Her Love Fades... - Kerry Boo.. (books to read in a lifetime TXT) 📗

that autumn is back with Luke. I swear I will kill them both… no I wouldn’t. “Who is his girlfriend?” I managed to steady my voice to an I don’t really care tone.

“Luke is dating Karli now.”

I smiled… “Nice to know. He moved on, I knew he would.” I knew she could see tears building up in my eyes. I wanted so badly to just roll up into a ball and bawl. But instead I smiled. “Well autumn, ill have to catch up with you later. Ima go to hot topic or something.” And then I walked away.

Lukas. <3
I laughed she was blushing. She was cute when she blushed she wasn’t as cute as an…. I stopped my thoughts instantly. I hugged her. I knew it was wrong, me pretending it was Andi but Karli was honestly nothing but a slut and Andi was… well not a slut. I grabbed Karli’s hand and pulled her towards me she was trying to leave. “Babe you know you’re adorable when you blush.”

She smiled and looked away. “Well Luke I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow or something.”

I pulled her back towards me and pulled her in to a hug. “Aw ok A… Karli.” She didn’t notice I almost called her the wrong name. That or she just didn’t care.

She walked away and I turned and opened my bed room door. I took out my phone and touched compose new text message I went down the short list of my friends and stopped on baby girl <3 before touching it then in the message box I typed hey. I sat there waiting for a response for a couple of minutes. But there was nothing. I put my phone down and grabbed some clothes for a shower.

I finished my shower and got dried and dressed. I walked in to my room and grabbed my phone before jumping on to my bed. I checked my text messages and there was one from Andi.

Andi-hi
~Forever Broken </3~

I seen her signature and started to freak out. I knew I shouldn’t care but I did, I was in love with her still. It was obvious on my face when I looked at her.

Luke-Andi, what’s with the sig?
! BlessTheFall!
Andi-Karli…
~Forever Broken </3~

That’s all she had to say before I could hear my heart beating faster and faster… I knew that was me hating myself more for still continuing to break her heart. Maybe I should just stay away from her. But, I knew I couldn’t.

I set down my phone, how was I supposed to that one? Why the fuck would Andi still care!? Why did I still care?? Why didn’t I listen to autumn…? I was doing ok for the most part and then I just fucking caved. I would have been ok if I wouldn’t have remembered every kiss from Andi, every moment I stared into her eyes… Every second we were together and the last time we sat at the park, near our tree. I pulled out my phone and called Andi, if I cant talk to her in person, calling her would still beat texting. At least when we talk on the phone I can hear the emotion in her voice.
After about 3 rings I could hear someone pick up the phone. “Hello?” “Andi.” I could hear the shock in the next breath she took. She wasn’t expecting it to be me. Well that was the nice way of putting it. What that really meant was oh shit why the hell didn’t I look at the number? I waited for her to say something else but she remained with words unspoken. “Andi?” I knew she was there, I could still hear shallow breathing from here. “What Lukas?” yikes. Her tone was like a kick to the throat, and through the damn phone. “Can we talk? Please, in person?” I could hear her sigh into the phone before she accepted. I smiled. “Ill be there in less that 10.” Then without a goodbye she hung up. What did I get myself into with her?

I arrived at her house. She was sitting outside on her steps with her phone in her hand. She was seriously texting? The wind was blowing her hair around in a fight of rage. I seen a sparkle in her eyes. I couldn’t help but smile. Then I got closer and realized there was no sparkle except for the glow of her tears. I walked over and sat beside her on the steps.

She sniffed back a marathon of tears. “Uh…hey Lukas…” she turned her head and looked at the ground. I seen as her tears started flooding the sidewalk.

“About me and Karli.” Do I tell her the reason I’m dating her is because what autumn said, or tell her its because I’m pretending that Karli is her. Either way… it’s the truth.

She sighed and looked up at me. I watched as her tears danced down her cheeks bringing with them the sound of a breaking heart. “Go on…” he voice was weak, like she had been crying all day.

“I texted you and I called you for a week straight without stopping, after I knew you were out of the hospital. I waved to you in the halls at school and tried to talk to you when we were working on our project, I emailed you... I came to your house and knocked on the door. Autumn asked why she hasn’t heard about you lately and I told her that you weren’t talking to me. She started to laugh and said you don’t get it do you Luke? I asked her what she was talking about she told me that you were her best friend and you guys told each other everything so I should believe her. I asked her what I was supposed to believe her about and she said andi hates you; she wants nothing to do with you. That’s why she’s been ignoring you. I didn’t want to believe her, so I forced myself to call you on last time. So I did. When you didn’t answer I decided she was right and it obvious. She told me to move on; I told her I didn’t want anyone… but you. She insisted I looked pathetic. So I asked out Karli because I knew she wouldn’t say no.

The entire time I was talking I was staring down at the ground, when I finished I looked at her. She raised her head and looked at me, her eyes were hidden behind her hair but I could still see the tear streaks. She stood up and wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace, so I hugged her back. “I love you Lukas.”

I hesitated and bit my tongue… would it be wrong of me to tell her I love her while I’m with Karli? “I…uh love you to Andi.”

She sensed the hesitation and pulled away. “Sorry…I…forgot you….were…dating Ka…karli…” she sat down. “It…for a short moment…. Felt like everything….was before…”

I turned and looked up at the sky, the rain started to fall on my face. I could feel Andi’s eyes on me. “Andi, if I could change everything I would. I would take it back to the beginning and when we were dating, and this time I would do it right…” I turned and seen her hugging her knees to her chest. “But I can’t… I can’t turn back time. I can’t make… everything perfect; I can’t do what you deserve.” I watched as she buried her head into her knees. I could hear every sharp intake of breath she took at an attempt to stop crying. She opened her mouth to say something but then snapped it shut.

She took the deepest breath and finally spoke. “Luke… all I needed was time. I had every intention of giving you another chance….you have made living without you…. Impossible.”

I wasn’t sure what I was doing before I realized it, but it was too late. I bent down beside her and leaned closer to her. “Would it be ok, if I took your breath away?” without waiting for a response I kissed her.

Andi<3
Why did love have to be so heart breaking? So hurtful. Why did it have to bring with it so much pain and tears…? Not all love was like this… all my love was but…. Not all love was. I can’t take this. I know I need a new start. I need to get Lukas out of my head… but how was I supposed to do that? It didn’t matter if he was really here, he was here. This wasn’t fair to Karli. Why did I have to be such a good person? I pulled away and walked to the road before looking at Luke. “That… was wrong Luke.”

He stopped and thought for a moment before hitting himself in the head… “I’m so sorry Andi... Your right, none of this is fair for Karli… I can’t do this to her!” he started shaking. I wanted to walk over and comfort him or say something sweet but I remember what happened last time.

“Don’t apologize… it was my fault…. Luke, I love you……so much… But I can’t… I can not… keep loving you when you are with Karli…”

“So what am I losing you as everything now?”

I took a deep breath and wiped away some falling tears. “Don’t you think that is the best for both of us? In the beginning you were saying, you just want to do what is best for me, for us… for you… don’t you think that would be letting go… of the one person who has your heart and keeps squeezing it tighter and tighter?” it was to late to take back what I had just said, he heard it and now he knows how much pain he has caused me. I could tell what I just asked him hurt, hurt him bad.

“I don’t get it Andi, how am I squeezing you heart tighter and tighter? How do I still have you heart when I’m such an asshole??”

I sat on the curb with my back facing him. “You still have my heart, because when we were together… You captured it and you wrote your name in it, with permanent ink…that will never go away. That’s how you keep squeezing it. You cheated… that hurt, I forgave you and you did it again! That time I ended it because you made me! You kept saying I’m so tired of hurting you andi, I love you so much, I was thinking to myself…. Then why won’t you stop?? Then the girl you cheated on me with… you end up dating… the very same day. You said you guys weren’t going to make it… and came back to me… I was going to take you back… but I needed time! Time that you couldn’t give me apparently because you asked out Karli.”

“But I don’t love her.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying… Why was he doing this to both of us and why wasn’t this enough to make me understand… I don’t need him?? Fuck…because I knew I did.

“Then why are you dating her Lukas!? You’re leading her on!” I didn’t think he would ever sink lower than cheating… I guess I was wrong… and somehow, I still loved him.

“Andi… you still don’t get this, entire situation, do you? There’s a part of her, and it reminds me of you. When I’m sitting with her… I feel like its you...”

Well that shut me up. I didn’t know how to respond