Her Love Fades... - Kerry Boo.. (books to read in a lifetime TXT) 📗

love for you?” “It doesn’t honestly matter Lucas.” “Andi please…” I begged. “Autumn.” The breath caught in my throat. I said some pretty harsh sit about Andi when we broke up. Andi reaches into her pocket and shows me some text messages from autumn.

Autumn-Luke I won’t let you break Andi’s heart.
Luke-I already did.
Autumn-and your fucking proud of that?!
Luke-Breaking the heart of a bitch? Si.
Autumn-You fucking disgust me.
Luke-and you are a fucking bitch.

Andi puts her phone in her pocket and wipes away her tears. “Andi, autumn only showed you the shit that made me look bad, she didn’t send you the rest.” “Where does that make it better?” “It just does.” I take out my phone and put it in her hands.
Autumn-fine I’m a bitch, but I’m the one fucking Andi.
Luke-That is a god damn lie.
Autumn-ask her.
Luke-I wouldn’t insult Andi by asking her that.
Autumn-Luke I fucking hate you.
Luke-hate you too bitch.
Autumn-andi…really does love you Lucas.
Luke- ya and… I love her.

I could only stare at Andi’s face as the tears started pouring down. “That past fight with autumn was nothing Andi.” “Look I’m going to go before it gets to dark.” “Please call me!” “whatever.” I go home and plop on my bed. When my phone finally started ringing. –Hello- -I’m home- -good. - -Ya. - -Can we please talk about earlier? - -tomorrow I just want to sleep- then the phone goes silent.

I fucked up again.

Andi<3
After I left I started thinking that what he did could have been a lot worse… And I could have done the same thing so I can’t make him feel bad. Just going to have to tell him I am sorry that I over reacted. I dial Luke’s number –hello- he sounded miserable. –hey Luke, I just want to apologize for over reacting earlier. I really should have listened to you. - I wiped away my tears. –It’s ok baby girl, I am not worried about it as long as you still love me. - -Lucas I’ll always love you. - -I’ll always love you too. - -Awe ok Boo, I’d love to talk to you, but I really need to go to bed... Like I said, See you tomorrow in school. - -Night love you baby girl…- -I don’t have the penguin…- I was regretting leaving it there. –you knowww… You could cuddle with me. - I laughed. –Yes cause I’m going to sit here cuddling my cell phone all night. - -No, I was serious… I’ll walk over there and you can cuddle me. - I wanted to say yes. –Boo it’s freeing outside though. - - I don’t care baby girl, you can warm me up. I giggled. –ok. Come on over then-


My phone starts playing Annabel by Alesana

-Hellow?-
-….Hey um Andi we need to talk…-
-Who is this? - I was getting worried.
-Well umm…it’s Maddie…-
-Maddie… How did you get my number?-
-That’s not important.-
-oh... k what is it then? - I could feel my phone slipping.
-It’s about Lucas…-
-0f course it is! Why the fuck wouldn’t it be!?-
-I just think that’s its fair you to know that on the third Lucas was at my house and he was kissing everyone there.-

I couldn’t stand listening to it anymore and hung up on her. I decided I would ask him when he got here. And of course that had to be the door. I got up and walked over to it, I pulled it open and Luke was standing there. I moved aside to let him in and I didn’t let him see my face, He would have seen the tears.
“I’ll be back.” I managed to force out between the sniffles. I know he sensed that something was wrong because he reached out and wrapped his arms around me. I pulled away and walked in to my bathroom. “Baby girl, are you still pissed about earlier?” “No Lucas… I’m over that, I’m over all that.” I scream from the bathroom fixing my makeup. Would he really have cheated on me again? I walk out and wrapped my arms around him. He was freezing fucking cold. He bent down and kissed me. I kept my eyes open... I couldn’t bare to close them thinking that he might be kissing other girls again. I pulled away and fell to my floor.
“Babe is everything ok?” I start crying and hugging my knees. “no.” I could see the worry on his face. “Well what’s wrong!?” I closed my eyes and felt the tears keep falling. I wiped them away and sniffled. “Right before you showed up… Maddie called me and I asked her how she got my number and she wouldn’t tell me.” I could see the worry in his eyes when I said Maddie called me. He sat beside me with his legs crossed… “… I was going to tell you Andi.” I couldn’t believe it… was this his way of telling me what she told me was true?!?” I scooted away from him. “You were going to tell me what?” “I was at her house… and then shit happened….And…” I could see it was difficult for him because he started crying. “And what!?” Couldn’t he see how much pain he had put me through!? I couldn’t take it… “And…. I kissed a lot of people there…” my heart dropped… and shattered. I could feel the sharp blade of his knife sink in. and my hopes…were shattered…

“Lucas, you have done plenty of things to make my heart shatter, and I forgave you in minutes… I forgot about them…” I had to stop and wipe away the pouring tears. “But I can forgive you again, But I can not… Forget again…I am so sorry.” This was breaking my heart more than it he thought… every part of me died at that moment when I let him go.

Lukas </3

It’s over. I messed up for the last time… And now it was over. She’s standing there she won’t look at me but I know she is waiting for me to say something. I can’t. I can hear her teardrops falling; the hard impact on the floor. I can sense how tight she is squeezing her eyes shut. I can see how much pain she’s in… How much strength she needed... Just to say one word… Bye. I’ve hurt her so much, Andi has always deserved better.
“Andi I am so sorry, I am not going to sit here and beg for you to take me back, I know that you deserve someone who you won’t have to cry for.” I could feel my throat getting tighter.

“Lukas, it doesn’t matter how good a girl deserves, it’s who she wants, and I absolutely without a doubt want you. But I don’t always get what I want.”

The way she just explained it broke my heart more, sent a deeper crack in to it…
“Andi you are the only girl who will ever mean the world to me. I just wish I wasn’t so fucking stupid.” I took a deep breath. I knew eventually she would be ok without me, and I would just be another heart breaking asshole boy to her… but she would forever be the most important girl to me, the only one that I will ever want or die for even… But I knew I used all my chances and I would have to die without her.

You’re not stupid Lukas!” she was crying. I fucking hated myself. There was no way an apology would make everything ok, make her tears go away. Andi and I were a great thing while it lasted, but I can’t put her through any more pain. “I am, Andi I fucked up everything with the most amazing girl.” She fell silent and then continued. “Shit happens.” Then she just walked away. She wasn’t as good at acting as she always had been. She was broken.

Andi Leigh Not Wilson </3
I’m going to smile at him. Hope to fool him and instead of crying I am going to smile, Force the pain away… the easiest way to explain it… Just lie. Just because two people fall in love doesn’t mean they were meant to be together. It’s true I fell for Lukas. I fell for him hard and he wasn’t there to catch me when I fell.
I could hear footsteps walking into the kitchen behind me, I couldn’t turn around or they would have seen my tears pouring down without stopping. I wanted desperately to smile, but all I could do was cry. Then I hear a voice behind me. “I want to call you baby girl, I want to wrap my arms around you and hold you tight. I want to wake up tomorrow and feel you in my arms… But I know tomorrow morning I will wake up with empty arms and cry.” It was killing me; I only wanted Lukas to be mine… to be with him forever… and now that was never going to happen.

I couldn’t take all this crying anymore I was just loosing everything… Lukas, my broken heart, my hopes, dreams, wishes… myself included… I was loosing it all. I have no idea who the hell I am. “I’m going to smile when I walk past you in school…But that’s it Lukas.” He tilted his head. “What do you mean Andi?”

“I mean…” I stopped and took a deep breath before explaining. “I mean… Lukas I love you, but I don’t think I can be just friends with you. I know after a break up they always say, oh friends… better than nothing… But we never mention of the pain we endure by just looking in to the other person’s eyes… and they sit there and think nah she’s over me… Just friends. But you don’t know how much she really cries every time you guys see each other… because the memories.”
“I understand what you mean Andi, but wouldn’t you at least like to try? I don’t want to lose you because I am a dumb ass.” He was right… I should at least try. I smiled half heartily and said ok. I sniffled. He smiled. “Thank you Andi, I know that you don’t want this though.” I lied to him… he was right I didn’t want this, being friends with Lukas, the boy I am in love with… and he just brushes it off the shoulder and says friends. It had broken my heart, and it had killed me… Now I felt dead.

“Well um I guess I should be going.” It was dark and cold outside; I wasn’t going to let him walk home under these conditions.
“No Lukas, you should stay.” I don’t know what I was doing. I wanted to tape my mouth shut and wave goodbye to him, but every part of me knew that I couldn’t.
“Andi you don’t have to worry about me, ima be fine.” Part of me thought that’s enough to let him leave but not enough.
“No Luke, really stay… You wanted to try and be friends… this is what friends do.”
I knew the entire time the reason I wasn’t going to let him go was because I was afraid the moment he walked out the door, I was going to lose him forever.
“But where am I supposed to sleep?” I was surprised that I had got him to think about this. I wasn’t exactly sure why he was supposed to sleep I was just being nice. I’m always going to love him. I looked at my nails and nonchalantly pointed towards my bed. I looked back at him like none