A Sign from the Star - Lisa Kuhbander (pride and prejudice read .txt) 📗

The Sales Pitch

 

“Over here, please,” she shouted down to Norbert from high upon the hilltop. “I found the perfect spot, quiet and away from all the distractions.” 

 

Just like a well-trained dog, eager to please, Norbert sprinted up the hill.  He took a moment to catch his breath, then quickly set up his camera and looked through the viewer. 

 

“Looks good.  Ready? Action.”

 

“Hey guys, welcome to my channel.  Anyone out there wanting to lose weight, look no more, because I have the perfect solution.  No pills, no exercise, no equipment needed. And to top it off, you can have all the candy you want.  Yes, that’s right, all the candy you want. Results guaranteed.” 

 

She motioned for Norbert to move in for a close-up.  The camera revealed a stunning view of Angelica, her tight-fitting apparel revealing her perfectly tanned and fit body.  The camera then zoomed in on her face, revealing a flawless complexion, long glistening dark hair, a dazzling white smile, and, of course, those electrifying blue eyes. Angelica continued, “So if you want to be thin, beautiful and healthy like me, simply send in $19.95, and I will email you step-by-step instructions.  Don’t delay, act now.”

 

 Norbert gave her a “thumbs up.”

 

“Woohooo!,” Angelica exclaimed, as she clenched her fists and jumped for joy.  “I can’t wait to post the video!.”

 

Norbert scratched his head.  “Your presentation was extraordinary, but I still am quite, uh, perplexed by the concept.” 

 

 “Trust me, you’ll see.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Study Partners

 

Spring arrived in the small town of Pinkerton.  It was a welcome change after the long harsh winter. People were out and about.  The town was alive again.

 

It was a conservative town.  Most all activities revolved around school, college and church.  Parents expected their children to stay out of trouble, attend church, attend college and live happily ever after.  Angelica’s parents wanted all that for her and more, for she was their only child. They spoiled her rotten. 

 

Angelica was a beautiful child and learned at an early age how to capitalize on her good looks. Beautiful in every way, but it was her eyes, bright blue and shining, that were by far her best feature. Her eyes were spellbinding, and so expressive that they could almost talk.

 

 As she grew older, she developed a talent for sales.  She used that skill to start her own youtube channel. Cosmetic manufacturers from all over would send her samples.  Angelica would test the products and give her honest opinion. Her review would help make or break a product. She had a large following on her channel.  Her viewers would often count on her reviews to guide them.

 

While Angelica made a good commission selling beauty products, she aspired to start her own business - A business that would prove to be very lucrative, that would skyrocket her to fame and fortune, far away from this sleepy town.of Pinkerton.  She had the plan, and she knew Norbert would assist her.

 

Of all the men attracted to Angelica, none was more smitten than Norbert.  So when Angelica asked him to bring his camera and meet her at the park, Norbert was delighted to oblige. With his slight build, thick oversized glasses, mismatched clothes, antisocial personality, Norbert was considered the typical nerd.  Highly intellectual, he preferred books to people. In his 25 years, girls did not even cross his mind. 

 

But all that changed when he spotted Angelica as he first entered his business analysis class.  One look in those eyes and he knew he had to meet her. He was painfully shy, though. Nevertheless, he found the courage to take a seat closer to her.  Then, one day she was struggling with a particularly difficult homework assignment, and she asked for his help. They then grew to be study partners. 

 

But not only was Norbert painfully shy, just one look deeply into her eyes would transform him into a blundering fool.  Although he tried very hard to disguise his feelings and keep his cool, it would always happen.

 

But Angelica grew to like Norbert.   Other guys would often smother her with pick-up lines.  She felt comfortable with him, and she didn’t really mind his nervous, quirky ways.  Besides, he was always at her beckon call. She would be needing him often, as she was a high maintenance girl.

Heading Home

Norbert packed up his camera and headed down the hill.

 

“Oh, and could you upload the video file and send it to me please?,” she asked ever so sweetly.

 

“Certainly,” he replied.

 

He followed behind as they walked, until they nearly reached the bottom.

 

“May I,” Norbert started to say.

 

Angelica unexpectedly turned around and their eyes met.  He found himself only inches away from her. He froze, unable to move, barely able to speak. 

 

“May I uh, uh”

 

“Give you a ride you home, you mean?”

 

Norbert managed to nod his head.  His mouth hung open, shoulders slumped, as he stood there staring, fascinated by her eyes and her beautiful face.

 

“I’ve got a ride.  See ya,” she replied in a rush.

 

Norbert fought back tears as he watched her leave.  Why must I look so foolish? This time I really blew it, he thought.  He wiped his chin, hoping he wasn’t drooling too much.  Sadly, he waved good-bye, thinking it would be for good.

The Favor

Later that night, Angelica’s loyal viewers, enticed by her great beauty and her promises, sent in their money.  Soon her site was flooded with orders, and they continued to come in throughout the night. She spent the night sending out her email instructions until she finished every last one.  Excited but exhausted, she fell asleep. 

 

But that excitement was short-lived.  The next day, as she checked her site, she could almost hear the angry reviewers screaming at her from the screen, “This weight loss plan is a joke.  Angelica, you got it wrong this time!” said one. “I want my money back,” said another. As she continued to scroll down the page, she saw much more of the same type of reviews.

 

Feeling defeated, she sighed as she stared at the screen.  The plan works.  Why can’t they see it?  Angelica paused to think about it.  She decided to be encouraging but firm.   “Sorry, no refunds,” she posted. “This plan is proven to work if you continue to stick with it.  Stick with it and you won’t need a refund!”

 

Angelica thought some more and came up with an idea.  She searched her wallet and found the address to Norbert’s off-campus apartment.  In a rush, she headed there.  

 

As she entered his apartment complex, she “turned heads,” even casually dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and no make-up.  Onlookers stared. Neighbors looked through their peepholes. 

 

Norbert opened the door to find Angelica, looking like an angel from heaven, standing just inches away from him.  Immediately his mouth dropped, his eyes opened wide, and his knees grew weak, very weak. He tried to step back to a comfortable distance, but he lost his balance and fell to the ground.  Then he looked away and took a deep breath, recovering. 

 

“Wow, ah Angelica, how honored I am with your presence.  Please come in, madam,“ as he gestured inside.

 

Angelica stepped inside his apartment for the first time, looking around at all the clutter and mismatched décor.  The walls were an array of posters, record collections, and books.

 

“Norbert, your apartment is so, uh interesting.”

 

“Óh, you have yet to feast your eyes upon my most prized collection,” he said proudly as he pointed to the left wall.

 

She gasped.  It was a framed display, almost as big as the wall itself, displaying just about every type of insect imaginable.  In the middle, was the biggest, most disgusting life-like spider. She could see every detail - the thick, hairy banded legs, beady black eyes staring back at her. Feeling pale and nauseous, she quickly turned the other way.

 

“Please, have a seat over here on the couch, away from the insects.  Sorry.”

 

She sat there a moment, catching her breath. 

 

“So, Norbert, why the interest with insects?”

 

“Insects are fascinating creatures of the earth.  Not everyone has such an appreciation of them as I.   Did you know their segmentation consists of a head, thorax, and abdomen?  Their head is enclosed in an epicardium, which includes, the antennae, ocellus, and the mouth parts.  The thorax is composed of 3 sections, the metathorax, mesothorax and the prothorax. Their . .”  

 

“All right, all right,” she loudly interrupted, “I am not here for a science lesson,” she said sharply. She paused, then changed her tone, now speaking softly and sweetly.

 

“Norbert, I need a favor,” she pleaded.

 

“Anything you wish, madam.”

 

“I need you to log into your account, so I can pretend I’m you.  I need to write a glowing review for my weight loss program.”

 

“Step this way, madam,” he said, as he opened the door to his office.  Little did she know about the surprise lurking in his office.

The Commotion

 

In the