The Foundations of Personality - Abraham Myerson (best large ereader .txt) 📗
- Author: Abraham Myerson
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subsidiary aim it balances character, but unfortunately, as we
have before seen, it is inculcated as a primary aim early in the
life of a girl. True, men seek to be beautiful in a masculine
way, but the goal of masculine beauty is strength, which is
directly serviceable. This is not to say that there are no men
who are vain of their good looks, for there are many. But only
occasionally does one find a man who organizes his life efforts
to be beautiful, who establishes criteria of success or failure
on complexion, hair, features of face and lines of figure. So
long, therefore, as woman can obtain power through beauty and sex
appeal, so long may we expect a trivial trend in her character.
We have lost track of our hypothetical child in the history of
his character development, lost sight of him as he struggles in a
morass of desires and purposes of power, fellowship and
superiority. His situations become still more complex as we watch
him seek to unify his life around permanent purposes, against a
pestering, surging, recurring, temporary desire. He desires, let
us say, to conform to the restriction in sex, but as he
approaches adolescence, within and without stimuli of breathless
ardor assail him. He must inhibit them if he proposes to be
chaste, and his continent road is beset with never-resting
temptations. He calls himself a fool at times for resisting, and
his mind pictures the delights he misses—if not from direct
experience, from information he gathers in books and from those
who know—and if he yields, then self-reproach embitters him. But
correctly to portray the situation is to drop our hypothetical
adolescent, for here is where individual reaction and individual
situations are too varied to be met with in one case. Some do not
inhibit their sex desires at all; others resist now and then,
others yield occasionally; still others remain faithful to the
ideal. Some drop the conventional ideal and replace with
unconventional substitutes, some resist at great cost to
themselves, and others find no difficulty in resisting what is no
temptation at all to them. Passion, resistance, opportunity,
training and sublimation differ as remarkably as nuns differ from
prostitutes.
A similar situation is found in the work purposes. To work
steadily, with industry and unflagging effort, at something
perhaps not inherently attractive is not merely a measure of
energy,—it is a measure of inhibition and will. For there are so
many more immediate pleasures to be had, even if offering only
variety and relaxation. There is the country, there is the lake
for fishing; there is the dance hall where a pretty girl smiles
as your arm encircles her waist; there is the ball field where on
a fine day you may go and forget duty and strained effort in the
swirl of an enthusiasm that emanates from the thousands around
you as they applaud the splendid athletes; there is the good
fellowship and pleasure that beckon as you bend to a task. To
shut these out, to inhibit the temporary “good” for the permanent
good, is the measure of character.
These sex and work situations we must take up in detail in
separate chapters. What is important is that as life goes on,
necessity, the social organization and gradual concentration of
energy canalize the purposes, reduce the power of the irrelevant
and temporary desires. Habit and custom bring a person into
definite relationship with society; the man becomes husband,
father, worker in some definite field of industry; ambition
becomes narrowed down to the possibilities or is entirely
discarded as hopeless. The character becomes a collection of
habits, with some controlling purpose and some characteristic
relaxations. This at least is true of the majority of men. Here
and there are those who have not been able to form a unification
even along such simple lines; they are without steady habits,
derelicts morally, financially and socially, or if with means
independent of personal effort they are wastrels and idlers. And
again there are the doers and thinkers of the world, the
fortunate, whose lives are associated with successful purposes,
whose ambitions grow and grow until they reach the power of which
they dreamed. There are the reformers living in a fever heat of
purpose, disdaining rest and relaxation, dangerously near
fanaticism and not far from mental unbalance, but achieving
through that unbalance things the balanced never have the will to
attempt. He who works merely to get rich or powerful or to
provide food for his family cannot understand the zealots who see
the world as a place where SOMETHING MUST happen,—where slavery
MUST be abolished, women MUST have votes, children MUST go to
school until sixteen, prostitution MUST disappear, alcohol MUST
be prohibited, etc. Such people miss the pretty, pleasant
relaxing joys of life, but they gain in intensity of life what
they lose in diffuseness.
This war of the permanent unified purposes versus the temporary
scattering desires—the power of inhibition —is involved in the
health and vigor of the person. Disease, fatigue and often enough
old age show themselves in lowered purpose, in the failure of the
will (in the sense of the energy of purpose), in a scattering of
activity. Indeed, in the senile states one too often sees the
disappearance of moral control where one least expected it. And
one of the greatest tragedies of our times occurred when an
elderly statesman, on the brink of arterial disease of the brain,
lost the strength and firmness of purpose that hitherto had
characterized him. One of the worst features of the government of
nations is the predominance of old men in the governing bodies.
For not only are they apt to have over-intellectualized life,
not only have they become specialists in purpose and therefore
narrow, but the atrophy of the passions and desires of youth and
middle life has rendered them unfit to legislate for the bulk of
the race, who are the young and middle-aged. It is no true
democracy where old age governs the rest of the periods of life.
Unification of purpose often goes too far. Men lose sight of the
duties they owe to wife and family in their pursuit of wealth or
fame; they forget that relaxation and pleasure-seeking are normal
and legitimate aims. They deify a purpose; they attach it to
themselves so that it becomes more essentially themselves than
their religion or their family. They speak of their work as if
every letter were capitalized and lose sympathy and interest in
the rest of the wide striving world. Men grow hard, even if
philanthropists, in too excessive a devotion to a purpose, and
soon it is their master, and they are its slaves. Happy is he who
can follow his purpose efficiently and earnestly, but who can
find interest in many things, pleasure in the wide range of joys
the world offers and a youthful curiosity and zest in the new.
Every human being, no matter how civilized and unified, how
modern and social in his conduct, has within him a core of
uncivilized, disintegrating, ancient and egoistic desires and
purposes. “I feel two natures struggling within me” is the
epitome of every man’s life. This is what has been called
conflict by the psychoanalysts, and my own disagreement with them
is that I believe it to be distinctly conscious in the main. A
man knows that the pretty young girls he meets tempt him from his
allegiance to his wife and his desires to be good; a woman knows
that the prosaic husband no longer pleases, and why he does not
please,—only if you ask either of them bluntly and directly they
will deny their difficulties. The organic activities of the body,
basic in desire of all kinds, are crude and give rise to crude
forbidden wishes, but the struggle that goes on is repressed,
rebelled against and gives rise to trains of secondary
symptoms,—fatigue, headache, indigestion, weariness of life and
many other complaints. It is perfectly proper to complain of
headache, but it is a humiliation to say that you have chosen
wrongly in marriage, or that you are essentially polygamous, or
that an eight-hour day of work at clerking or bookkeeping
disgusts and bores you. People complain of that which is proper
and allows them to maintain self-respect, but they hide that
which may lower them in the eyes of others. Gain their
confidence, show that you see deeper than their words and you get
revelations that need no psychoanalytic technique to elicit and
which are distinctly conscious.
This brings me to the point that the constant inhibition,
blocking and balking of desires and wishes, though in part
socially necessary and ethically justifiable, is decidedly
wearisome, at times to all, and to many at all times. It seems so
easy and pleasant to relax in purposes, in morals, in thought, to
be a vagrant spirit seeking nothing but the pleasures right at
hand; to be like a traditional bee flitting from the rose to rose
of desire. (Only the bee is a decidedly purposive creature, out
for business not pleasure.) “Why all this striving and
self-control?” cries the unorganized in all of us. “Why build up
when Death tears down?” cries the pessimist in our hearts. Great
epochs in history are marked by different answers to these
questions, and in our own civilization there has grown up a
belief that bodily pleasure in itself is wrong, that life is
vanity unless yoked to service and effort. The Puritan idea that
we best serve God in this way has been modified by a more
skeptical idea that we serve man by swinging our efforts away
from bodily pleasure and toward work, organized to some good end;
but essentially the idea of inhibition, control, as the highest
virtue, remains. Such an ideal gains force for a time, then grows
too wearisome, too extreme, and a generation grows up that throws
it off and seeks pleasure frankly; paints, powders, dances,
sings, develops the art of “living,” indulges the sense; becomes
loose in morals, and hyperesthetic and over-refined in tastes.
Then the ennui, boredom and disgust that always follow sensual
pleasures become diffuse; happiness cannot come through the
seeking of pleasure and excitement and anhedonia of the exhausted
type arises. Preachers, prophets, seers and poets vigorously
proclaim the futility of pleasure, and the happiness of service;
inhibition comes into its own again and a Puritan cycle
recommences. Stoic, epicurean; Roman republic, Roman empire;
Puritan England, Restoration; Victorian days, early twentieth
century; for to-day we are surging into an era of revolt against
form, custom, tradition; in a word against inhibition.
As with periods, so with people; self-indulgence, i. e.,
indulgence of the passing desires, follows the idealism of
adolescence. Youth sows its wild oats. Then the steadying
purposes appear partly because the pleasure of indulgence passes.
Marriage, responsibility, straining effort mark the passing of
ten or a dozen years; then in middle life, and often before,
things get flat and without savor, monotony creeps in and a
curiosity as to the possibilities of pleasure formerly
experienced is awakened. (I believe that most of the sexual
unfaithfulness in men and women over thirty springs not from
passion but from curiosity.)
There occurs a dangerous age in the late thirties and early
forties, one in which self-indulgence makes itself clamorous. The
monotony of labor, the fatigue of inhibition make themselves
felt, and at this time men (and women) need to add relaxation and
pleasure of a legitimate kind. Golf, the fishing trip, games of
all kinds; legitimate excitement which need not be inhibited is
necessary. This need of excitement without inhibition is behind
most of the gambling and card playing; it explains the
extraordinary attraction of the detective story and the thrilling
movies; it gives great social value to the prize fight and the
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