Beautiful Darkness - Maurice Mitchell (best inspirational books txt) 📗

Warning: This story is based on the life and times of its Author. The stories depicted in this book are completely non-fiction and based on real life events. However the names of the places and the characters have been changed to protect the identities of everyone involved. All character names appearing in this work are fictitious, and any resemblance to real names, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Prologue

This is the inspirational story of a kid who struggled to find a place of belonging throughout his life. A kid who always appeared to have it all together on the outside while battling demons on the inside. Demons which would reside in him through experiences with abuse, heartbreak, violence and death. Its not the average story of the kid who sold drugs to get out of the ghetto, or died trying to feed his family. It doesn’t take place in the ghetto and it doesn’t take place in the suburbs, instead it's somewehre in-between. It’s a testament to a willpower that every one can learn to use at some point in their life. Willpower that keeps you going through the dark in search for the light and through hell in search for God. It tells about the lessons that one learns as he or she fights their way through the trials of a not so everyday life. It’s a story of determination, perseverance and ambition. The story of a kid who God let the devil have his way with, while holding his hand through the entire ride knowing some day that kid would find his way home.


“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”
St. Francis of Assisi

Contents

Introduction
Chapter 1 (Friends Ain’t Friends)
Chapter 2 (A Lesson In Death)
Chapter 3 (Summer Rain)
Chapter 4 (A Stitch In Time)
Chapter 5 (Meaning)
Chapter 6 (The Hood After Father)
Chapter 7 (Corruption)
Chapter 8 (Hatred)
Chapter 9 (The Decision)
Chapter 10 (Stairway To Hell)
Chapter 11 (Son Of A B****)
Chapter 12 (Love Never Lost)
Chapter 13 (Family Reunion)
Chapter 14 (Colorado Rocky)
Chapter 15 (Beginning Of The End)
Chapter 16 (Betrayal)
Chapter 17 (Art And War)
Chapter 18 (Steal A Victim)
Chapter 19 (The Devil's Door)
Chapter 20 (School Of Hard Knocks)
Chapter 21 (Life And Death)
Chapter 22 (A Shot In The Dark)
Chapter 23 (Lessons In Love)
Chapter 24 (New Focus, New York)

Introduction

Life has a funny way of teaching us things. Seems like regardless of what or who you plan to be, life is going to shape you into whom you’re supposed to be. Sometimes who you’re supposed to be is not necessarily the person you had in mind. Since a kid I was always different, different from my peers and different from those who surrounded me. I was always very analytical, observant, and somewhat hard to get along with. I was always very practical, everything I did had to make sense, and every move I made had to ensure progression. Throughout my childhood and teenage years I always hung out with people older then me. In some situations that worked out for me, while in others not so much. Either way it helped me become the person I am today. I have always been told that I am wise beyond my years, and never truly understood what people meant by that until I got older. As it turns out being mature for your age can hurt you just as much as it can help you. Sometime you find yourself wishing you could think like everyone else your age, so you can live as care free as they do. Yet I do believe my maturity and my instincts are a big part of the reason I am alive today. I believe that my mind is a gift as well as a curse. A gift because I have the ability to observe everyday activities, and turn them into conceptual pictures which deeply help people. A curse because that same mind makes it very difficult to sleep, and accept life, as well as people. I’m sure many people may believe that at twenty-five years of age, I am too young to reflect upon life and write a book. However I know different, and after reading this book and gaining an understanding as to how I got to where I am today, I am certain you will agree. Besides once we wait until we reach a certain age to reflect upon our life, many relevant moments become mere distant memories, which we can never capture again. So I figured there is no better time then the present to share my life experiences with any and everyone who is willing to listen. I pray this book will be as insightful and as inspirational to you, as some of the books I have read in the past have been to me.

Chapter One (Friends Ain’t Friends)

Growing up in New York City was fun. Like everything else in life it has its challenges, but nothing I didn’t overcome. Being that I did not stay in New York my entire youth, I felt like I missed out on a lot of opportunities. New York forces you to become a man, not only a man but an individual; a strong individual. Not to say that I didn’t become one, but it took me longer and the journey was different, but ill get more into that later. Though there were many hard times in the city, I was always unaware when those times occurred. I was blessed as a child, because I had such a strong and supportive family. My mother had me at a young age, so the odds were against us from the beginning; but with the support of our family we were able to defeat those odds quickly. My Mother is a beautiful woman, light-skinned, short hair, very well kept. Everyone in my immediate family dresses to kill and she is no exception. She’s also very passionate, intelligent, and strong. As cliché as it may sound I know I have the best mother in the world. She was incredibly good at making me believe that I had everything I could ever need, and I did. I never felt like we were without. Even in her most trying times she would always make sure there was a smile on her face whenever I was around. She did all the little things it took to keep me happy as a kid. I was a big wrestling fan, and she would always buy me the newest action figures. I used to love when she went to the video store and bought the pay-per-view events. When I was real young we lived with my Grandmother. My Grandmother is another beautiful woman, also very well kept. She doesn’t look a day over 35 and so all my friends refer to her as the diva. Most people think she’s either my Mother or my Sister when they see us together. Eventually we moved into our own small apartment on Atlantic Ave. However, even after we moved I never had to be without my grandmother because my visits were frequent. Pretty much every weekend I found myself either at my Nana’s house or my Grandmothers house. I visited my other Grandmother in Queens often as well. All of my Grandmothers are special, they each played a vital role in raising me. My Nana lived in Bedstuy, I loved going to visit her. She had the warmness about her, she was fair-skinned, with gray hair and glasses. She had a way of making me feel really loved. I could tell she loved having me around just as much as I loved being around. I had a way of getting into a lot of mischief at times when she babysat me, especially when my little cousin was around. Sometime I used to get to her, but she could never stay mad at me. Even when she would send me to my room to punish me, she would be in there a few minutes later reading me a story, or bringing me something to eat while we watched wheel of fortune. I loved my Nana, she would give anything that she had to keep me happy, and as a kid I felt that love. Unfortunately I didn’t feel that kind of love in the street.

I was a good kid for the most part. I just picked up on a few bad habits after hanging out with the wrong crowds. For whatever reason the older kids always liked me and wanted me to rock with them. That never went over to well with the kids my age. My mom and I moved an awful lot, so I found myself going to a different school almost every year. From the fourth grade all the way up until high-school I was in a different school each year. Always having to adjust to a new school was difficult. I was always the new kid on the block, and always had to make new friends. I had to get used to proving myself over and over, little did I know that would serve me well later in life. I learned fast in New York, that when you’re the new kid people are going to test you, especially when the girls like you. Well going to six different schools in seven years, you can imagine how much I was tested. Before I got into my first fight I was somewhat of a push over. I always found myself in a situation where dudes wanted to fight me, because they heard their first crush liked me, or because I beat them in basketball. Being that I never had a real crew growing up because I moved so much, I was always an easy target. However, though I may not have really wanted to fight, I knew how to make it seem like I was the toughest dude walking. Before I discovered that could defend myself, my mouth was my sharpest weapon. I always had the ability to talk my way out of anything. I knew how to make dudes think twice about stepping to me, as if they were missing something and were afraid to find out what it was. That worked for a while, until I met this grown man in a child’s body named Tyree Blackman. Tyree was tall, dark, and rough looking. He was one of those kids who seem to have grown man strength. He had veins popping out his arm and scars covering his face. Before I met Tyree, I’d been in a few arguments and shove matches, but never a real fight. I was taunted quite a lot, like the average inner city kid but I never did much about it. I was able to hold my composure through almost everything, an ability that would soon fade. Her name was Carmen, that’s who started it all. Carmen was bad! She was tall, medium build, had a caramel complexion, and every pair of sneakers you could think of. She had more style then every other third grade girl by far. She was also smart, only thing brighter then her was her smile, which seem to light up every room she stepped in. I guess her and Tyree had a little thing before I came into the school, and he had not intentions on letting that go. Tyree was the school bully, a professionally trained trouble maker. The kind of kid every parent tells his or her kid to stay away from. My Mother tried to keep me away from him, but like most kids I didn’t listen. Ty was my