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most reported it occurring to them both online and in-person. Victims of unwanted pursuit behavior were also more likely to report being a victim of some form of interpersonal violence as well as depression and posttraumatic symptoms. 

 

Types of unwanted behavior most likely to lead to mental health issues included: being sent an excessive number of texts/posts; asking mutual friends for personal information; and sending threatening messages.  Interestingly enough, there seemed little difference whether these behaviors occurred in person or online.  Even for participants who experienced cyber-stalking alone, excessive or threatening messages were strongly linked to later development of posttraumatic or depressive symptoms.

 

For in-person unwanted pursuit behavior, the two factors that seemed to have the greatest emotional impact on women were: indications of active pursuit (either following the person targeted or showing up unexpectedly) and aggression (threatening or committing actual violence towards the target, her property, or those close to her).  As for unwanted cyber-pursuit, participants were most likely to report emotional distress after receiving an excessive number contacts or posts, or else when pursuers made use of active surveillance or GPS and/or posting revealing images of the target online. 

While previous studies have already shown the negative impact of in-person and cyber-stalking on targeted women, these study results go further in showing the cumulative impact of unwanted behaviors that have been underresearched up to now.  Though the participants in this study were all young, undergraduate women from a single Midwest university, the traumatic impact of this kind of post-relationship pursuit behavior is very similar to what has been reported in numerous other studies on stalking and harassment over the years. 

 

Along with recognizing study limitations, Dardis and her co-authors acknowledge that more research is needed to study the long-term consequences of in-person and cyber-harassment as well as the kind of harassing behavior reported  by other population groups (including males and females in other age groups).   

 

Still, these results demonstrate the need for better intervention programs to help victims of post-relationship bullying/cyberbullying. For example, those stalking victims still in school (whether college or high school) can benefit from safe spaces being established where they can feel free to disclose what has been happening to them.  School health staff (especially nurses and counselors) can also screen for signs of relationship violence as well as providing counseling to address posttraumatic stress and depression. Also, since many victims may not recognize unwanted pursuit behavior as stalking, screening instruments to question victims about whether they have been targeted by unwanted pursuit behaviors (such as the ones described in this study) can be used as well.  

 

As for dealing with the pursuers themselves, education can be essential,  especially for those pursuers who may not even recognize that their unwanted pursuit behavior is upsetting to their targets.  Education programs can also help promote greater awareness of issues surrounding unwanted pursuit behavior and its role in preventing later episodes of sexual or relationship violence. And there is also a need for greater vigilance in policing online social platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, to identify instances of cyberstalking and to provide greater safety for targets online.

In an era of increasing anonymity, electronic surveillance, and social media, the opportunities for unwanted pursuit behavior seem greater than ever.  But the political and social will for developing real solutions for this kind of stalking behavior is stronger than ever as well.  Finding better solutions and putting them into effect is an essential first step.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 9 - I love Fucking Myself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

- We watch this shit... it's one sided thing... but in the end we end up... something like

 

 

 

 

...

 

So it's awful thing... you think that you are getting something... you are getting somewhere... but in the end you don't get anywhere...

 

...


Just look it from the true side... not from the illusion... which keeps you awake at night!

 

 

 

 

 

Note: Life is not like stroking a cock...

you can spit on it... somebody can touch it... you can touch it... you can go up and down few times...

 

 

...

But life is not like this

 

...

It's endless cycle of ups and downs

...

You can't touch life

You can't spit on it...

 

...

Life is all about connection... porn is all about getting pleasure...

 

 

Pleasure and connection are two different... rounds!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....

 

 

P.S.: People should stop putting too much value on someone....

 

 

 

Interview with dating expert Kezia Noble

 

 

 

 

 

Kezia runs kezia-noble.com, she is one of the worlds leading dating experts and has helped over 100,000 men to overcome a multitude of sticking points and limiting beliefs.

 

You are known to give insightful and unapologetically honest advice. What’s one important truth that you teach your students when it comes to social life?

 

Never to become too available! It sounds kind of counterintuitive, because if you want to grow your social circle and make friends and connections, then yes, in the early stages you do have to be very proactive and say “yes” to a lot of invitations, even if you can’t be bothered or don’t really want to. However, at some point, you need to know when to value your time more wisely. People generally don’t like hanging out with loners or people who are just that a bit ‘too keen’ to come along to any gathering. This essentially comes down to the ‘abundancy’ attraction trigger. A person who is in demand in any area of their life will be perceived to have a higher level of value. Your presence will be appreciated a lot more if you don’t give it away too easily.

 

What piece of information or habit has had the most positive effect on your life socially the last years?

 

To be the last to arrive and the first to leave. Again, this goes back to the ‘abundancy’ mentality. Being someone who has little time and/or whose time is precious, creates an aura of high value. Everyone wants to connect with someone who is in demand.

I have also learned that humor can be the best solution when faced with nearly every unwanted social predicament. A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

 

Are there similarities between the advice you give on attraction and the advice given to people who want to improve their social life?

 

Absolutely. The attraction spectrum is very wide. Whether we use attraction in a sexual way, or use attraction to accumulate business, trust, and friends, the attraction principles remain the same. Demonstrating high value, having an abundance attitude, coming across as unapologetically genuine, being able to connect on an emotional and psychological level via verbal and non-verbal communication, listening, reading others and situations with accuracy, and of course having the confidence and self-belief to take action.

 

If you could restart your life knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

 

The changes I would have made in the past in regard to my social life, would NOT include avoiding the people I had chosen to spend my time with, even if some of them had a negative influence on me at the time, they are still played an important and ultimately positive role in many ways. By spending time with ‘Losers’ or ‘Energy vampires’ (for lack of a better expression) It has served to give me the ability to spot these kinds of characters very quickly and filter them out efficiently and pragmatically.

 

However, I do feel that my unconditional honesty could have been a bit more sugar-coated sometimes. Not everyone really wants to hear ‘your truth (even if they pay lip service to it that they do) sometimes people just want to hear something that makes them a feel better, and now that I’m older (and hopefully a little wiser) I can see that I didn’t read situations or agendas correctly, and really should have known when it was socially and emotionally appropriate to unleash my unfiltered opinion and when to have just backed down and offer well-meaning sentiments instead.

 

This is why I love what I do, because the men who come to me for advice really don’t want nice sounding sentiments, and make it clear that they want the full on no holds barred advice, feedback, and insights that will help them to take the right steps.

 

 

What’s your best advice to someone who tends to overthink social interaction?

 

I actually think it is important to be aware of what you’re saying and how you are behaving in social interactions because first impressions to amount to a lot. Overthinking is obviously not something that I encourage, but nor is underthinking. You should want to present the best version of yourself, and some people can do this effortlessly, but some people can’t, the ones who struggle usually end up coming across as guarded and quiet or if they’re a natural extrovert they will overcompensate and become overbearing, in which case thinking through stories, anecdotes, non verbal communication behaviours are key, and it’s essential to be able to observe people’s micro reactions, by observing others, you automatically take the pressure off getting too stuck in your own head or caught up in your own private reality.

 

What kind of person should visit your site?

 

Any man who is serious about getting more comfortable with women. The team and I have helped men of all different ages, of a wide spectrum of social statuses and from many different cultural backgrounds. Whether you want to overcome approach anxiety, become a better conversationalist, make sincere and impactful connections, get out of the friend zone or learn how to flirt with women you are attracted to, we can help. We have over a decade of experience and have helped increase the success rate of every single man who comes to us. Get started with this article about things you should NEVER say to a girl.

 

 

Via SocialPro (Website... so far the website... is not useful if we start going deeper... if your thinking is reading cliches... go for it... but in reality no value you are going to get.)

 

 

 

 

Comedians say shit and don't get easily offended...

It's time  you to start saying shit and less give a fuck! 

 

Chapter 9.1 - Exercises

- I am piece of shit... I won't lie in this... it's a big event!

 

 

 

 

 

 

1) Lay Down

 

 

Mall

 

 

 

 

 

Shop

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Street

 

 

 

 

 

It's now time go into a place where there is too much pressure... and too much people... and to get rid of the pressure... lay down on the street like

 

 

 

 

 

for 30 seconds or 1 minute... and just stay down... CHILL.... CHILLL

 

...

 

 

CHILLL

 

 

 

 

 

 

- You can lay

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