criticize is to “belittle” and to cause the
feeling of littleness; to praise is “to make a man expand,” to
enlarge him. Blame hurts one’s feelings,—“He wounded me,” etc.)
At the same time we are strangely affected by the condition of
others. Where no competitive-jealousy complex is at work, we
laugh with other people in their happiness, we are moved to tears
by suffering; we admire vigor, beauty and the fine qualities of
others; we accept their purposes and beliefs; we are glad to
agree with the stranger or the friend and hate to disagree. We
establish within ourselves codes and standards largely because we
wish to accept and believe and act in the same way as do those we
want as fellows. Having set up that code as conscience or ideals,
it helps us to govern our lives, it gives a stability in that we
tend at once to resist jealousy, envy, the “wrong” emotions and
actions. “Helping others” becomes a great motive in life,
responding to misery with tears, consolation and kindness,
reacting to the good deeds of others with praise. To be generous
and charitable becomes method for the extension of fellowship.
Asking for help in its varied form of praise, appreciation and
kindness, giving help as appreciation and kindness, are the weak
and strong aspects of the fellowship feelings. It is a cynical
view of life, perhaps, but it is probably true that the weak
phase is more common and more constant than the second. Almost
everybody loves praise and appreciation, for these enlarge the
ego feeling, and some, perhaps most, like to be helped, though
here, as was above stated, there is a feeling of inferiority
aroused which may be painful. Relatively there are few who are
ready to praise, especially those with whom they are in close
contact and with whom they are in a sort of rivalry. The same is
true of genuine appreciation, of real warm fellow feeling; the
leader, the hero, the great man receives that but not the fellow
next door. As for giving, charity, kindness, these are common
enough in a sporadic fashion, but rarely are they sustained and
constant, and often they have to depend on the desire “not to be
outdone,” not to seem inferior,—have, as it were, to be shamed
into activity. For there is competition even in fellowship.
There are people, especially among the hysterics, who are deeply
wounded when sympathy is not given, when appreciation and praise
is withheld or if there is the suggestion of criticism. They are
people of a “tender ego,” not self-sustaining, demanding the help
of others and reacting to the injury sustained, when it is not
given, by prolonged emotion. These sensitive folk, who form a
most difficult group, do not all react alike, of course. Some
respond with anger and ideas of persecution, some with a
prolonged humiliation and feeling of inferiority; still others
develop symptoms that are meant to appeal to the conscience of
the one who has wounded them. On the other hand, there are those
whose feeling of self sustains them in the face of most
criticism, who depend largely upon the established mentor within
themselves and who seek to conform to the rulings of that inward
mentor. Such people, if not martyred too soon, and if possessed
of a fruitful ideal, lay new criteria for praise and blame.
Contrasting with the desires and purposes of fellowship we find
the desires and purposes of superiority and power. Primarily
these are based on what McDougall calls the instinct of
self-display, which becomes intellectualized and socialized very
early in the career of the child. In fact, we might judge a man
largely by the way he displays himself, whether by some
essentially personal bodily character, some essentially mental
attribute or some essentially moral quantity; whether he seeks
superiority as a means of getting power or as a means of doing
good; whether he seeks it within or without the code. One might
go on indefinitely, including such matters as whether he seeks
superiority with tact or the reverse and whether he understands
the essential shallowness and futility of his pursuit or not. To
be superior is back of most of striving, and it is the most
camouflaged of all human motives and pleasures. For this is true:
that the preaching of humility, of righteous conduct, of service,
of self-sacrifice, by religion and ethics have convinced man that
these are the qualities one ought to have. So men seek, whenever
they can, to dress their other motives and feelings in the garb
of altruism.
Camouflage of motive as a means of social approval has thus
become a very important part of character; we seek constantly to
penetrate the camouflage of our rivals and enemies and bitterly
resist any effort to strip away our own, often enough hiding it
successfully from ourselves. There are few who face boldly their
own egoism, and their sincerity is often admired. Indeed, the
frank child is admired because his egoism is refreshing, i. e.,
he offers no problem to the observer. Out of the uneasiness that
we feel in the presence of dissimulation and insincerity has
arisen the value we place on sincerity, frankness and honesty. To
be accused of insincerity or dishonesty of motive and act is
fiercely resented.
The desire for power and superiority will of course take
different directions in each person, according to his make-up,
teaching and the other circumstances of his life. Property as a
means of pleasure, and as a symbol of achievement and of personal
worth, is valued highly from the earliest days of the child’s
life. Very early does the child show that it prizes goods, shows
an acquisitive trend that becomes finally glorified into a goal,
an ambition. Money and goods become the symbol and actuality of
power, triumph, superiority, pleasure, safety, benevolence and a
dozen and one other things. Men who seek money and goods may
therefore be seeking very different things; one is merely
acquisitive, has the miser trend; another loves the game for the
game’s sake, picks up houses, bonds, money, ships, as a fighter
picks up trophies, and they stand to him as symbols of his
superiority. Some see in property the fulcrum by which they can
apply the power that will shift the lives of other men and make
of themselves a sort of God or Fate in the destinies of others.
For others, and for all in part, there is in money the safety
against emergencies and further a something that purchases
pleasure, whether that pleasure be of body, or taste or spirit.
Wine and women, pictures and beautiful things, leisure for
research and contemplation,—money buys any and all of these, and
as the symbol of all kinds of value, as the symbol of all kinds
of power, it is sought assiduously by all kinds of men.
There are many who start on their careers with the feeling and
belief that money is a minor value, that to be useful and of
service is greater than to be rich. But this idealistic ambition
in only
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