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guys wanted my autograph and girls wanted my number. It was crazy, I had my Pop in front of me pushing people off me while I signed everything from basketballs to breast. This was a feeling I could get used to. I’d made a name for myself and getting a record deal was no longer a dream, it was a goal. At the end of the game I went into the back room and met with Benz. It was there I was promised money, a trip to New York, a trip to the Source Awards, and a record deal. I was told I would be contacted in a week or so with the information. I would never hear from Benz again.

Chapter 18 (Steal A Victim)



As it turned out, Benz and his click were running a scam. See the kid that I battled from Harlem was actually a part of his crew and was never supposed to lose the battle. I think they went from state to state and ran the same b.s to promote his album. They never anticipated the dude losing, that was just my luck. Well he lost to me and they never actually planned on giving me anything they promised. That was my first lesson in the game, I got a taste of how the industry really is, it was a preview for what was to come. While my music was improving and beginning to flourish, I was starting to spiral out of control. I was having trouble dealing with the disappointment of not getting a deal and the everyday disappointments of life. At this point I’d developed a click of my own which was pretty damn strong. There was quite a few of us. There was me, Kev, Tay, Dolla, Lenny, West, Black, and a few other dudes who came around every once in a while. Lenny, West, and Black had been best friends since they were kids and I fit right into the click with them. They became a part of my team and it was like we knew each other forever. They were all short, dark skinned and muscular. All athletes, we’d end up growing up together. At that time I was close to everybody in the click but closest to Kev, Tay and Dolla. Dolla was Spanish and had an edge that reminded me of the one I possessed. He was tough, bald headed and medium built, also the best dressed Spanish kid I knew. He used to always tell me about his brother who was locked up, said he always felt like we would get along. He used to always say his brother and I were the same in a lot of ways and he never really respected any of Dolla’s friends. Dolla had a click of his own and they all seemed to be into anything that was negative. He was always around this skinny light skinned kid named Tone and this white boy named Jake. In hanging out with Dolla, I found myself hanging out with them quite often. Dolla felt like something was different about me though, I promised when his brother came home I would hold him down, I kept my word. In the mean time I was running the streets with Dolla and his click, seem like we were always getting into some kind of mischief. If I wasn’t writing, I was fighting, if I was fighting I was stealing. We were all basically with anything that had to do with getting money. Dolla and Tone were constantly hustling, selling drugs to whoever needed it. I liked that they were getting money so I helped out every now and then. It seemed like I was constantly around the drugs so I figured hell I might as well get some money too if I’m going to be here. I never got into doing drugs though, it seemed like they were high all the time but I never really smoked. Even in my wildest of times I had some type of righteousness in me. Half the time I felt like because we got into so many fights and got so many death threats I never wanted to be high when something went down. I never really got into selling the drugs like my boys did either, I was more into stealing. I hadn’t stole anything in years, but before I knew it, I got that urge again. Tay did a lot of the stealing with me, we used to get it in. I started off just stealing out of peoples bags, and snatching things off people at different places. The same things I did when I was kid. Then one day I got my hands on a lock cutter and it was over, we hit the jackpot. We used to go to recreation centers and break into every locker we could. Every time we did it we left with hundreds of dollars in a few minutes. We stole from the lockers at schools too. If we weren’t in somebody’s lockers we were breaking into cars, we even drove a couple of them. I don’t really know why I started stealing again initially, I just felt like it was too easy and I was to smart to get caught.

Once I started stealing I just got used to having the extra money so I kept doing it. Before I knew it we were breaking into houses, and crashing parties just to rob people blind. Kids in Colorado would always throw house parties in these huge houses while their parents were away. That was better then a garage sale. We used to leave with money, jewelry, games and furniture. A few times I even took computers. Looking back, thinking about all the things I’ve taken from people makes me sick honestly, and I’ve come to learn that Karma is a bi*ch. But it is what it is, this is my reality and it’s a reality many kids are faced with, trust me, its not worth it. The more we stole the more money we got and the more ruthless I became. I was stealing peoples sneakers out of their lockers and selling them back to them. I’m sure you can imagine a few people wanted to kill me for that. We even stole from schools during basketball season when we had away games. Slowly but surely my attitude was beginning to ruin my basketball career. I was more concerned with getting money and chilling with crew then playing ball and it started to show. I remember one specific game we were playing against our rivals at Overmills. We hated them and they hated us, that became obvious when we almost fought during pregame warm ups. Well when the game started there was no almost, we got it in. I went up for a rebound and got fouled real hard, the Overmills player and I both fell to the floor. I got up and kicked him in his face and a team fight transpired. The fight made the paper, it was the first time I would be in the paper for basketball. It was also the first time I’d let my temper effect my love for the game, but it wouldn’t be the last. My coach made me run until I threw up, I begin to love basketball less and less by the day. I was very talented, but hated the fact that we lost so much, and hated the fact that the coaches wouldn’t let me play my game. We had terrible coaches and I allowed them to strip away the admiration I had for the game. It wasn’t all their fault though, I was just in a bad place mentally. Ironically the same sport that kept me out of trouble, was the same sport that would get me into it. My stealing grew out of control and I became sloppy, I lost track of all the rules I set for myself. In reality it just became too easy. I used to keep that lock cutter in this hole on top of the lockers, only thing was I hated having to reach back there to get it out every time. So I got lazy and left it out just a little bit, apparently that little bit was enough for my coaches to find it. Rather then confiscate it, they set me up, they left it there and waited to see who would come get it. Yep, I was the rat coming for the cheese, they got me. As soon as I pulled the lock cutter out from the hole, the lights popped on and teachers, coaches and counselors came from every angle. My first thought was “Damn how long have they been waiting in the dark for me to come get this.” Nonetheless it didn’t matter, I was caught and I got arrested. I was supposed to be starting in my first varsity game, but instead I was in handcuffs being questioned about missing product. The cops told me the school reported that over 2,000 dollars in property had gone missing over the last few weeks and they had every reason to believe I was to blame. I mean they didn’t really need Sherlock Holmes for this one, but I figured I’d plead my case anyway. I told them that was my first time finding the lock cutter and it was brought to my attention earlier by a friend. I was just pulling it out to see what the hell it was and why it was on top of my locker. They didn’t believe me, but they couldn’t prove otherwise so they had to let me go. I was just happy I didn’t have to spend the night, not because it was jail but more so because I didn’t have to tell my parents. Job well done, I dodged that bullet. A few days later I was back in practice, running again, until I threw up……again. I stopped stealing after that, I felt like that was my wake up call, I decided that was it, I needed to get myself together. In the mist of all of that I was in my first real relationship, Dolla’s brother Raymond came home and Kev and Tay had become like brothers to me. I developed a relationship with Raymond that was just as strong as Dolla anticipated it would be. I felt like I finally had the brothers I always wanted. The vision Kev and I had of forming a super squad had finally come true, Wreck Boys were here. I found myself in a relationship with a girl named Alyysa who I’d been friends with for years. She was brown skinned and athletic, cute, smart, and most importantly trustworthy. Everything was good with my girlfriend and everything was good with my family. I was working at a fast food spot and I’d just got accepted into college. Things were looking up and I was happy, I felt like I was on top of the world. Unfortunately they say there’s only one way to go when your on top, I was soon to find that’s damn true.

Chapter 19 (The Devils Door)



My summer going into college was a crazy summer, a lot of ups and downs. I was floating high off of getting accepted into college and seeing my parents so happy. I thought about the time my father told me I would never graduate from college, I knew this was the first step to making him eat that comment. I got my grades up my senior year in high school and was focus on going into college with a clear mind. That was the plan, but I came across a few distractions that would make that difficult. That summer I started to see a change in Tay and it wasn’t really a good one. He didn’t seem to be himself and it scared me. He

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