How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #2) - DeYtH Banger, Clive Cooper (read me like a book .TXT) 📗

How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #2)

by DeYtH Banger

Quotes

 People always seem to care... "What next to say?", "How to say it?", "When to say it?", "So what next?", "Are you sure?"

- DeYtH Banger

 

 

 

You are there now... let's talk... you pee yourself... don't be ahame of it... or get offended... just start insulting like a biatch... don't give a fuck about the place. Just do it ... louder and louder... once you do it... you are already ready to become a badass.

- DeYtH Banger

 

 

 

All rooms have secrets... if you want to don't get a customer... start talking... with the guy who is around the door... the guy who is in the shop and the guy who is selling products... once you do that... they don't see you as customer... but if you want progress... you need to be more often there.

- DeYtH Banger

 

 

 

 

 

“The audience are likely to remember only three things from your presentation or speech” 
― Stephen Keague, The Little Red Handbook of Public Speaking and Presenting

 

 

 

“Be the kind of person who is a joy to be around. Caring for and loving others brings out the best in you and keeps your heart open to the unspoken and deeply buried needs of others.” 
― Farshad Asl, The "No Excuses" Mindset: A Life of Purpose, Passion, and Clarity

 

 

“Transformation takes place within us when we learn to be intentional and go from focusing on me to others, success to significance, limited to limitless, and scarcity to abundance.” 
― Farshad Asl, The "No Excuses" Mindset: A Life of Purpose, Passion, and Clarity

 

 

“Don't let toxic people sabotage your happiness, ruin your positive attitude, contaminate your mind or destroy your self-confidence. Instead, surround yourself with generous, positive, and nurturing people who will lift you up.” 
― Farshad Asl

 

 

“The Five C's of Coaching: 
1- Clarity 
2- Communication
3- Collaboration 
4- Commitment 
5- Culture” 
― Farshad Asl

 

 

 

“A leader must stand up for his team even when he has to stand alone.” 
― Farshad Asl

 

 

 

“Be fast, be first, but never be alone. Nothing can replace the value of teamwork.” 
― Farshad Asl

 

 

 

“We often settle for what's available and what's available isn't always great. You are destined to achieve greatness!” 
― Farshad Asl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Content

How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #2)

 

 

 

Quotes

 

 

Part 1

 

Chapter 1 - Honesty (Part 1) Chapter 1.1 - Honesty (Part 2) Chapter 2 - Shyness Chapter 2.1 - Honesty (Part 3) Chapter 2.2. - Honesty (Part 4) Chapter 3 - Experience (Part 1) Chapter 4 - Porn (Part 1) Chapter 5 - Goes like Chapter 6 - Action Chapter 6.1. - Action (Part 2)

 

 

 

Part 2

 

 

 

Chapter 1 - Action (Part 3) Chapter 2 - Secret  Chapter 3 - Secret (Part 2) Chapter 4 - Lies Chapter 4.1 - Lies (Part 2) Chapter 5 - Anxiety (Getting Out) Chapter 5.1. - Nasty Women Chapter  6 - Truth Chapter 6.1 - Truth (Part 2) Chapter 7 - Understanding Depression Chapter 7.1 - It's like a Fantasy 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 3 

 

 

 

Chapter 7.2 - It's like a Fantasy (Part 2) Chapter 8 - Fuck You Chapter 8.1. - Fuck You (Part 2) Chapter 8.2. - Fuck You (Part 3) Chapter 9 - I love Fucking Myself Chapter 9.1. - Exercises  Chapter 9.2 - I love Fucking Myself (Part 2)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 1

 Shit starts... when you say it starts

 

 

 

Chapter 1 - Honesty (Part 1)

 5 Action Steps When You Don’t Know What to Say

 

 

 

We’ve all been there.

We all hate it.

We all know the feeling.

When you don’t know what to say, or you’re about to run out of stuff to say, you can feel it, right?

Maybe you’re talking with someone you’ve already met once or twice when you run out of the obvious “getting to know you” type chat.

Or you had something in mind to say next but suddenly, poof! You forget what it was, the other person stops talking and the awkward silence starts to build.

When stuff like that happens to me, I begin to feel a little sick to my stomach.

I have a tiny freak out thinking, “No, not again! I don’t want ANOTHER person to think I’m quiet and boring!”

We all want a way out of that humiliating silence.

So here’s a 5-step process to help you come up with the words you need when you don’t know what to say.

 

 

 

 

 

Step 1: Don’t Fight Anxiety…Accept It and Act Through It

 

When your conversation with someone is winding down and you don’t know where to take it next, you usually feel a mild panic.

(Or maybe it’s not so mild.)

It’s almost the exact same anxiety as when you want to talk to someone new but can’t think of how to start.

In either case, your instinct is typically to suppress that fear.

You try to think “positive” thoughts like, “NO, there’s no reason to panic.” Or you try to pump yourself up saying, “I’m great. I’m awesome. I’m a rockstar!”

Well…that doesn’t really work does it?

You usually don’t feel any more confident and you still don’t have anything to say.

It’s like the harder you fight back that anxiety, the worse it feels and the harder it is to think of a conversation topic.

So, try this instead…

Don’t fight it.

 

 

 

I find that when I acknowledge the truth, that at the moment I can’t think of anything to say and it’s got me a little worried, it takes some pressure off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This doesn’t mean my anxiety goes away completely.

No, it’s still there.

The point is, if you “fight” your anxiety and “try to be confident” or think to yourself, “I’m not going to be afraid this time,” you’re making things worse.

You’re putting more energy into your anxiety by thinking about it so much, even though you’re thinking how you don’t want it.

All that does is give it more power. Like a Chinese Finger Trap, the more you struggle against anxiety, the harder it squeezes.

So instead, accept that you’re anxious. Realize it’s a human emotion and it is OK to feel it.

It’s not “bad.” It just is.

You don’t have to be ashamed of feeling the way you feel.

Just do your best to act in spite of anxiety by focusing on some of the more constructive actions below (instead of focusing on your fear).

 

Step 2: Change Your Perspective to Be More Realistic

 

Many shy and socially uncomfortable people have completely irrational beliefs about conversation. This is a problem because it creates more anxiety and ultimately keeps you quiet when you want to talk.

For example, think of a social setting now where you feel uncomfortable. One where you’d have no idea what to talk about.

 

 

 

 

 

Now, it’s easy to only focus on yourself and your own “inadequacies” when you’re in this situation.You think everyone else is cool and confident and you’re not.

Suddenly you feel insignificant and powerless, and that’s no place to have good conversations from.

But let’s Spock out and get logical for a second…

Is it realistic to believe you’re the ONLY one feeling insecure?

C’mon…just from watching movies and reading stories, you know that everyone has self-esteem issues to some degree. That’s why we can relate to our favorite fiction characters…because they seem to have fears, weaknesses and self-doubt just like we do.

That’s because the best fiction mimics real human experience. All humans have some degree of self-doubt.

 

So use this common sense knowledge to your advantage next time you’re nervous.

Remember the other people around you are likely feeling their own insecurities too. They might even be wishing THEY could come up with something to say to you.

I find when I remember this, I feel more connected to the people around me AND more confident in myself.

And this is all from just consciously having a more realistic attitude about socializing.

 

 

 

What other unrealistic beliefs on conversation do you have?

Do you think you should be able to know exactly what to say in ALL situations? Do you believe you must get to the point where you never make a social mistake again?

Are either of those realistic beliefs? (…just to be on the safe side here, no, they aren’t)

Root these irrational thoughts out and think of realistic alternatives to use in the moment to empower you.

 

Step 3: Start Being Observant

 

So you’ve accepted your anxiety and gotten your thoughts on track, but how do you actually come up with something to say when you’re drawing a blank?

Well, the quickest way is by looking around and commenting on what you observe.

What do you notice about him or her that stands out?

Is it something they’re wearing? Maybe it’s something they’re doing or just said?

What stands out about the surrounding’s you’re both in?

If you’re at a wedding, maybe ask if they’ve tried the cake. At a friend’s party, ask the person how he or she knows the host.

The attitude to have is that you’re fishing. You’re throwing out possible conversation topics to see what ones get a bite.

Eventually, you’re bound to dangle a subject in front of them that’ll get more than a few “nibbles.”

 

Step 4: Use Their Responses to Keep Things Going

 

Keep